Andy Carroll’s New House Is As Tastefully Decorated As You Might Expect (Photos)

Chris Wright

3rd, January 2015


By Chris Wright


Andy Carroll and his other half, Billi Mucklow (something to do with that ‘Everybody Loves Essex’ thing), have been busy showing off their new house of late, posting a series of photos across their respective Instagrams of the chintzy abode they now share.

Tastefully decorated in classic ‘Stephen Ireland‘ style, Carroll’s gaff is a vision of horrendous, epilepsy-inducing neon pink gaudiness.

They got mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice…


They are all just prisoners here, of their own device…


And in the master’s chamber they gather for the feast…


They stab it with their steely knives but they just can’t kill the beast…


Last thing I remember, I was running for the door, I had to find the passage back to the place I was before…


“Relax,” said the night man, “We are programmed to receive…”


“You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!”

Taste be damned, thy have no place here.

Now if you’ll excuse us, Pies needs to take a Nurofen or five.

(Photos: billimucklow/andytcarroll/Instagram)

Posted in Featured, Funnies, Newsnow, Photos, West Ham Utd

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  1. Lady B says:

    The “matching hairdos on the bed” one made me cringe the most :/

  2. Jimmy says:

    I have always wondered what Chav Heaven looks like, and now I know.

  3. Jarren says:

    It’s his house, he can do what he wants with it.

    Taste, eh?

    I hate goat’s cheese. Makes me gag.

    Others love it.

  4. Lady B says:

    There’s also the old saying “Money can’t buy taste”. Ah well, if they’re happy with it. And none of us have to live with it!

  5. Ron says:

    Ah yes, one more example that pro athletes are a) not the smart b) have terrible fashion sense.

    I’m just horrified that these two idiots thought it was a good idea to share these photos. If you like a fucking clown house, fine. But why prove to the public that you’re both twats?

    So much for class and taste.

  6. Chris H says:

    George Best called and wants his house back….

  7. TravisKOP says:

    captions are the icing on the cake with this article, well done!

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