New Brazil Coach Dunga Will Not Accept Branded Hats, Dyed Hair Or Crying On His Watch

Chris Wright

29th, July 2014


By Chris Wright

Soccer - Dunga File Photo

Like a cigar-chewing, crew-cutted drill sergeant, new Brazil coach Dunga has been laying down the law to his Selecao, indirectly informing the likes of Dani Alves and Neymar that flouncy crap like dyed hair, branded baseball caps and crying will no longer be permitted on his watch.

Speaking to Globo (via Sambafoot), Dunga outlined his new, less airy-fairy; more militant vision for the Brazilian national team, beginning with the thorny issue of letting players dye their hair during a major international tournament.

“I would not have permitted them to dye their hair while with the national team at the World Cup,” Dunga ranted.

“Do it before, or do it after, but not when you should be thinking about the World Cup.”

Dunga then turned his attention to the NJR-branded caps that Neymar chose to wear during several press conferences at the World Cup.

“Either you where a Brazil hat, or you don’t wear a hat at all.”

Then came the issue of the hideous faux-mourning of Neymar after his tournament was ended by a back injury: the “Forca Neymar” caps and t-shirts, the weird outpouring of grief, etc.

“The message transmitted was: we have lost a soldier.

“But if you go to war you cannot be crying about the loss of one solider – you must give strength to the solider who takes his place.”

And last but not least, his national team will not be allowed to cry, because crying is for girls.

“A crying scene like the match against Chile is negative in a world such as football. We are macho, sexist, and we have this idea that men do not cry.”

Things are about to get fun in Brazil, and we’re talking “Roy Keane” fun.

Posted in Hardmen, International football, Managers, Newsnow, World Cup

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  1. Nick says:

    I have a suspicion that the last quote may have been taken out of context. It’s actually hard to work out what he’s saying- unless it’s he approves of football being sexist? I think he may be complaining about the “macho, sexist” attitude that football has.

    • Chris says:

      @Nick: I think he means Brazil need to be more “sexist” in terms of not playing like a bunch of little frilly-knickered girlies.

  2. Chris says:

    I like this lad already
    I found the tournament a little bit too metro for my liking.

    I dont subscribe that Brazil has to be this super flair acrobatic super flick ‘Mexico 70 mark IV’. They end up trying to hard and fluff their lines just like the model that England keeps using.
    They should look at the way the Germans play, effortlessly crapping on all before them (excluding Algeria).

  3. Jarren says:

    yeah, women are for fucking and that is all!

    let’s kick a ball into the net, like it was a pussy.

    For real?

  4. Bigrat says:

    D@mn Jarred, that comment is so wrong it has become right. Laughed my @rse off…

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