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Top Ten Oscar-Worthy Footballers (Videos)

By Chris Wright

We know we’re a little ‘late to the party’ with this one but, in celebration of the 83rd Academy Awards which were held in Los Angeles on Sunday night, here are Pies’ top ten nominations for ‘Best Footballing Actor in a Simulated Role’…

10. Kader Keita – Brazil vs Ivory Coast, 2010:

The rib bone’s connected to the face bone…

9. Oleksandr Aliyev – Arsenal vs Dynamo Kyiv, 2008:

Russian midfielder takes ‘playing possum’ to new heights…

8. Steven Taylor – Newcastle vs Aston Villa, 2005:

When the old ‘clutching the imaginary exit wound’ routines fails to fool anyone…

7. Emerson Acuna – Atletico Junior vs America, 2008:

‘Simulation incroyable’ indeed…

6. Steven Gerrard – Liverpool vs Bolton, 2006:

Stevie G MBE has a fair old back-catalogue to file through as this video will duly attest to, but his leg-buckling wilt against Bolton (1:30) just about stands out from the rest of his oeuvre…

5. Jens Lehmann – Arsenal vs Bolton, 2006:

Mad Jens at the peak of his powers…

4. Sergio Busquets – Barcelona vs Inter Milan, 2010:

Peek-a-boo…

3. Jurgen Klinsmann – Germany vs Argentina, 1990:

Many of today’s aspirant footballing hams consider this appalling effort to be genesis as far as the relatively modern practice of ‘spine-arching’ is concerned…

2. Rivaldo – Brazil vs Turkey, 2002:

Rivaldo found himself fined £5,180 by FIFA for this peerless piece of ‘method’, though the Brazilian playmaker didn’t seem overly phased – assuring reporters that he ‘wasn’t sorry about anything’…

1. Alberto Gilardino – Celtic vs AC Milan, 2007:

Utterly pathetic, but in a truly truly astounding way…

That’s right, no Didier Drogba…deal with it.

Missed any pearlers? Give us a nudge in the comments box below…

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By Chris on March 1st, 2011 in Featured, Top 10s & lists, Videos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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29 Responses to “Top Ten Oscar-Worthy Footballers (Videos)”

  1. tikabooson says:

    That Gilardino dive gets more preposterous with every watch. We chose Bryan Carrasco slapping himself in the face with someone else’s hand as Best Actor award in our Oscars 2010/11. http://blog.tikabooson.com/?p=983

  2. babo says:

    Er… all very good entries, but what about Morten Gamst Pederson for Blackburn against Arsenal. THE best dive ever.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I8p_CRR3Bk

  3. Al Neri says:

    Great article.

  4. drags says:

    Dida? falling to ground 5 minutes after a “slap” !?

  5. Chris says:

    @Babo: Dammit, I completely forgot about MGP’s sly glance! Definitely worthy of an award.

  6. tapioca says:

    No Cristiano Ronaldo AT ALL?!! Or Leo Messi’s getting Chelsea’s Asier Del Horno sent off in a CL match, complete with a peek at the ref almost as sublime as Busquets’.

  7. Ted Balls says:

    One can only hope the ref in no. 7 was never allowed to set foot on a football pitch again after that.

    It was absolutely hilarious when Fantasy Football League did the Klinsmann ‘Phoenix From The Flames’. Hasn’t been uploaded to Youtube yet, though :(
    Have to make do with the Ilunga Mwepu one in the meantime.

  8. Santi says:

    Lehman vs Drogba is a favourite of mine

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyA_MB9l-b4

  9. Chris says:

    @Santi: It was a toss-up which one made it into the final 10, but the split-second look of sheer disbelief when he realises he hasn’t got the free-kick vs Bolton eventually pipped the epic fued with Droggers.

  10. You should come and watch carefully the portuguese league for only one weekend and I’m sure you’ll get some serious contenders… :(

    @tikabooson
    Carrasco’s move was not a fake one, he REALLY slapped himself! Method actor? If that’s the case, ok, yes, he’s the winner…

  11. VA Red says:

    I think the sub Steven Taylor was on the line…

  12. King Eric says:

    So glad to see Gerrard in here, to all the pool fans that preach about Ronaldo your captain fantastic is an advocate of diving. They should throw in a two-footed challenge compilation while they’re at it.

  13. JJ says:

    That Klinsmann one was a bit unfair. He had a few other dives more suited to this article me thinks.
    In this particular one the argentinian hits him just bellow the knee with his studs, although the spine srchery afterward was funny as hell.

  14. Caleb says:

    I believe this has already been said, but DIDA vs. Celtic?

  15. Pete says:

    Saarbrücken’s Marc Lerandy gets brutally hit by Offenbach’s Olivier Occean (3rd German league):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub4QY82KBAg

    ;)

  16. stuart says:

    you’ve missed a few of my favourites, it’s understandable as there are so many to choose from!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxydvtu9UsM Torres dive

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meWyEBCo6oo De Rossi dive

    there was also that Rangers player that took a dive after squaring up to another player as if he got head butted, can’t find a link to it though.

  17. Ruperto says:

    You Should See All The Players From America FC In Mexico In Every Game They Fake A Foul Or Penalty

  18. Tom Jones says:

    There is no number 3.
    And why the hell did you include Klinsmann? Monzon goes for him studs up legs stretched with absolutely no intention of getting the ball. If Klinsmann hadn’t done what he did his legs could have broken straight off.

  19. kobi says:

    Dida is missing

  20. alan smith says:

    To be honest the Gerrard video shows mainly fouls on him though I won’t deny some of them are blatant dives. Arjen Robben againt Reina anyone?

  21. ken says:

    how the hell is there no ronaldo in this?

  22. Dusty says:

    Big lack of Kyle Lafferty in this article! Cheating lowlife!

  23. Anonymous says:

    Aliyev is Ukrainian.

  24. hgo says:

    gerrard is a best of all divers really disgrace. @alan smit wash you eyes you idiot pathetic lpool fan . everybody knows gerrards diver

  25. Xio says:

    No CR7?? I’m almost disappointed

  26. Ryan says:

    Rivaldo’s is the most laughable.

    Hard to choose though

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