Pies’ Summer 2013 Transfer Deadline Day Winners And Losers

Chris Wright

3rd, September 2013


By Chris Wright

Now that Sky Sports News have taken the batteries out of Jim White, bubble-wrapped him back up and placed him back in his box for another year, we thought we’d take stock of just what the bloody hell went down on Deadline Day™: who came out of it on top and who came out of it looking like massive soddin’ chumps.

The Winners…

Soccer - Mesut Ozil File Photo

1. Arsenal: Fair play to the Gunners; they came through in the end. Seems like all is rosy in the garden once again because Arsenal spent a small fortune bringing in one (admittedly very good) player in Mesut Ozil. Isn’t it funny how a single grandiose marquee signing is enough to satisfy even the most venomously frustrated football fan?


2. Everton: Roberto Martinez and Bill Kenwright weighed in with a flurry of extremely promising signings in Romelu Lukaku, Gareth Barry and James McCarthy – as ridiculously over-priced as the latter may have been. A quick glance at The Toffees’ freshly vamped squad reveals them to now be in the possession of some envious young talent (Deulofeu, McCarthy, Barkley, Lukaku, etc) though their coup of the day must be that they somehow managed to extract £6million from West Brom in exchange for Victor Anichebe. Unbe-bloody-leivable!

3. Jonathan Barnett: i.e, Gareth Bale’s “Mr 15%”. You sir, just made yourself a very rich man. Kudos.

Soccer - Harry Redknapp File Photo

4. Harry Redknapp: As if QPR’s squad wasn’t already far too good for the Championship, ‘Arry went and added Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Tom Carroll and Niko Kranjcar on deadline day. The bastard.


5. Martin Allen: The Gillingham manager absolutely stole the show when he one-upped Harry “Range Rover window” Redknapp by conducting a deadline day interview with SSN from atop his bicycle seat. The fact that his training garb was adorned with “M A R T” rather than his initials just topped the whole delightful tableau off perfectly.

* * * * *

The Worst…


1. Manchester United: After a day spent faffing over a vastly-overrated Basque midfielder, United ended the evening with Marouane Fellaini, on whom they conspired to spend £27.5million – roughly a full £4million more than they could have had him for if they’d bothered triggering his Everton release clause four weeks ago. The mocking crowd called it a farce and it’s hard to disagree.

Ed Woodward

2. Ed Woodward: The Manchester United CEO (who replaced David Gill a few months ago) is coming in for a battering today after spending the entire summer low-balling every single one of the club’s transfer targets (see the Fellaini fiasco), thoroughly aggravating all of his potential clients and ending the window with pretty much zippo to report.

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Aston Villa v West Bromwich Albion - Villa Park

3. Shane Long: Told he was free to leave by West Brom after finding himself the subject of a £5million bid from Hull, Long had to chase up special permission and leave Ireland’s training camp for the day in order to fly to the North East to hold talks with The Tigers only to then be told in mid-air that he wouldn’t be allowed to leave The Hawthorns after all when the club missed out on a planned loan deal for Lukaku. Still, those Frequent Flyer Miles are going to add up one day.

4. Newcastle: Err, guys…think you forgot to do something fairly important yesterday. Transfers.

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Newcastle United v West Ham United - St James' Park

5. Joe Kinnear, Newcastle director of football and top, top, triffic transfer geezer: Apparently no-one remembered to remind the former five-time Manager of the Year that a transfer window was bought in a few years ago. Need we remind you of J-F**KING-K’s blustering, self-fluffing quote on his arrival at Newcastle:

“I can open the door to any football manager in the world, anyone. That’s the difference. I spend my whole life, picking up the phone, talking to Alex Ferguson, week in, week out. I can pick the phone up and speak to any manager in the league, any manager in all divisions.”

What a gimmer.

6. Special “loser” recognition for any of the gormless cretins who flocked to gurn and make “wanker” signs behind a Sky Sports News reporter at any point yesterday.

What say you Pies fan? Agree/Disagree? Got any winners/losers of your own you’d like to share?

Posted in Featured, Newsnow, Opinion, Top 10s & lists, Transfers & Rumours

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  1. Tony D says:

    Lol @ calling Everton a winner man. Losing their best player in afro Fellaini and getting in two ordinairies in McCarthy and Barry + a loan signing ain’t very good man.

  2. Glenn says:

    “Could of”? Oh pies, I expected much better from you!

  3. Chris says:

    @Glenn: We’re pleading insanity.

  4. bestie says:

    Hate to say this, but Man Sh!tty did some good biz: signed some talented players and dumped stiffs like Toure and Barry

  5. dave shannon says:

    pies losers themselves for number 3,shane long heading to hull or the north east? which was it??

  6. BigDunc says:

    The top 3 spots at least for ‘winners’ should be Bale’s agents for how full their pockets are now! And I cannot believe we actually got money for Anichebe!! SIX. MILLION. BRITISH. POUNDS. hahaha! – whats that, one million for every career goal, or one pound for every chance he needs before scoring? (That news alone is ALMOST, ALMOST enough to wash away half the pain of buying every championship-standard Wigan player and being stuck with a manager who will be doing cartwheels for anything above a 16th place finish).

  7. SL says:

    Surprised you did Redknapp/QPR. Normally you dont do anything outside the PL.

  8. Steve says:

    Please use google maps to find out where Hull is and you just answer your question.

  9. Adam says:

    In the current market is mccarthy really that over priced? If so can you show me another British or Irish player who had made over 100 appearances for a premiership club, represents his country, has won some (proper) silverware and is still just 22…for less than 12million???

    Henderson, Joe Allen, etc all cost way more. in a few years the deal may be described as a cracker if he’s as good as martinez claims

  10. Wilson says:

    The picture chosen for Shane Long, priceless.

  11. Wim Doomed says:

    FFS… Anichebe was bought for £3m paid up front rising to £6m with performance-related bonuses, which, if you think he’s so shit, prolly ain’t gonna get them bonuses is he? .

    Shane Long didn’t go to Hull ‘cos they couldn’t even know how much money they actually had… turns out their bid was pulled ‘cos they couldn’t afford their own offer!

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