With all the will in the world, with his furrowed brow and voice less melodious than a dot-matrix printer, Alan Shearer simply is not a font of natural charisma.
As such, it shouldn’t come as much surprise that the-then Newcastle striker struggled to inject much life into his dialogue after being plonked in the middle of a McDonald’s advert during the run-up to the 1998 World Cup.
The mini-vignette sees a young Geordie desperately trying to get Shearer’s autograph only to be spurned at every turn, until a fortuitous meeting at their local fast food outlet (coupled with a bit of wry signature-based gamesmanship) changes all that…
‘Wooden’ doesn’t even come close.
Less than 20 years old and already this advert probably doesn’t make the slightest lick of sense anymore.
Do the damn, blasted kids of today even know what a cheque is/was?