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Joe Kinnear’s Top 10 Finest Accomplishments As Newcastle Director Of Football

By Chris Wright

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Newcastle United v Sunderland - St James' Park

It’s with much sadness that we have to inform you, but Joe Kinnear has resigned from his post as Newcastle United’s director of football after less than eight months in the role.

Plonked in above Alan Pardew in the managerial food chain at the club, Kinnear was charged with overseeing player recruitment at St James’ Park, though he failed to bring in anyone, as such, on a permanent deal during his tenure – though we’ll give him the fact that Loic Remy and Luuk de Jong both signed on loans of varying lengths.

There goes a true NUFC legend and, to mark his departure, we though we’d recap ten of the finest contributions Kinnear made to the Newcastle cause during his second stint with the club…

1. Firstly, the very thought of Joe Kinnear locked in a room trying to hammer out a deal for Remy Cabella with Montpellier owner Louis Nicollin (that be him below) fills us with unbridled joy…


2. Kinnear, ever the footballing pioneer (a man who, in his own words, can “open the door to any manager in the world; any league, in all the divisions”), really flexed his ‘super scout’ prowess when he successfully managed to sound out Birmingham’s Shane Ferguson as a potential transfer target after watching the young midfielder in action in the League Cup back in September of 2013.

Ferguson, of course, was on loan at Brum from Newcastle at the time…

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Newcastle United v Manchester United- Sports Direct Arena

Sign him up, sign him up, sign him up!

3. His inspirational programme notes: “(We want) to recruit players whose futures are ahead of them, not behind.” Sound logic if ever we heard it.

4. Erm…oh dear, we’re struggling now…how about the time he claimed he’d signed Tim Krul, only for it to turn out that the Dutch keeper arrived at Newcastle a full TWO YEARS before Kinnear turned up on Tyneside?

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Manchester City v Newcastle United - Etihad Stadium













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By Chris on February 4th, 2014 in Featured, Funnies, Managers, Newcastle Utd, Top 10s & lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Joe Kinnear’s Top 10 Finest Accomplishments As Newcastle Director Of Football”

  1. streetfighta says:

    You left out Yohan Kebab and his claim that he has a direct line to Fergie and Wenger.

  2. EDub says:

    #1 is easily ‘Transferring himself out of Newcastle’

  3. fnarfy fnarf says:

    You forgot the time he thought the the nurses were stealing his medication, and he worked himself up into such a state that he pissed himself in the games room.

  4. Jake says:

    God damn brilliant

  5. Toonster says:

    I completely disagree with point #8. Pure balderdash.

  6. Anonymous says:

    fate will have its revenge on newcastle for letting joe kinnear leave newcastle. i think it is going to explode at some stage soon

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