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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Cristiano Ronaldo has had his first run-out since the World Cup. Boo, hiss, he’s behind you etc. Winky played for 72 minutes of Man U’s 4-1 friendly win against Oxford, and scored a couple of tasty goals with curling shots. Apart from a few boos (Man U fans cheered him, natch) from the panto-loving Oxford […]

Does he indeed? The cheeky sod. It’s a sad sign of the shift in power in football when a top player feels free to go to the national press – The Sun, in this case – and demand his manager makes some new signings. I respect Thierry Henry, but this outburst serves only to undermine […]

A lot of clubs have shelled out a lot of cash on new players for the coming Premiership season. Because, as all managers say these days, if you stay still you get left behind. I agree with that to a certain extent, but I’m also a great believer in continuity – to this day I […]

Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp wants to bring veteran keeper David James to Fratton Park. Pompey’s current first-choice keeper Dean Kiely isn’t happy about this. In fact, he’s very pissed off. Kiely told the Portsmouth News: ‘I think it would be a little bit of a travesty, certainly on the back of what I did last […]

OK, here’s a fun little game called PredictTheTable. The rules are simple: predict what the final Premiership order will be come the end of the season. Your mates do the same and you compare results with them to see who does the best. Whoever gets more points, wins. It’s free to enter, so check it […]

Found this image of Gary Lineker’s grandfather on the net. The family resemblance is uncanny…

Uefa has confirmed that Liverpool will play their Champions League qualifier against Maccabi Haifa at a neutral ground. The match was wisely switched because of the ongoing conflict in the Israel. The UEFA statement read that "Uefa has decided no European competition matches can be staged in Israel until further notice." The tie may now […]

Rumours are rife of Franck Ribery’s move to the Premiership. Both Man Urinal and The Gooners have been sniffing around, despite statements to the contrary. He’s certainly an exciting prospect and would fit in at any of the top clubs. Here’s why. Mof Gimmers Technorati Tags Ribery Man United Arsenal

It would seem that Arsene Wenger reads Who Ate All The Pies. Why? Yesterday I wrote about my longing for Cashley Cole to sort himself out, and just bugger off to Chelsea. Well, Arsene said "I do not know what will happen with Ashley Cole in the next few days, but for me certainly the […]

This video puts me in mind of Peter Reid and that fly-on-the-wall Sunderland documentary, when every other word uttered began with f and ended in k. Peter Reid is obviously the Joe Pesci of British football – and if that isn’t a gratuitous reason to post a Scorsese clip on a football blog, I don’t […]

Watch out for little Gordon Strachan, giving lie to the stereotype that all short, ginger men are feisty…

It’s looking like Mexico’s top goalscorer (ever) is making his way out of the Bolton camp, and decamping to the lucrative and sunny Saudi Arabia. Jared Borgetti is set to sign for some team no-one’s heard of (Al Ittihad for the record… I told you that you won’t have heard of ‘em). Bolton gaffer, Big […]

Would you pay almost four grand for a ragged little World Cup Willy mascot? Me neither. I suppose it’s 40 years old and a genuine souvenir from the 1966 World Cup, which makes it something of a collectors’ antique, but four grand seems a bit steep. I’d pay 30 quid for it, maybe. Available now […]

For some reason, I can’t find any pictures of Ashley Cole in a Chelsea shirt. You may well be saying "Aaaaaahhh… but he plays for Arsenal…". Well I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t think it would you?  You see, Cole is in the centre of one of the most drawn out transfer sagas ever. The latest […]

Well, we’ve all been speculating about Rooney’s first encounter with Winker Ronaldo ahven’t we? We, the folks at BubbleWrap TV have unearthed some footage of the moment the two met, right from the build up of the first text sent by the Portugese Man O’Dives. Mof Gimmers



August 7th, 2006

We all know that the greatest character in British football today is Ian ‘Ollie’ Holloway. He also happens to be manager of my beloved Plymouth Argyle, which means he’ll be appearing in Who Ate All the Pies with alarming regularity. I’d rather listen to a 90-minute post-match press conference involving Holloway than watch Chelsea play, […]

David Beckham has revealed Sir Alex Ferguson has spoken just five words to him since leaving Man Utd in 2003 and that the Scot called him a ‘fucking liar’ as their crumbling relationship culminated in a transfer to Real Madrid. The five words? ‘How are things over there [Madrid]?’ Fergie said this to Becks as […]

Good WeekendHearts Proved their SPL title credentials with a 2-1 win over Celtic.Barry Conlon The Darlington striker, returning to the club for a second spell, scored the only hat-trick in England, as Darlo thrashed Macclesfield 4-0.Hernan Crespo The want-away Chelsea star returned to his beloved Italy, to Inter Milan on a free transfer. Happy now […]

The classic ‘Art Garfunkel’, as sported by Alan Brazil in the early 1980s. Jesus Christ, he looks about 45, doesn’t he? And check out the size of that frickin’ Spurs crest. It’s practically the size of Brazil’s head! Btw, I highly recommend a visit to Alan’s MySpace site, which inevitably features the music of Simple […]

So, Berbatov keeps scoring. He’s scored three magnificent goals in the pre-season, and confirms my belief in him… based solely on him being ace on various computer games. Watch his tricksy goal against Borussia Dortmund and hope he doesn;t do it against your team in the coming months. Mof Gimmers

So Bolton have a new away kit to replace the very attractive navy blue one of last season. With Reebok being the sponsor of the club, you would have thought that no expense would be spared… right? Wrong. It seems that Reebok has forgotten about quality, and gone for cutting corners. No raised sponsor. No […]

It’s a shame for poor old Man Urinal aint it? First off, they could be missing Paul Scholes and his deft subtle touches and Wayne Rooney (about as subtle as a dogshit in your jeans pocket) after their sendings off in a ‘friendly’. Then of course there is injuries to Rio Ferdinand and John O’Shea. […]

Jimmy Bullard is a great midfielder. As Kevin Keegan might say, he’s full of ‘legs and energy’. Don’t know how Wigan let him leave for Fulham, but Chris Coleman is obviously delighted with his new signing. Bullard is also a nutter (not a hardman, just a mad English ‘character’), as this YouTube clip of him […]

According to Sports Illustrated‘s website, in the wake of the World Cup ‘many Americans are searching for a world superclub to support’. SI writer Grant Wahl suggests that their choice ‘may as well be talent-laden Chelsea’. God help us. Wahl himself chose to support Chelsea in 1998: one of the reasons he gives for this […]

In the first of an occasional series celebrating hideous kits of seasons past, where better to start than with reigning champions Chelsea. I still have nightmares about their ‘graphite and tangerine’ away kit, sported between 1994-1996. I’m pretty sure Ruud Gullit, who made his Chelsea debut wearing this monstrosity (see picture), does too.