With somebody other than Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi taking the top honours for the first time in a decade, some saw the 2018 Ballon d’Or as the end of an epoch.
Luka Modric (who, in fairness, is a little too old to be kicking off a new epoch of his own) claimed the award, while Kylian Mbappe was also honoured with some made-up Kopa Trophy for being young, gifted and prodigiously marketable.
Neymar, the man who was supposed to be king, decided not to attend after washing up way down in 12th place in the official France Football poll.
Despite the ceremony taking place at the Grand Palais just across town from his house, the Brazilian instead decided to fire up his gaming rig and live-stream himself playing Call of Duty all the while Modric was being ordained…
— DEXERTO Call of Duty (@DexertoIntel) 3 December 2018
To be fair, faced with the option of sitting through hours of fatuous waffle (sprinkled with a light dusting of cringe-inducing sexism) or spending the evening getting repeatedly pulped by obnoxious children and silent Russian virgins in a make-believe warzone, Pies think we’d at least prefer to waste that time in the comfort of our own home.
In a truly shocking turn of events, we are officially siding with Neymar on this one.