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Fashion God: Emmanuel Adebayor’s 15 Step Style Guide For The New Season

By Chris Wright


“Hi kids. My name’s Emmanuel, and I’m here to talk to you today about fashion”

In a Pies’ EXCLUSIVE, we’ve managed to get hold of Tottenham striker and recognised footballing fashion behemoth Emmanuel Adebayor and grill him on his style tips for the upcoming season.

He was more than willing to oblige, and hopefully educate a few of you drab, unsophisticated, uncouth fools in the process.

We’ll let Manu take it from here…

1. Let’s start with the basics, shall we? You do what feels right to you. If you want to style an outfit on the bag lady from Home Alone II, then you have my permission to go right ahead!


2. Salutes are a very empowering gesture. Do them boldly and often…


 3. The fashion-conscious gentleman should never be afraid to accessorize with whatever he has to hand…


4. Mick Hucknall is a style icon and always will be. Remember that.


5. I’m a registered socks offender, and proud of it…


6. Your hair is a canvas, paint with it…


7. Always travel light. A gentleman should never feel bogged down at the airport..


8. It is imperative that you colour co-ordinate with your breakfast. Don’t ask why – that’s just the rule.


9. If Windy Miller can rock the sh*t out of a baby blue moomoo, then why the hell shouldn’t you?


10. Remember: A gentleman without his cane is no gentleman at all. Observe…


11. Been crapped on by a pigeon on the red carpet? Rock that sh*t baby! Literally!


12. Even when attempting to contact Argos customer services, it’s important to remain elegant…


13. Whoever said “less is more” was a coward. More is always Adebay-more…


14. Spend time working on and perfecting your “Blue Steel” face (see below). You never know when it might just save your life…


15. The most important rule of all, dear friends: Ridicule is nothing to be scared of…


Peace out.

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By Chris on August 13th, 2014 in Featured, Funnies, Kits & fashion, Newsnow, Top 10s & lists, Tottenham Hotspur. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Fashion God: Emmanuel Adebayor’s 15 Step Style Guide For The New Season”

  1. EDub says:

    This needs a warning at the top for people who are susceptible to seizures.

  2. SA says:

    16 have a YES man with you at all times

  3. Jarren says:

    The Argos one cracked me up!

  4. Harry Catknapp says:

    No. 7 – You can see the utter misery in that guys eyes at having to deal with the high maintenance demands of Adebayor as he jets off on holiday,and our Emmanuel couldn’t give the slightest fuck.

  5. Boom says:

    It’s like 15 shit-look-alikes in one post. Well done. I suppose some are just “shit-looks” since not all have a side by side comparison.

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