Top 10: Would-be Olympians

Ollie Irish

8th, August 2008

A decathlon of footballers who should be in Beijing
drogba dive.jpg
1. Rio Ferdinand – Cycling
Dodging drugs testers is what Rio does best, and it is an essential attribute for Olympic cyclists.
2. Tony Pulis – Hammer
An expert on propelling circular objects through the air over long distances.
3. Didier Drogba – Diving
At last, a sport where DD’s undoubted talent for falling spectacularly is truly appreciated.
4. Louis Saha – 20km walk
A whole season’s work compacted into one Olympic event.
5. Shaun Wright Phillips – Shot put
An outstanding shot putter. Shot put wide, shot put over the crossbar, shot put straight at the keeper…
6. Joey Barton – Boxing
Reckon you can work that one out for yourselves!
7. Jimmy Bullard – 4x100m relay
He is already used to doing the work of entire team by himself.
8. Cristiano Ronaldo – Triple jump
Sprint along at full pelt, jump three times and land sprawled on the floor in a heap. Sounds like C-Ron to me.
9. Sol Campbell – High Jump
The perfect practice for marking Peter Crouch every day of the week for the next nine months.
10. Craig Bellamy – Women’s Judo
A chance for the Welsh whinger to put his nasty habit of getting into fights with the ladies to good use.

You have already read 10 premium articles for free today
Access immediately the premium content with Multipass

Or come back tomorrow

Posted in Top 10s & lists

Share this article: Email

Leave a Reply