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‘Whoever It Is, Heads Will Roll!’ – Pep Guardiola Vows To Silence Bayern Munich’s Little ‘Mole Problem’

By Chris Wright

Czech Republic Soccer Champions League

“Here moley, moley, moley…”

Rumours of a mole within the Bayern Munich camp have persisted for a good while but it has come to light today that the rumours are indeed true, and that a member of Bayern’s squad has been feeding line-ups and tactics to the Bild newspaper.

It’s being reported that Pep Guardiola went ballistic in the dressing room before Saturday’s Der Klassiker fixture against Dortmund, with the Bayern coach quoted as yelling at his players: “Whoever it is, heads will roll. I’m going to throw that person out and he will never play under me!”

These quotes, of course, coming via Bild.

However, the story has been fleshed out by n0ne other than Bayern’s chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, who has admitted that Pep is training behind closed doors in a desperate bid for privacy while also vowing to do his level best to root out and silence the club’s mole once and for all, telling Sky Sports:

“Of course something like this is not to Pep Guardiola’s liking. The coach is training behind closed doors at times for a reason and it’s obvious that it’s not something which pleases anybody. Somebody clearly thinks they’re gaining an advantage through revealing information.

“We’re not going to consult with the NSA (National Security Agency) to find out via the United States who it is, but I would advise whoever it is to stop or else they’re going to get in really big trouble, not only with Pep but with the whole club.”

Anyone else think the mole’s name might rhyme with “Schtummenigge”?


Time to go all “Diagnosis: Murder”, Pies fans! With the evidence presented (i.e, absolutely nothing other than this photo of KHR looking decidedly shifty), who do you think is Bayern’s tittle-tattlin’ media mole?

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By Chris on November 25th, 2013 in Bundesliga, FAIL, Managers, Media, Newsnow. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

11 Responses to “‘Whoever It Is, Heads Will Roll!’ – Pep Guardiola Vows To Silence Bayern Munich’s Little ‘Mole Problem’”

  1. Al says:

    For a minute there I was thinking, jesus that good looking lad who used to play for Liverpool has aged at a ridiculous rate

  2. AP says:

    I can hear Klopp now: “Well done, agent Götze. Return to base.”

  3. Anabelle says:

    Javi Martinez.

    Exhibit A: After the signed for Bayern, he was caught trying to sneak into Bilbao’s locker room to casually “retrieve” his favorite pair of boots.

  4. dc says:

    If we’re basing it on whomever looks the most “shifty,” Monsieur Fronk Ribery is a dead ringer, no?

  5. LMAO says:

    Love the NSA dig he through in there.

  6. TravisKOP says:

    nice little jab on the NSA from KHR 8/10. maybe it is Gotze, could also be shaqiri, angry at losing playing time

  7. Cpt. Obvious says:

    It’s Lahm. He has always been that swot kind of guy. Running to his “friends” at the newspaper and telling them everything.
    He’s probably scared they’ll release some “shocking” news about him, if he doesn’t cooperate.

  8. stephdeg says:

    It has to be Holger Backstabber.

  9. Matt Roberts says:

    Pep should give each player a different version of the team sheet when Bayern come up a team that’s due a battering and see which team gets leaked to the press…


  10. Isco Inferno says:

    very good thinking but I’ll have go with Holger Backstabber too.

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