Rejoice all ye faithful, for a new rap song has been born unto the world written in tribute to Borussia Dortmund goal-machine Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.
In fact, the song, entitled simply ‘Aubameyang’, has been produced by the striker’s brother, Felix (who trades under the spooky pseudonym ‘Ghost St.’).
The accompanying video is mostly filmed outside the Westfalenstadion and stars both our eponymous hero and his Dortmund cohort Marco Reus mincing around like a proper pair of charlies.
The lyrics, as translated by ESPN FC, are nothing short of a triumph:
Black and Yellow, it’s not Versace, Versace, Borussia Dortmund. We arrive in the club. Golden watch, golden chain, golden ball. Everything’s golden, brother.
We’re not sheikhs. Us, what we want to do is to sign cheques.
Hit the top corner, Aubame-bang-bang.
(Chorus): Enjoy the sound of victory… we’re not just passing through, we want to go down in history.
You can watch my name — on the wall. Happy New Year — golden ball. Aubameyang! Make some noise. Every week, three goals.
Yep.
Feel free to have a listen to ‘Aubameyang’, but be warned: it is something of a death knell for all music…
Told you.