By Chris Wright
1.) A goal down against Hannover, Wolfsburg midfielder Diego tumbles in the area and wins his side an 80th-minute penalty.
2.) Diego then wrestles the ball away from Wolfsburg manager Steve McClaren’s designated penalty taker – namely deadline day signing Patrick Helmes – as the Brazilian is unsure of who Helmes actually is.
3.) Diego duly crashes the spot-kick off the crossbar and has the temerity to claim it bounced over the line, despite the ball actually re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere somewhere over Leipzig.
4.) A furious McClaren corners Diego in the dressing room and fines him to the tune of €100,000 (£86,000) for failing to follow instructions, also informing him that he will removed from the first team for Wolfsburg’s upcoming game against Hamburg.
5.) McClaren travels home to England after his Wolfsburg superiors decide to bring a premature end to his eight-month tenure at the Bundesliga side, at a cost of £2.5 million in contractual compensation.
Lawdamussy, that’s one hell of an expensive penalty miss!