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Champions League: Udinese 1-2 Arsenal – Worst…Match Report…Ever (Photos & Highlights)

By Chris Wright

Hands up, I watched the game in the boozer last night and, in direct correlation, can remember next to nothing about the match save isolated moments of semi-lucid clarity – though the order is a little hazy.

Here are my ‘notes’, verbatim…

“Di Natale’s forward roll was nice touch, SHOULD ALLOW DI NATALE’S OFFSIDE VOLLEY TO STAND ON QUALITY CONTROL GROUNDS, worrying that Vermaelen had broken again when he lay slumped on the touchline.

“Woodwork, woodwork again.

“Handanovic double save, Di Natale scores good header (’39) for a dwarf – actually, he’s not that short for an Italian.

“Walcott should try not being a timid deer on an icy lake, RVP goal (’55) exposes grey hair. Szczczczczczesny’s incredible penalty save (head too big for body? it matters little) Woodwork. Walcott scores! (’69) That’s better Bambi!”

How’s that for a match report? Yep, it’s the pits.

The main point to take home is that Arsenal won 3-1 on aggregate and therefore booked themselves a place in the Champions League group stage, with the draw set to take place later this afternoon.

Photos (click thumbs for larger images)…

Highlights (catch them while you can)…

Photos: PA

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Posted in Arsenal, Champions League, Photos, Videos | 9 Comments »

By Chris on August 25th, 2011 in Arsenal, Champions League, Photos, Videos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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9 Responses to “Champions League: Udinese 1-2 Arsenal – Worst…Match Report…Ever (Photos & Highlights)”

  1. Chris T says:
    August 25, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Can all your match reports take this form now Chris? I love it!

  2. Chris says:
    August 25, 2011 at 10:28 am

    I suppose it could be my ‘gimmick’. Not sure if my liver could stand it though!

  3. Nick says:
    August 25, 2011 at 10:57 am

    This ‘match report’ reminds me enormously of the diary I kept whilst performing the ‘Berko challenge’ with my former housemate, a pint in all 12 pubs down the Berkhamsted high st whilst watching the football. It was littered with nuggets that I couldn’t decipher the next morning, such as
    ‘You are not psychic just because you guessed Michael Twiss in 20 questions’

    and

    ‘I just don’t know where Jeremy Goss is these days’.

  4. Chris says:
    August 25, 2011 at 11:19 am

    @Nick: Honest to goodness, you just made me do a little LOL.

  5. vvzla says:
    August 25, 2011 at 11:50 am

    great stuff! nice to see youve had a good time watching.

  6. Madjair says:
    August 25, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    Haha, by no means the worst match report ever!

  7. Papi says:
    August 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    This match was broacasted during the day here. Had I done this match report I would have been wasted at about 12 pm. Not a bad way to start the day.

  8. Red Peter says:
    August 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    I think this is just about the most insightful match report I’ve ever read.

  9. Patrick says:
    August 26, 2011 at 1:00 am

    That. was. amazing.

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