‘I’ve Signed For A Football Team’ – Usain Bolt Underwhelms The World With Big Soccer Aid 2018 Announcement

Chris Wright

27th, February 2018

3 Comments

Photo: @masandawana/Twitter

Usain Bolt sent a wave of anticipation across the more gullible plains of social media yesterday when he announced that he’d signed for a football team and that we’d all find out just which one at 8am on Tuesday morning.

Having trained with Borussia Dortmund and openly begged for Manchester United trials in the past, it’s fair to say that everybody(ish) was on tenterhooks(ish).

The Olympic sprinter then stoked the fires by posing for a few photos wearingΒ Mamelodi Sundowns training kit, only to underwhelm the waiting world when the time came for the big reveal…

Yep. The Jamaican will be captaining the ‘Rest of the World’ team at this year’s Soccer Aid match, taking on an esteemed footballing mantle previously occupied by Gordon Ramsey and actor Michael Sheen.

All hype and what we’re actually being treated to is Bolt sprinting in straight lines on a football pitch while plasticine pop star Olly Murs does his best to keep up and Jonathan Wilkes emerges from obscuro-stasis to take it all far too seriously… again.

Pass.

Posted in International football

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3 Comments

  1. Adam says:

    Jeez.. its just a bit of fun for charity, he did well in hyping it up to get the word out. The more of these things the better I say.

  2. gamblino says:

    Jonathan WIlkes :-DDD

  3. Jarren says:

    Ye of little faith, Chris!

    Bolt’s gonna do Chun Li’s spinning bird kick 35 yards out, connecting sweetly in full flight with the ball banging right in off the post-stamp.

    IN YER FACE, DOUBTERS

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