Let’s NOT all laugh at Newcastle

Ollie Irish

25th, May 2009


I thought this would be more enjoyable
Like many neutral fans, I really wanted Newcastle to go down – because I knew it would be very enjoyable to see such a “massive” (translation: deluded) club drop down to the Championship, where they would face ingnominious, reality-check trips to outposts like Doncaster, Plymouth and Swansea. And for Newcastle to be taken down by a playing legend-turned-Messiah… well, it doesn’t get any better than that.
Or so I thought. Actually, I didn’t enjoy Newcastle’s relegation at all. The graceless behaviour of Phil Brown (what a tool!), after Hull were schooled at home by Man Utd’s youth team, brought into focus an obvious fact: Newcastle, for all their faults, are ten times the club Hull will ever be. Quite how Brown had the gall to grab a microphone and lead chants of “We are staying up, we are staying up!” is beyond my comprehension. His team won one game in their last 20 and narrowly avoided relegation - so how about a bit of dignity, Phil?

In the end, it was Alan Shearer who showed all the dignity, and in defeat. Whatever you think of his grey personality or punditry skills, he genuinely loves Newcastle United, and I’m sure it cuts to the bone that he goes into the history books as the manager who took Newcastle down. It was naive and perhaps egotistical for such an inexperienced coach to take on the job of keeping Newcastle in the Premier League, but I’ve been quite impressed by the way Shearer has conducted himself.
It’s not his fault anyway. As Shearer said in his post-match interview with Match of the Day, Newcastle’s relegation is the result of several years’ worth of bad decisions by the club’s management. The players Shearer had to work with were not good enough, simple as that. What now? I hope Shearer decides to stay on: the Championship is the ideal crucible in which he can develop his managerial skills. But first, the club need to get rid of most of their overpaid mercenaries, men like Geremi who earn around £50,000 a week (What. The. F**k!) – yep, it’s staggering how badly the club has been run. Two words: Dennis Wise. Two more words: Joe Kinnear.
118brownDM0205_468x499.jpgIn the case of Hull City, for as long as the repulsive, Bluetoothed Brown is at the helm (come on, remember that ridiculous team talk out on the pitch? What a dickface), I wish them nothing but painful defeats and relegation next season. Or, as some people are saying this morning: shit club, shit fans.
Damn, I really hoped Newcastle’s misery would give me a warm glow inside, but I will kinda miss them. The Premier League will certainly be a less interesting division without them.

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  1. davo says:

    “Quite how Brown had the gall to grab a microphone and lead chants of “We are staying up, we are staying up!”
    WTF? Oh so they should not have celerbrated staying up. They deserve to stay up more than NUFC.

  2. Boycie says:

    I was just thinking exactly the same thing, watching Brown on Sky Sports News. When watched next to Shearer or, if you’re after a better comparison Davo, Niall Quinn and Ricky Sbragia, Brown came off as the massive twat that he is

  3. Joe says:

    Regardless of Hull and Brown, I’d rather have seen Sunderland go down than Newcastle. No club represents dour, unpleasant and boring football quite like them. Say about Newcastle what you like; that their fans are deluded (not as bad as Tottenham’s though), that their players are rubbish or that their owner looks like Bobby Hill… I’d take all these qualities over the Gordon Brown-esque ‘force’ that is Sunderland.

  4. Jack says:

    I would have preferred anyone else to stay up other than hull, nothing against the place ,people or club in general, its just they have a massive wanker for a manager who has no dignity whatsoever and looks like he belongs in butlins

  5. Oh Hai says:

    I don’t get why you are slating Brown for sing. I’ll give you the fact he is a massive cunt, but because he did the job at the start of the season instead of making it more exciting at the end, he shouldn’t celebrate? The team pulled of some amazing results this season, while Newcastle have been shit through out. I’m glad to see Newcastle go down, and as much as I wanted that cunt Brown to go down, he is well within his right to celebrate.

  6. jeneria says:

    I am more saddened by Borough’s
    relegation. And for reasons I don’t
    fully understand, I really wanted
    Newcastle to go down. It makes no
    sense to me why I dislike them so. They
    are not rivals of my team but I really
    don’t like them all the same.

  7. Pete says:

    Newcastle Boro and West Brom went down because they were the worst teams this season. Sunderland, Hull, Portsmouth et al were not much better but Boycie’s comment about boring football at Sunderland is about as misguided as Newcastle fans thinking that there’s is a big club. What about Wigan, Portsmouth, Blackburn and Bolton? It was hardly heart stirringly, thrill a minute stuff there was it? West Brom played “exciting” football and went down.

  8. Joe says:

    Actually, that was mine Pete. I’m not just talking about the football Sunderland played, everything about them is dull at best and repulsive at worst: Fans, city, players, tactics, managers… All the other clubs you mention at least have some redeeming aspects (Kranjcar, Santa Cruz, Valencia, etc etc) Sunderland are just a big, annoying blank.

  9. g.turnbull says:

    got to remember that p. brown (yes a nob ) is a sunderland fan, hence the celebrations as well as keeping his club up. lets all laugh at shearer. so respect for w. brom yes, mags and boro not….hahahaha lets all laugh at shearer..

  10. g.turnbull says:

    oh and by the way pete who is your team, as if i dont know. maybe a sad little mag hahhaha.please tell me so i can rip the piss. and thanks for the 4 points…lololololol

  11. Gooner says:

    NUFC = pure PANTO! Great entertainment for the whole county! Next scene: NUFC business implosion, finding our Shearer isn’t a capable football manager (by Xmas)sacking him and going down to Div 3! LOL

  12. Tom says:

    As much as Hull may have celebrated on the last day Sunderland’s small time fans have really excelled themselves in non-dignified celebration.
    Sad to say but for most of them their greatest football day will be watching Newcastle go down, most of them will spit venom at their screen reading it but they know it’s true.
    All the Sunderland shirts have come out, putting flags on the Tyne Bridge, Road signs up on the motorway, forgetting they had an appalling season and only narrowly stayed up on 36 points. Mocking Newcastle, a club who at least had title challenges, F.A Cup finals and Champions League football and superior attendances just proves how sad the Sunderland fans can be, two years in the top flight and they think they are Real Madrid.
    In their hearts they know Newcastle as a city, as a support and as an institution will only ever be inferior to Newcastle. They are only famous because of Newcastle and only ever will be.
    Then again a two year spell in the top flight, finishing on 36 points and you go on their forums and they are talking about winning a cup and signing David Beckham.
    Most Newcastle fans are very down to earth and they are full aware they have been utter gash for about 5 years.

  13. Anonymous says:

    What a knob you are

  14. pt09ps says:

    Ok, now mid season. Newcastle at the top of the Championship by quite some way, bringing style and flair to the league. Sunderland, doing better than expected but nothing amazing considering the investment that has been put into the club.

    whatever you may think about NUFC (and I am not a NUFC fan) the fact that more fans go to SJP to watch second tier football than Sunderland fans go to see top tier football says it all. Sunderland is a bland, boring club from a bland boring city. There is no history behind Sunderland at all. Lets not forget it was only 5 years ago when Newcastle looked like likely league champions. And lets not forget history has shown Newcastle to fall badly yet pick themselves up and challenge for the league again. Granted it won’t happen soon but it will happen. If you ask any football man…do you ever envisage Sunderland winning the league, challenging for the league (or even Europe, for that matter) it’ll be a resounding no.

    Boring club, from a boring city with boring fans. Thats Sunderland.

  15. Matthew Walton says:

    After reading the comments above. I think the people who have written them must really have to eat their words. Especially the one just above this one. Something about Sunderland will never even challenge for Europe. Yet another jealous deluded Newcastle fan. The water must have LSD in it up there.

  16. phill browns headset says:

    both teams could go down this season, yet mackems still crow on about challenging for europe. then again most think you need a passport to visit cardiff or swansea so maybe their just confused

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