Top 10 Worst Premier League Goals Of All Time

Chris Wright

22nd, December 2011

23 Comments

By Chris Wright

Time to lighten the mood. Given that Marc Albrighton notched the Premier League’s 20,000th goal last night, it seemed only right to put together a little video compendium of ten of the best most hideously ugly goals ever to have been scored over the course of these 19-and-a-half glorious seasons.

From the top…

10. Simeon Jackson, Wolves vs NORWICH, 2011

A recent one to kick things off with and a finish so bad that it made a bit of bile rise in my throat (skip to 2:33, apologies for the awful soundtrack in advance)…

9. Mido, TOTTENHAM vs Middlesbrough, 2005

When even the striker is turning away in disgust, you know the ‘keeper should really be on top of things…

(Thanks to @tomvictor)

8. Thierry Henry, ARSENAL vs Fulham, 2000/01

The day that Monsieur Henry learned what ‘beans on toast’ meant in Cockney Rhyming Slang…

(Thanks to @dvdmnc)

7. Lauren (O.G), MANCHESTER CITY vs Arsenal, 2003

In which Lauren charges 20 yards after a long ball, brings it under first-time and then rolls a delightful finish past his own goalkeeper…

6. Luka Modric, TOTTENHAM vs Wigan, 2009

Either Modric’s reactions are so good that he saw the diving header coming before the ball even came back off the post…or…he’s a jammy little git…

5. Steve McManaman, Tottenham vs LIVERPOOL, 1999

Ian Walker gets beaten from range by a shot that wouldn’t be able to overtake a glacier in a sprint finish. With tongue firmly entrenched in cheek, McManaman gloated that ‘the power and the swerve deceived Walker’ after the match (skip to 1:53, apologies for the terrible picture quality)…

4. Stan Collymore, Blackburn vs LIVERPOOL, 1997

Similar to No. 5, Collymore sends a wimpy trickler towards goal from 25-yards and a strategically placed divot does the rest, sending the ball over Tim Flowers’ shoulder and in at roughly ½-a-mile an hour – leaving both players completely dumbfounded…

3. Peter Crouch, LIVERPOOL vs Wigan, 2005

After going four months and 19 games without scoring after signing for Liverpool, Crouchy finally opened his account in craptacular style…

(Thanks to @SDMullan)

2. Matt Le Tissier, Manchester United vs SOUTHAMPTON, 2000

It’s a widely known little-known fact that Massimo Taibi actually picked up two Man of the Match awards in the four games he played for United. This was one of the Blind Venetian’s ‘other’ two…

1. Olof Mellberg/Peter Enckelman (O.G), BIRMINGHAM vs Aston Villa, 2002

Enckelman still claims to this day that he didn’t touch Mellberg’s throw, ergo the goal shouldn’t have stood – but, regardless of the mitigating circumstances, you can’t escape the fact that it was an absolute bloody fiasco…

First of all, thanks to everyone who helped us reach the ’10’ mark by answering the call on Twitter. Secondly, if there’s any stinkers I’ve missed (there must be, considering we’ve now got 20,000 to pick from!) then let us know in the comments box below…

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