Tottenham Fan Reports Paulinho’s Unwarranted £30k Pay Rise To Barclays Bank As ‘Fraudulent Activity’

Chris Wright

27th, June 2015


By Chris Wright

After contributing the square root of Sweet Fanny Adams to the cause since Corinthians somehow managed to milk £17million out of Tottenham for him in 2013, Paulinho is now currently on the verge of completing a move to Guangzhou Evergrande, the Chinese Super League side managed by Phil Scolari.

The news has come as a blessed relief to most Spurs fans, who simply seem glad to finally see the Brazilian wage hoover being stuck from their books.

However, having noted that Paulinho’s move to Evergrande also reportedly involves a massively unwarranted £30,000-a-week wage hike (from £60,000-a-week up to £90,000), one dilligent Tottenham fan by the name of Billie did the right thing and reported the ‘suspect activity’ to Barclays bank – the principal sponsor of the Premier League…



Trollolololol, as the kids almost undoubtedly don’t say any more.

Posted in Funnies, Newsnow, Tottenham Hotspur, Transfers & Rumours

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  1. WHL says:

    Fans ,like you are a disgrace to THFC. No one like a grass

  2. billie_is_a_girls_name says:

    wow, i bet ricky gervais and billy connolly are shaking in their boots at losing their crown of britain’s top comedy men. just in case anyone fully doesn’t understand the exceptional level of hilarity tweeted by this oscar wilde reincarnate allow me to explain: see Paulinho has been playing badly but somehow got a pay rise when he went to a new club, and billie the quick-witted genius thought this was so strange -nay, utter madness- that he informed barclays (who are a bank) that it might constitute fraud because he just couldn’t make head nor tail of how such a thing could happen in the world of modern sport. (fraud/banks/bizarre goings on – you see what he did there?!?). what a guy! what a legend! what a time to be alive!

  3. SK says:

    class comment man! time well served! maybe you and Billie should team up

  4. Nicola says:

    @billie_is_a_girls_name come on, it is funny, not as funny as Guangzhou´s transfer policy, but still funny

  5. Alfie says:

    Oh please fucking grow up the pair of you. Paulinho has been toilet since he joined us. The tweeter has a sense of humour unlike you two. I find it quite funny and there are far worse things in this world to get upset about.

  6. Neil #2 says:

    not very funny and a little obnoxious taking up time of Barclay’s — even if it’s on Twitter.

  7. Jarren says:

    @SG: Indeed.

    Did IQs just drop sharply while I was away?

  8. Twattenham Shitstir says:

    Chewy, hand me the hydrospanner…

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