Top 10 Players That Always Look Knackered
By Chris Wright
For no other reason other than I can’t think of anything else to do today, Pies presents our list of ‘Top Ten Players who always look (or looked) thoroughly knackered’ – because everybody loves a list, don’t they?
In no particular order…
1. Wayne Rooney
Like a joint of boiled ham – sweaty, pink and steaming…
2. Richard Dunne
Give it ten minutes and Dunne can be found lurched over in the six-yard box, apple-cheeked and sucking in oxygen like a jumbo jet turbine…
3. Gabriel Heinze
Poor Gab’s hair instantly becomes stringy and sweaty-drenched as soon as it comes into contact with ‘stadium atmosphere’…
4. Jamie Carragher
The Liverpool stalwart has now trademarked the ‘Carra Five’, i.e, the precious five minutes at the start of a game which he spends upright before he’s bent double, gasping for breath and playing catch-up with a spritely striker…
5. Stephane Henchoz
Merely running out from the dressing room to the pitch was enough to tucker out our Stephane…
6. Sir Bobby Charlton
Perhaps a tad unfair on Sir Bobert, but unfortunately there are certain images that instantly spring to mind when his name crops up in conversation…
7. Andrey Arshavin
Spends long periods in complete anonymity, staring longingly back at the bench like a Russian war orphan pining through the sweet shop window…
8. Luis Figo
Looked tatered from the get-go during most games, yet still found the stamina reserves to run rings around everyone for the subsequent 90(ish) minutes…
9. Damien Duff
After roughly 15 minutes of any given game, Duff begins to take on the appearance of a mildly autistic Irish farmhand who’s spent the afternoon chasing chickens…
10. Chris Waddle
A genius he may have been, but an audaciously awful mullet bristling with fresh sweat is never going to be a good look – no matter how good you are…
Honorary mentions: Steve Bruce, Dimitar Berbatov, Darren Anderton, Shefki Kuqi.
Any glaring misses? Feel free to give us a nudge ‘down below’ with your shouts…
Do Arsenal Artificially Enhance The Emirates Atmosphere? – OTP
Big Cup Bullshit – The FCF
Guess UEFA Cup Finalists From Their Shirt – Three Match Ban
20 Damning Steve Kean Quotes – Mirror Football
'Abandon All Hope…' – Sunshine Room
Leaked Blackburn Letter Shows Extent Of Turmoil – EPL Talk
Genius Who Couldn't Exist Today: Dragan Stojkovic – LBITCR
German Philosopher Reflects On Jose Mourinho – Futfanatico
Rule Changes That Could Hand Title To Man Utd – FourFourTwo
Welcome To Posh – Danny Last for IBWM
YAYA TOURE
As soon as i saw this topic my first thought was Damien Duff. Lo and behold…
Joe Cole, always looks like he was out on the lash the nite before.
Joe Cole, always looks like he was out on the lash the night before.
Mark Viduka….
i’m genuinely shocked there’s no yaya toure!
Joe Cole. When trying to negotiate a Liverpool away day in the Europa League (may not be available for some time), I fully advise a ‘Joe Cole’s blowing from his arse’ sweepstake. When the camera picks up the pose shown below, you have a winner. It’s often seen within the first ten minutes.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/09/26/article-0-02BE6C4300000578-29_306x519.jpg
Neville Southall – and he played in pegs.
my first thought was Ryan Giggs…..but that would be “like they were left out of the joke”
“again”
How did Brett Ormerod (Blackpool) not make this list! The man looks constantly knackered!
Clint Dempsey usually looks like he just came off a 3-day bender.
The only thing that was unfair was calling him Sir “Bobert”. He’s a Knight of the Realm. Show some respect.
Big ZZ liked a sweat ! Big Davie Weir looks knackered …… but that’s cause he is – old fart !
The Berba. His sweat is invisible.
Surely Ozil would be in this – he always looks like he’s about to pass out
how about Chris Smalling? sometimes i think he takes naps on the bench/pitch, too much parties like the other week maybe
yakubu
Agree with Mark. I bet Oezil looks exhausted while actually sleeping.
Can I submit a Shit Lookalike between Damien Duff and Mitchell from Modern Family?
http://tinyurl.com/49lpo27
Clint Dempsey, always looks like he got about 90 minutes sleep the night before
Ledley King…oh wait…
Yep, Clint Dempsey
Andy Reid,
He looks like someone grabbed the crisps out of his hand and ran off, and hes tried to catch them but ran out of breath.
agree on ozil definitely! the real madrid staff must have an awful season watching his almost-passing-out-face with the slight built.
How did our JT not get a mention? The bloke always looks exhausted.
No William Gallas?!? One of these days he’s just gonna barf all over his marker on a corner kick.
in damo duff’s defence, i think he has asthma…
Unusual article but I’m glad you have changed the way you present photos now ! No more clicking through a whole gallery and waiting for the page to load.
Joe Cole. Hands on hips, blowing into the wind, possibly the most infuriating stance in world football right now
where the hell is mesut ozil?
Clint Dempsey agreed… He always looks like a piece of grizzle that a fat man at a 3.99 steak house gave up on.
HAHAHAHAHAHA Damiens is the best: “Duff begins to take on the appearance of a mildly autistic Irish farmhand who’s spent the afternoon chasing chickens”
http://www.google.ie/imgres?imgurl=http://live4liverpool.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Dirk-Kuyt.jpg&imgrefurl=http://live4liverpool.com/tag/holland&usg=__TBzYk99045_GghBfuwsklM-UhSg=&h=600&w=800&sz=81&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=sgaB1Wji6HqySM:&tbnh=168&tbnw=225&ei=EUqPTc2QE4OAhQf47r3GDg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddirk%2Bkuyt%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D685%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=877&vpy=131&dur=7196&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=76&ty=137&oei=EUqPTc2QE4OAhQf47r3GDg&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0
What about john terry?
Dirk Kuyt looks like he’s spent 48 hrs in an abattoir
What a stupid thing to say about Arshavin.
John Terry is a cunt.
Wolves’ Cristophe Berra is usually huffing and puffing by about the 10 minute mark but always stays the duration
Ozil always looks like the effort of coming out of the tunnel has made him too tired to play.
raul merieles
Scholesy??? To be fair he is an asthma riddled pensioner…
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2009/9/19/1253374420050/paul-scholes-001.jpg
MESUT OZIL..he always looks like he’s about collapse..hahaha
for some reason Steven Gerard always looks in pain, a bit like he’s got a nail in his boot!!!!!!!!!!!
STILIYAN PETROV!
Kevin Nolan. Mainly because he is a fat git though