• Peter Kay in John Smith’s advert: ‘Ave it December 11th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    This classic advert features Peter ‘Garlic… bread?’ Kay as John Smith: the no nonsense footballer. [Rob Parker]

  • Good weekend, bad weekend December 11th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Good weekend Manchester United Now have an eight-point lead over Chelsea following their win against Manchester City.Obafemi Martins The Nigerian striker had been criticised for his lack of goals but now he can’t stop scoring.Portsmouth Played some excellent football on the way to a 2-0 win against Everton. They are now up to third. Bad […]

  • This week’s Premiership predictions December 8th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    SaturdayManchester United v Manchester City (12.45pm) United to go to town on City. 3:0Blackburn v Newcastle (3pm) The Magpies are on a good run and could sneak it at Ewood Park. 1:2Liverpool v Fulham (3pm) The Reds to elevate themselves to fourth with a home win. 2:0Middlesbrough v Wigan (3pm) Two inconsistent sides to share […]

  • Truly appalling football CDs – listen to your club’s top tune December 8th, 2006 Kits & fashion

    These are quite possibly the worst pieces of football merchandise ever! FootballCD.co.uk is selling this collection of ‘Football songs to sing and learn.’ The perfect Christmas gift for the music-loving football fan, right? Unfortunately instead of just taking your £6, someone at FootballCD had the bright idea of letting you listen to a sample of […]

  • Mourinho plots to win the Championship as well as the Premiership December 8th, 2006 Chelsea

    Jose Mourinho is planning a clean sweep of England’s top two divisions. The Special One has been touting the possibility of a Chelsea ‘B’ team competing further down the Football League in a different division from his ‘untouchable’ stars. He said: "I would love to see it. I can tell you for sure that if […]

  • Eggert Magnusson gets the Photoshop treatment in The Guardian’s Gallery December 8th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    The Guardian‘s Gallery is usually good for a chortle at topical Photoshop works of art of varying standards. This week it is the turn of new West Ham owner Eggert Magnusson. Entries include a Humpty Dumpty reference, an alien and even a ‘Eggert’ Humperdinck. If only we had realised in advance, we could have submitted […]

  • Sunderland players in sex tape scandal December 7th, 2006 Tottenham Hotspur

    It’s a funny old game! Just this morning we were bemoaning the fact that, in the current climate of footballer sex scandals, you can no longer post an innocent video of a group of footballers spanking animals without people jumping to conclusions. And sure enough, what should break this afternoon but another football sex scandal. […]

  • Horror Tackle: Dean Windass tries to insert himself into Neil Young feet first December 7th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    This nasty tackle comes from last month’s League One clash between Bradford and Bournemouth. Veteran striker Dean Windass has, for some reason, completely lost it just 13 minutes into the match and decides to make a Dean Windass-shaped hole in Cherries defender Neil Young. Lunging tackle + two feet + being late + being about […]

  • Arsenal fans to wave fake cash at Ashley Cole December 7th, 2006 Arsenal

    Chelsea‘s Ashley Cole will be greeted by a shower of fake £20 notes when he faces former club Arsenal on Sunday. An email has been circulating urging Gooners to cut out the notes – which feature Cole’s head rather than the Queen’s –  and "wave them in the direction of greedy little Cashley Hole". The […]

  • Juventus horsing around on video shoot December 7th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    What on earth is this about? Most clubs show off their squad for the coming season with a team photo, but not Juventus it seems. This video from a few seasons back shows the Turin giants prefer a promotional video. In this age of footballer sex scandals, it would be easy to jump to conclusions […]

  • Fantasy Football Neil Warnock style December 6th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    It’s the new game everyone wants for Christmas (OK, it’s not – I just invented this – but run with me). You’re Neil Warnock. You have been given £5 million to keep your relegation-threatened club in the Premiership. How would you spend the money? I’m going to spend the first million on: Lee Hendrie – […]

  • Get to know Jermaine Pennant a bit better (with the help of MySpace) December 6th, 2006 Liverpool

    Jermaine Pennant was one of Liverpool‘s better players as they lost 3-2 to Galatasaray, including setting up Robbie Fowler for his second goal with an excellent run and chipped cross. But how much do we know about the man himself (other than his well documented past misdemeanors)? Well, now we can find out what really […]

  • Fenerbahce confetti show December 6th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    We’ve all seen the famous footage of the Argentinian fans showering their players with ticker tape during the 1978 World Cup finals… but what about the Turks? Well, the Fenerbahce fans can create an impressive mess of their own with this breath taking display of support. Amazing. [Mof Gimmers]

  • Jewell says “legalise diving” December 6th, 2006 Liverpool

    http://www.rbk.no/multimedia/archive/00039/paul_jewell_stort_39383a.jpg Wigan gaffer Paul Jewell has spoken out on the subject of diving admitting he would legalise it. What? Can that be right? Anyway, with everyone talking about ‘simulation’ at the moment after ManYoo’s Cristiano Ronaldo went tumbling through the air like a gunned duck and subsequently incurred the bile virtually everyone under…

  • Ronaldinho’s side foot free kick under the wall against Werder Bremen December 6th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    He’s a cheeky chappy, our Ronaldinho. Here is his goal from last night’s Champions League match against Werder Bremen: a side-footed free-kick underneath the jumping wall to secure a 2-0 win and a place in the knockout stages. [Rob Parker]

  • Ex-Sun editor stands by Hillsborough ‘truth’ December 6th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1160000/images/_1160216_hillsborough150.jpg The former editor of The Sun, Kelvin MacKenzie, has reportedly claimed that the newspaper’s allegations about Liverpool supporters at Hillsborough was “the truth”. The Sun famously claimed that Liverpool fans had caused the tragedy (which resulted in the loss of 96 lives) by drunkenly storming the gates, and also alleged that fans urinated on the bodies of the dead and pickpocketed them…

  • Micah Richards hung up on England call-up December 6th, 2006 Man City

    Manchester City full-back Micah Richards has revealed he nearly missed out on his first England cap after putting the phone down on Steve McClaren. The 18-year-old hung up believing he was the victim of a prank call. Richards said: "I was in a barbers in Moss Side when my mobile phone rang. This voice said […]

  • Horror Hair: David James (again!) December 6th, 2006 Horror Hair

    David James might have ditched his greasy side-parting, but Horror Hair of that standard doesn’t just disappear over night. The Portsmouth keeper has transformed his Clark Kent look into this backcombed effort, which we must admit is an improvement (although it wasn’t difficult to improve on the previous look). The BBC website has a nice […]

  • HolloWatch: Ian Holloway is still Swiss Toni December 5th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Plymouth boss and all-round legend Ian Holloway will go down in football folklore for his zany outbursts. His most famous (or should that be infamous?) moment in front of the microphone to date is, of course, his Swiss Toni-style speech. Olly seems to be taking the Swiss Toni link a bit too far though. He […]

  • Jimmy Hill’s road safety video December 5th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    We’ve all seen how conscientious Kevin Keegan was, helping a nation’s youth to safely cross the road. Well, step forward Jimmy ‘Chin’ Hill. Not to be outdone by that permed upstart, Jimmy taught the nation’s drivers to… well… avoid mowing motor-cyclists down. Wise words… although, something tells me that the out-takes of this would have […]

  • Before they were famous – some familiar faces earlier in their careers December 5th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    This video features clips of the fledgling careers of some of English football’s biggest names. Check out the Horror Hair material provided by David Beckham and Robbie Savage, and a goal from Michael Owen which makes his World Cup strike against Argentina look like a tap-in! [Rob Parker]

  • Sepp Blatter’s super summer leagues December 5th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    FIFA president and self-appointed spiritual leader of football, Sepp Blatter, has proposed scrapping the traditional football calendar in favour of a summer season running from February to November. Blatter announced the plans for a uniform European football season in an interview with German magazine Kicker. He said: "The season should run from the end of […]

  • Steve McManaman video December 5th, 2006 Liverpool

    You may have seen the Top 10 Real Madrid Goals of All-Time video that we featured on here. Well, I couldn’t help but notice one glaring omission. That being the handful of spectacular goals scored by Steve McManaman whilst he played for the Galacticos. He scored some peaches for Liverpool too, so let’s roll back […]

  • The ball will be landing on runway two (or Man City versus Watford) December 5th, 2006 Man City

    http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42387000/jpg/_42387046_shittu_getty.jpg Last night I witnessed an astonishing game of football. Manchester City took on Watford… and I don’t think it would be unfair of me to say that the match was by no means a classic. In fact, I don’t think it would be unfair to say that it was the worst match I’ve ever seen. The weather was terrible (I think metre and a half of rain fell on the Manchester City…

  • Premium TV websites: bane of the football blogger December 4th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    As stressful jobs go, I imagine football blogger is not particularly high on the experts’ lists. There is not a great deal to get wound up about. Tucked safely behind our monitors – out of the radius of a Sir Alex Ferguson hairdryer tongue-lashing – we can snipe and ridicule without too much fear of […]