Union Comercio Continue To Be Peru’s Most Slapstick Team, Keeper Given Three-Year Prison Sentence For Biting Man’s Ear Off

Chris Wright

4th, September 2013

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By Chris Wright

The name Union Comercio has come up several times in Pies’ FAIL section over the past couple of weeks, as Peru’s most hapless club continue to serve up piping platters of hickory-smoked LOLZ and generally stinking up the place with their masterful ineptitude by conceding brilliant own-goals left, right and centre, seeing former players forced into making 900km return journeys just to play five seconds of court-ordered football for them and watching on helplessly as their veteran keeper gifts goals to opposing strikers by acting the giddy goat in the penalty area.

It should therefore come as no surprise that Union currently sit rock bottom of the Peruvian Primera Division, five points adrift and looking best-placed to get themselves relegated when the league concludes in December.

It couldn’t possibly get any worse for Union right? WRONGO BUDDY-O, for aforementioned veteran goalkeeper, Juan “Chiquito” Flores landed himself with a three-year suspended prison yesterday after being found guilty of biting a man’s ear in a nightclub in Huanaco last year.

Flores, 37, was also ordered to pay approx £2,300 in damages to his victim and undergo some form of community service programme.

Whatever will those crazy Union cats do next? All we can say is: stay tuned!

(Via Dirty Tackle)