By Chris Wright
Up there with Scott Dann rupturing a testicle in the gruesome injury stakes, here’s River Plate’s Leo Ponzio bursting his bum grapes during a game against Boca Unidos in the Argentinian second tier last night…
(Warning: this, as you may have already guessed, does not make for particularly enjoyable viewing)
Christ almighty.
Said Ponzio, who was made to change his shorts thrice during the match:
“[When the haemorrhoids burst] I did not think about going off. I felt the blood, but I didn’t find myself flailing. It happened to a friend of mine and he was fine.
“It was weird what happened to me, because I had spent a week in which I had eaten well. In the meantime I had been fine, but after a move that threw me to the ground I opened myself more than usual and I started to feel the blood. I felt that something had broken.”
Horrible, just horrible. Now go, enjoy your breakfast and forget all about this nasty business. Maybe have a spot of toast and jam? Grape jam?
Video: Bob’s Blitz