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Who ate all the pies

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MLS

Do you think Landycakes would be a hit at Everton?

MLS star heading to Goodison

‘Moisture is the essence of weakness…’

Why does Becks look so gaunt and knackered?

Look at Becks go!

“I knew MLS had some Mickey Mouse clubs, but this is ridiculous.” Even without all of their star players and playing away from home, Barcelona were good enough to crush one of MLS’s better teams, namely Seattle Sounders FC. Lionel Messi scored twice in an individual masterclass, as Seattle had no answer to the European […]

Shaq has been calling out Becks on Twitter. On July 29, the LA Lakers star Tweeted: “Its official, today is david beckham is scared of shaq, day, he should b scared, he can never score a goal on me,” Nice grammar there Shaq. Now Shaq has challenged Beckham, in a video captured by gossip website […]

Congratulations to Richard Wilkinson of Waterlooville, who wins a hardback copy of Grant Wahl’s “The Beckham Experiment”. Richard was the only Pies reader to correctly identify all three Man Utd players: 1. Paul Scholes 2. Teddy Sheringham 3. Clayton Blackmore Quite a few of you got two out of three. For example, regular Baller David […]

David Beckham is still being booed by some Galaxy fans but he went some way to winning back their hearts by scoring a terrific free-kick in a friendly against Barcelona at the weekend. The goal wasn’t enough to prevent a Barca victory though; the European champions won out thanks to goals by Pedro “Pedrito” Rodriguez […]

As we reported earlier, Becks is back with the LA Galaxy. Check out our gallery of the England star in action (includes male toplessness)… Click on the image to launch the gallery:

How dare you, America! Becks was booed by a small section of fans during last night’s friendly between LA Galaxy and NT Red Bulls. No biggie though - the boos were to be expected, and it was hardly the cacophony you’d hear reserved for the likes of Emmanuel Eboue and Ashley Cole. As for the game, […]

I don’t remember the Backstreet Boys having this many members. [Photo: PA] At ESPN’s annual sports awards (like the Oscars for sport in the States), the US men’s national team won the ‘Upset’ award, for their overperformance at the 2009 Confederations Cup. It’s a good sign that ‘soccer’ is starting to edge into the mainstream […]

Danny Dichio now plays for Toronto FC in MLS. He is a cult hero of Toronto’s fans, much as he was at QPR, Sunderland and indeed most of the clubs he’s played for. That’s how Danny rolls - fans love his whole-hearted play, which he combines with a large dollop of humility. He’s made the most […]

Becks is back in training for LA Galaxy. Here he faces the usual array of media microphones. [Photo: PA] Yesterday Dave had his first training session with the Galaxy, after returning from his loan spell in Milan. His public feud with team-mate Landon Donovan was the issue on every reporter’s lips, but Becks claimed that […]

OK, this is shit, but shit meaning good - Landycakes needs bigger hair and a meaner glare, but he’s not far off. And any time I can squeeze a pixelated game character into Shit Lookalikes, I leap at the chance. If you’ve never played Dragon Ball Z, there’s more on Vegata here. Got any more videogame […]

The USA has never lost a group match in the history of the CONCACAF Gold Cup. That record was severely tested by Haiti this weekend, when only a brilliant Stuart Holden strike in injury time saved the pre-tournament favourites from an embarrassing defeat. Highlights of the 2-2 draw below: Despite the draw, the Haitians still […]

Funny that Brian Ching, the first footballer we featured in our new series, Footballers Who Tweet, is now in a spot of trouble thanks to the social networking site. Ching Tweeted the following message yesterday, immediately after Houston Dynamo lost 2-1 to Seattle Sounders: Why was Ching so incensed? The ref had allowed a goal […]

Exhibit A: ‘Soccer is a reason to riot.’ ‘I don’t hate, I relate.’ ‘Soccer still ranks somwhere between World’s Strongest Man and professional poker.’ If you see Jim Rome in the street - he’s the one with the douchebag goatee - don’t let me stop you from throwing your pre-bagged urine sack in his smug face. He’s […]

Landycakes has stood up to be counted. In an explosive quote from Grant Wahl’s new book, ‘The Beckham Experiment’, the US midfielder reveals a shocking level of emnity and resentment towards Golden Balls. Get a load of this: “All that we care about at a minimum is that he [Beckham] committed himself to us. As […]

On Twitter, the Houston Dynamo striker styles himself as “an active guy who loves to surf and who plays soccer for a living. Can’t complain.” The Chingster’s positive attitude makes a refreshing change from many Prem stars, who don’t seem to know they’re born. Plus he Tweets regularly, on all manner of subjects. Sample Tweets […]

I’m in two minds about the very real possibility of the US of A becoming a major force in world football in the next decade. This summer’s Confed Cup has shown that America has the potential to compete with the likes of Brazil and Spain, and although I still think they have no chance to […]

Chad Marshall is a defender for Columbus Crew. John C Reilly is a character actor - you might recognise him from his fine work in such movies as Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Step Brothers, The Gangs of New York, Hard Eight, Talladega Nights and Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Thanks to Harrington Weihl for the tip. […]