Conniving Little Scheister Luis Suarez Kicks Scott Parker In The Ribs (Video & GIF)

Chris Wright

7th, February 2012


By Chris Wright

After serving his eight-game ban for being a devious little shit to the Nth degree, Luis Suarez returned for Liverpool last night and duly picked up where he left off – giving Scott Parker a sly kick in the ribs.

He’s obviously spent the eight games dutifully reassessing his conduct, mulling over lessons learnt and bettering himself as a person. Gah…

Before anyone argues to the contrary, there is absolutely NOTHING accidental about that. Fully fledged and fully intended.

Kick in the gut not doing it for you? How about a wild Alaskan, line-caught sustainably-farmed eye gouge?…


I’d like to state now that I’m by no means anti-Liverpool, just whole-heartedly anti-Suarez. Here’s hoping that the FA see fit to give the little shit another eight games on the sidelines, the feral little swine.

I want him to go and never come back, preferably from some God-forsaken Siberian Gulag.

Posted in FAIL, GIFs, Hardmen, Liverpool, Videos

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  1. Chimpo says:

    why is it always scott parker? poor sod

  2. ywen says:

    his boot was nowhere near the ball. how was that not a red card?

  3. John says:

    My god I hate Suarez….

  4. Lady B says:

    I’m a Liverpool fan and I can’t stand Suarez! Buck-toothed, overbitey, handballing, bitey, tempermental IDIOT!

  5. fergie says:

    scott parker’s a massive twat. english bias on this website beyond belief. bale being the only player in the prem to receive two yellow cards for simulating is obviously nothing that you guys picked up on, instead only focusing on an innocent man’s misfortune as he OBVIOUSLY accidentally kicked parker.

  6. fergie says:

    oh and you’re a liverpool fan and you can’t stand suarez? just… wow. go on and support citeh or something will ya.

  7. Jimbo says:

    @ Lady B

    Liverpool fan my arse. No Liverpool fan would use a hand ball in a game for his country as a stick to beat him with.

    I know Im a Liverpool fan but I honestly dont think he meant the kick, eyes on the ball! What would happen if Parker missed it and he didnt attempt to connect? As for the picture, any danger of seeing it in video form instead of a still? Or would you be afraid to be shown up for your over the top hatred if it was completely accidental?

  8. Nienke says:

    Yes, he can be horrible. But he’s got more gut and passion then the rest of the Liverpool team (and I love them, really). With Suarez, you got to accept his brilliant skills AND his wrongdoings. He won’t change. But when he comes on the pitch, something happens. Good or/and bad.

  9. JT says:

    Love how when a foreigner does something wrong, everyone calls for his head but then you get diving cheats like Bale noncing around and diving constantly against everyone and no one says anything coz he’s British!

  10. JT says:

    Why are you removing part of my comment? It is scum like him who are ruining the game and the reason why people aren’t allowed to rackle anymore!

  11. Chimpo says:

    ^JT in racist shocker!

  12. Lady B says:

    @Jimbo: Let’s see, bragging about handballs? Biting people? Having a temper tantrum at the slightest thing? I’m sorry, I don’t like the guy. He’s a good player, yes, but it’s the disciplinary stuff (or lack thereof) I don’t like!

  13. Jimbo says:

    @ Lady B

    Your telling me you would not have hand balled in the same situation? If you did that here in Ireland you would be a hero forever and would never have to buy a drink for yourself ever again. Im sorry you dont like to see passionate people play for the Reds.

  14. muppets says:

    honestly what is he trying to do. if parker somehow doesn’t make contact with the ball (he was always going to get his head on that) what is suarez trying to achieve? somehow smack the ball through parker into the back of the net? If he was trying to play the ball he would not have swung his leg like that, he would have tried to bring the ball down and take it around the player. When he makes contact the ball is already a good foot above parkers head, so unless he has the slowest ever recorded reactions there’s something fishy going on.
    anyone who doesn’t think that is intentional is either incredibly stupid or a liverpool fan, although the two are frequently synonymous.

  15. JT says:

    @Chimpo lol nah not racist but love how no media source will ever criticise British players for diving or cheating ( see Johnson, Wellbeck and Bale just this weekend and yes ‘anticipating contact’ is cheating) but yet a foreign player gets a whole article about a bad tackle that was no worse then rooneys elbow last season against wigan and nothing ever got said or done about it!

  16. Tom says:

    Henry did do it in Ireland, and everyone hated him for it…

  17. KingKenneth says:

    Stop trolling ya’ll. Leave this poor kid alone. I am already dealing with a lot here.

    Luis told me that in his country whenever a guest enters the house a kid stands next to door and as soon as that person enters he’s given a swift kick in the stomach. Its very enjoyable. In fact last year they did that to his granny and they all fell laughing on the floor. I asked Gus and he said the same thing.

    There are some things that Luis doesn’t understand … for everything else, its Fergie’s fault !!!

  18. jon says:

    Liverpool fans will always defend him and everyone will always hate Liverpool fans. It’s the circle of life. Also why would they write a deeply polarising piece on a website that draws revenue from advertising? Oh right….

  19. JT says:

    bale is just as foreign as suarez. welsh mug

  20. Mr. Chopper says:

    Eyes on the ball… Until the moment he looks down at Parker, almost looks him right in the eye, and fucking ba-hoots him right in the trunk.

  21. Holier than though says:

    I like this site but PLEASE… enough of this Tottenham love affair in articles its just becoming more and more frustrating to read through the bias in the hopes of enjoying a genuine laugh at the beautiful game.

  22. Mikey J says:

    Waaa, waaa, waaa. So what? He kicked someone who is a bit of a twat. The only down side is that it wasn’t Bale he kicked who is a horrible, cheating cunt. Oh wait, Bale is British so he isn’t horrible and doesn’t cheat, he’s competetive and professional!

  23. McRico says:

    Suarez is the scum of the earth.

    Diving is cheating but so many players do this. However biting appoints, racism, kicking players, sneaky nips and shirt pulling behind the refs back. His hand ball against Ghana, then his total disrespectful celebration at Ghana’s penalty miss. All this takes it to the extreme and separates him from the rest.

    The FA will do sweet FA from this as it would seem like victimisation by King Kennys Klan.

    Sorry but if you buy scum thats the way he will be treated.

    SCUMBAG … SUAREZ ! ! !

  24. Stew says:

    It’s great to have the little horse toothed shit back…

    Cabaye got a 3 game ban for a lot, lot less. Over to you FA.

  25. Nice says:

    Everyone bore off, football should be a mans game and I’m sure 75% of people who have commented on this have taken a kick like this in a game of footy and havent rolled around and complained like a poof. Footballers are all cheats these days! Bring back 90’s football where you could properly tackle and there were no gays

  26. Dont worry says:

    Accident!!! how!!, this fergie bloke is a fool who cares what bale did we arent talking about that this was poor old scott. Suarez is scum and always will be does not deserve to play

  27. Redskywalker7 says:


  28. JJ says:

    The difference between Suarez and Rooney is that Suarez looks you in the face and kicks you, Rooney kicks you when he’s hiding behind you.
    Suarez had a hallucination. He thought Parker was Evra.

  29. Col says:

    As a neutral, I didn’t mind Liverpool so much before yesterday’s game. Now, after their ridiculously unjustified hatred towards Bale and reading these comments from their fans, they’ve become my third most despised team in the league (after QPR and Stoke).

  30. Sultan says:

    Eyes on the ball ? My ass…intentional kick..stupid !!!

  31. Wolf Haley says:

    I thought it was impeccable tekkers like the Karate Kid or something.

  32. Nice says:

    @Col Get off a football website pal and go back to playing with your care bears and put some more fsiry posters up on your wall next to your Bale shrine.

  33. JT says:

    @Dont worry , Thats just my point, no one ever talks about when a british player like Bale dives or cheats coz everyone just wants to point out the foreign playyers mistakes.. Milias (wolves player) gets sent off and banned for 3 games for a good tackle when lampard (fat twat) only gets a yellow and not a single bad word against him for a terrible tackle against wolves!

  34. Dave says:

    hes such a cunt

  35. America says:

    I thought it looked like he was showing off his Tekken moves on old man parker. clearly meant to do it as he takes his eye off the ball to find parkers heart and attempt to kick it out of his body and into the net for style points. and please, welback diving? Ivanovich, already on a yellow for body slamming Young, stamped his foot out to impede Welback from burning him and took him out in the box. Clear penalty. Bale cheats like a sh*& all the time. Bale + Suarez = reason enough for anyone not to watch this game yesterday.

  36. Tinez says:

    Quality finish from the boot of Suarez

  37. Niiiicko says:

    Bale’s dive was very poor & no room that in football.

    Suarez is the most sly player to come to the prem… and that rat of a manager “king” kenny… haha well, what a tool he is.

  38. Niiiicko says:

    Considering Suarez as a person, he has joined his most matched team in the prem

  39. Patrick says:

    As not a fan of either team, Suarez is a load of [insert epithet here]. There’s no way he mis-timed that kick. The ball was 2 feet above him and Parker was clearly heading away. Maybe if he wasn’t a professionally-skilled football player, he could claim whoopsies. But, wait, he is.

  40. LFC baby says:

    @ Lady B

    shut up. its amazing how many people state they do not like suarez but yet they have watched this gif and clicked on the link for this page.

    your all haters because he would and does destroy your defence.

    no LFC fan would go against their own players.

    support your team and players or SHUT UP!

  41. Marquette Jer says:

    The play will be seen through whatever shade of glasses you wish to wear. To me, you can clearly see that when he knows he is not going to make contact, he decelerates. No doubt a high boot, and a deserved yellow, but he wasn’t going after Parker. Scott provided us with the obligatory, “I have been mortally wounded” bit. If Suarez INTENDED to inflict damage with a kick to the ribs, I don’t think Parker gets up. I think he got up and continued. If you are a hater, you will see it as a malicious attack. If you are an apologist, you will see it as witch hunt. If you are a football fan, you see it as a proper yellow card.
    Move along please, nothing else to see here.

  42. Sameer says:

    Fuck off English media. I cud do 100 times better that some of gobshytes that is going around. He apologised immediately and move on suckers! Write something about JT and how he is unfit to be in England squad. Not Anti-Liverpool my arse! Move on losers.

  43. pepe says:

    suarez is what i like to call in my country a “cunt” . not sure if many people understand what a “cunt” is but suarez is a racist, cheating, scumbag of a cunt that deserves to be banned for another 8 games as chris said. good riddance

  44. Raulito says:

    PL’s Pepe. And thats coming from a die-hard Madridista. I understand the massive Suarez support when he f***s up, I do the same for Pepe.I know he (pepe) is overly agressive and do stupid s**t, but I support the man, not the way he plays.

  45. Riley says:

    Putting the intent of Suarez aside for a moment, why are European athletes such fucking pussies? You got kicked in the gut, not stabbed to death. I love the game but jesus, rub some dirt on it and get on with it, you fairies.

  46. Unkle Tickles says:

    A: It was absolutely intentional and him apologizing doesn’t change a thing.
    B: The English media absolutely glosses over English players’ misdeeds while calling for the heads of International players for the same misdeeds and the FA frequently obliges.
    C: Check out the gif, if he was trying to kick the ball on the volley his timing was waaaaay off and he would have missed by a mile plus he had just pushed Parker so he clearly knew that he was there.
    D: Marquette Jer, you completely undermined your own argument. Isn’t it highly possible that Parker was rolling around BECAUSE Suarez booted him in the gut as hard as he could?
    E: People like LFC Baby are exactly what’s wrong with football fans. You can support a team with all your heart while not supporting the clearly asinine actions of one of the players.

  47. Nuno says:

    Absolutebly agree with @Unkle Tickles, especially with the last point. Just because you support a team doesn’t mean you have to close your eyes to every bad thing they do. If you’ve got a brain, try to use once in a while, don’t make gods out of some overpaid pussies.

  48. charlie ronson says:

    Its just typical bullsh*t from liverpool fans, bitterness is all i can see when a liverpool defends suare no doubt he is an ancredible talent but some of the things he does are just unacceptable, bale dived big deal? suare has bitten oppnents racially abused fellow pros and intentionally goes out to hurt people but he cannot admit to any of these things you look at roy keane who had simmilar traits to suare but with keane he could admit that he was a bit nasty and was honest about it thats who he was, but suare according to himself and liverpool has never done anything wrong, any non pool fan looking at this can see it so pool fans would want grow up a bit and realise there not going to win anything for years to come

  49. Errrrghhhh says:

    You can see him body parker off the ball. He thinks that he moved him more than he did and has a kick at where the ball should’ve been. Nothing more nothing less.

  50. Bias says:

    This hatred towards LFC & Suarez has been growing larger and larger on this site. While you will write a 6 paragraph article on an accidental boot, I highly doubt Patrick Barclay’s twitter comment will even get a mention tomorrow. #makeyourownnews

  51. CJ says:

    if as you claim you are only anti suarez and not anti liverpool then why is it when liverpool fans booed evra during the game at anfield you were quick to jump on their backs? however when chelsea fans reacted the same to rio ferdinand (who had no direct involvement in the racism incident) you are happy to just let it slip by without even a mention? im not saying it was right on either behalf, but some fair and un-biassed coverage on ALL english teams would be nice.

  52. pepe says:

    @Raulito – screw Real Madrid. I am no madridista, Pepe is my actual nickname.
    I do however wish for them to beat Barcelona Diving Club each time they play but that’s another story.

    You can’t call Suarez a man because he isn’t. He’s a scumbag with a long list of misdeeds that will haunt him for the rest of his playing career.

    Liverpool showed how small of a team they are for blindly supporting this scumbag.
    Queen Kenny will be punching himself after this half-wit Suarez submits transfer forms to LFC in about a years time. Watch out

  53. Del says:

    He definitly seems to take a little look at him before going for the kick. Why would you do that?? What did he ever do to you???

    You know he was starting to grow on my for a while there but after the who racism drama and now that kick I keep remembering the phrase “World Cup Villain”. *_*

  54. rev tim lovejoy says:


    Suarez is jewish too?

    palestinians beware.

  55. rooney the nut says:

    rooney scold! please dont do it again! if wanna do, do it this sat!

  56. Drama says:

    If Suarez spent less time mucking about with garbage like this he might have more than 5 goals to his credit.

    31 people in the EPL have more goals than he does at this point.

    And he has the 3rd highest shots per game figure, he takes 4.4 shots per game. Only Rooney and Van Persie have higher shots per game and are obviously much more successful.

    I’ve never played professional football but i’ve seen players like Suarez at every level. They are talented but just cannot help themselves from diving, flopping and hacking every chance they get. They listen for the whistle before they think about the ball.

    Prima donnas are nothing but a nuisance wherever they are, this one just happens to be a footballer.

  57. Terry Sheddingham says:

    I can only assume all the dunces who are saying Who Ate All The Pies is just criticising foreign players have come here from some whistleblowing Kopite blog. Anyone who reads this website regularly will know that not long ago one of the writers wrote an article calling attention to the fact that English(/British) players often go unpunished for cheating!

    And as for those claiming that what Bale did was just as bad as Suarez – you’re fanatics, not fans.

  58. Mr. Angry says:



  59. jamie says:

    Fuck Suarez, Dalglish and Liverpool. And persecution-complex-having scousers.

  60. Lou Lou says:

    lol , well said Mr Angry ……… i love Suarez , fantastic player … i also love this kick on Parker , it was intentional yes but who really cares , its more funny than anything , a lot worse things go on in world yet people are outraged by the stupidest things ….

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