We tell you who’s going to win in Moscow, amongst other things
1. If United are losing with ten minutes to go, Clive Tyldesley will inevitably invoke “that night in Barcelona”.
2. Chosen methods of leadership: Rio Ferdinand and John Terry will both clap their hands a lot. It’s the key ingredient in both players’ style of captaincy.
3. C-Ron will spend more time on his hair before the game than the rest of his team-mates combined.
4. John Terry won’t last 90 minutes. JT may not know his own physical limits – coming back from a dislocated elbow so quickly could be a big mistake. Alex Ferguson will tell his players to harrass Terry early on.
5. During lulls in the play, the coverage will cut away to Roman Abramovich, who will be wearing his usual look of gormless, childlike bemusement.
6. During lulls in the play, the coverage will cut away to Andriy Shevchenko, who will be wearing his usual look of quiet frustration.
7. If United win, expect to see Gary Neville strutting around the pitch, clad in United suit, as if he’s won the final himself. WARNING: Offensive badge-kissing – the badge on his club blazer – may happen.
8. I expect Chelsea to nullify the threat of Ronaldo, because that’s what they do best. I seriously doubt C-Ron will have a significant impact on the game. There, I said it. Humble pie at the ready…
9. A substitute will score the winning goal. Just don’t ask me who. Carlos Tevez maybe. Sheva, even?
10. One final prediction: United will win in normal time. I think.
What do you think will happen?