By Chris Wright
Excuse us while Pies go all ‘Veruca Salt’ for a while, but here are ten of the rumoured transfers that have been doing the rounds for the last few weeks that we demand to see materialise during the coming summer…
1. Alessandro Del Piero – Juventus to Arsenal/Tottenham: Done and dusted at Juventus after 19 years of unwavering idolisation, Del Piero has probably already received his fair share of tempting offers to go and wind-down to retirement in an affluent footballing backwater somewhere in exchange for £500,000 a week – though the man himself has openly flirted with the idea of one last hurrah in Europe.
The dirty flirt won’t say yes or no, but while the option is still alive we’ll be crossing everything that he’s tempted Premier League-wards for a year. At 37, he’s older than several Johnny-come-lately glaciers, but we – having suckled on the Football Italia teet from an early age – would love nothing more than to see Del Piero in the wild up close, even if he only manages a smattering of games before his legs seize up.
2. Yakubu – Blackburn to Sunderland: As soon as Blackburn were mathematically jettisoned, we received a vision telling us that The Yak would be grazing on Wearside next year. Think about it, it just seems RIGHT don’t it?
3. Raul to Man Utd: Having left Schalke a hero with 27 goals in 63 games, it would appear our plea is too late as he’s already signed up for a cushy final fling out in Qatar with Al-Sadd, but we desperately longed for Raul to move to the Premier League for a season – perhaps following Henrik Larsson’s lead and joining Manchester United on a freebie, making them instantly better as a result.
Is it too late for a U-turn? Sadly, yeah – but that won’t stop us demanding.
4. Yaya Toure – Man City to Real Madrid: His agent has been shit-stirring since the final whistle against QPR and the gossip columns have been frantically churning out potential suitors, but Yaya himself (while visiting Eric Abidal in Barcelona) has now apparently told Spanish press: “I can’t say anything about Real Madrid. I’ll have to wait and see what happens, Mourinho has not called me yet,” which is ominous to say the least. In certain, more excitable circles, that would just about be enough to represent a ‘come and get me’ plea.
The logistics are simple: Real Madrid have a lot of money, a lot of ‘draw’ and don’t really have a stellar central midfielder to play alongside Xabi Alonso – kitting their squad out with a rampaging Yaya will make Real fearsome .
They may not be willing to pay him ‘Man City’ wages, but the lure of the prestige will make up for that. For you see, for all the horn-tooting, the Premier League is still just a stepping stone to the really big leagues.
5. Shinji Kagawa – Borussia Dortmund to Man Utd: Dortmund’s diminutive Japanese schemer has already met Sir Alex and the deal looks like a go-er – and it’s one we’re really quite excited about.
Having excelled while pulling