10 Years Of Filthy And Fury: Pepe Set To Leave Real Madrid, Here Are His Greatest Hits


Pepe has confirmed that he will be bidding farewell to Real Madrid this summer after spending the last 10 years studding shins and feigning headbutts for Los Blancos.

With PSG, AC Milan and a couple of clubs in England reportedly hovering, the 34-year-old Portuguese centre-half has today emitted a statement via Instagram to confirm that he will indeed be moving on to pastures new this summer.

So with a decade-long era of filth and fury drawing to a close, Pies thought we’d compile a customary ‘Best Of’ album to wish Pepe well on his travels…

Track 1: Kick (Or Headbutt) Him When He’s Down

Track 2: Synchronicity

Track 3: You Always Hurt The One You Love

Track 4: Spitting Games

Track 5: Dreadlock Holiday


Track 6: Where It Hurts

Track 7: Blowout


Track 8: I Wanna Stamp On Your Hand

Track 9: You Always Hurt The One You Love (Reprise)

Track 10: Going Loco (On Javi Casquero)

Yep. The man’s an absolute loon.

Also available from Pies Records…

Emmanuel Eboue: The Essential Collection
Mick McCarthy: The Greatest Hits

Nemanja Vidic: The Very Best Of…
Jimmy Bullard: Golden Greats

Posted in Hardmen, Injuries, Newsnow, Real Madrid, Top 10s & lists, Videos

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  1. Cut-Through-The-Fog says:

    Pepe has received ZERO straight red cards in his entire league career. Sergio Ramos has received 6. Pepe has received 69 yellow cards. Ramos has received 146. Pepe has only received a second yellow send off 3 times. Ramos has received 11. Pepe is a true defending legend for those that understand the game and don’t follow the popular narrative. He lost his temper with a diver in 2009, stamped on him and was punished. That was 8 years ago.

    In 82 appearances for Portugal, he has received 1 red card for yelling in Muller’s face after an embarrassing dive. In 84 appearances in the Champions League he has received 1 red card for a late tackle. Pretty disappointing for an “animal”. He has the most unfair reputation in the history of football.

    • Olivier says:

      What do you think of the 9 videos and photos that are juuust above your comment then?

    • Olivier says:

      If I were a Pepe fan like you are, I’d just feel lucky that the bloke is still allowed to set foot on a football pitch. And Ramos isn’t exactly clean either you know, I’m not sure he’s the best defender you could compare Pepe to.

    • Nuno says:

      Must be hard to be that delusional… (or you are Pepe himself trying to save face) I’ll just state that the last kick against Getafe was a League game, so already you are lying in your first sentence. You can see it is a straight red. Won’t bother to fact check more. He didn’t receive more because the refs didn’t see. The stomp on Messi hand should have been another straight red. And just because you compare him with a butcher, doesn’t make him good. He has a few loose screws up there. Period.

    • el duderino says:

      that’s just statistics, man.
      and we all know that “statistics is like a bikini – shows everything, reveals nothing.”
      (serbian pundit, zvonko mihajlovski)

    • Maria says:

      You need to check your facts. The sending off for the foul on Muller was a straight red (yes, he’d already collected a yellow, but he wasn’t shown a 2nd yellow then a red, he was shown a straight red) as was his card against Dani Alvez in the CL.

      Also, saying he’s not as dirty as Ramos doesn’t mean he’s not dirty. Pepe is a disgusting footballer the likes of which we don’t need.

    • He's delusional says:

      You’re bloody deluded. You’re like the politicians that willfully ignore anything that contradicts their narrative.

      No one, anywhere, with any semblance of a consciousness, could describe Pepe as anything other than a blight on humanity. Massive cunt.

  2. the wolf says:

    Pepe is utterly classless, and his career has been an embarrassment to the sport.
    His reputation is twice as good as he deserves.

  3. Jamie says:

    Pepe and Ramos are both a disgrace to football.

  4. Bebe says:

    That last clip has Pepe receiving a straight red you numpty

  5. Archer says:

    Not sure what you’re getting at by comparing Pepe with Ramos – they’re both average players at best that should thank their lucky stars that they’ve ever managed to don the white shirt of Madrid.

  6. Manroe says:

    Madrid will always be portrayed negatively (arrogant, animal, etc) Barcelona always saint-like.

    • He's delusional says:

      Real assault other clubs. Barca fall over at the slightest breeze. Both are a disgrace to the sport. Get off your bloody high horse.

  7. Bruno says:

    He won’t be missed.

  8. alligator22 says:

    He’s got an awful lot of trophies. I’d have him in my squad any day.

    • Archer says:

      Gary Neville has got a cupboard full of medals, but he was only a pretty average player in a great team.

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