By Chris Wright
A few days back, Rio Ferdinand suffered an existential crisis of conviction and was forced to turn to his 5.1million Twitter followers to help settle humanity’s most divisive philosophical quandaries since Andrex asked the nation if we scrunched or folded afore wiping faeces from our hind quarters…
If u had to go in a toilet & smell a fresh poo or wee what would it be???!! #PooOrWee ???!!
— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) January 21, 2014
Lest we forget, Rio Ferdinand is a 35-year-old man.