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Who ate all the pies

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Batigol Batistuta

November 11th, 2006

Right foot, left foot, six yard box, from distance, with his head, knee, face… Gabriel ‘Batigol’ Batistuta could probably fart a goal in. Let’s celebrate one of the greatest strikers the world has ever seen. [Mof Gimmers]

Manchester City youngster Micah Richards is the only new face in the England squad to face Holland on Wednesday. The 18-year-old right-back has been named in the 28-man squad, as recommended by Pies after the Macedonia game in September. Steve McClaren has resisted the temptation to call-up fellow under 21 internationals Leighton Baines and Theo […]

In the days when Andrei Kanchelskis was ace, and Oldham starred in Semi Finals, goals like this were seldom seen. So enjoy.

Fear not, folks. The Fantasy Friday review has served its five-match touchline ban for overzealous celebrations and is back with a vengeance. Is it all change in the Who Ate All The Pies Fantasy Football League? Click below to find out.


Football’s Conmen

November 10th, 2006

With Roy Keane hitting out at football’s ‘conmen’ saying "I see lads I’ve played with dive, and going down like they’ve been shot. It drives me crazy. Trying to get another player sent off is cheating. And a lot of players are trying to put one over on the referee", maybe we should have a […]

In the days when men were real men… albeit with terrible perms (like the one sported by Graeme Sharp on the left) and bruiser tasches… sticker albums were full of players who didn’t even know what a stylist was, and if they did, they’d probably chin ‘em. Well, if you’re getting dewy eyed about the […]

No wonder Newcastle are struggling this season. PC Glenn Roeder has been too busy locking up Gazza to worry about tactics, team selection and inspirational team talks. He might be dull in the world of football, but he is probably one of the most charismatic coppers ever!   For more Glenn Roeder fun-poking, check out […]

1 Blackburn in bid to sign David Beckham [The Sun] 2 Alan Smith to join Cardiff on loan [BBC Sport] 3 Freddy Eastwood is lined up for a move to West Ham (three years after they released him) [Guardian] 4 Steve Sidwell wants a new contract at Reading despite previously saying he wanted a move […]

Manchester United are in negotiations to take American teenager Freddy Adu on trial later this month ahead of a possible transfer in January. United initially refuted newspaper claims that the 17-year-old would be joining them for a two-week trial. The club has now acknowledged that they are in talks with Adu. It is thought Chelsea […]

Lord Stevens is being urged to name innocent clubs today that are not involved in his bungs investigation. Several club chairmen will put their case at a meeting today, arguing that their clubs have been tainted by accusations after Lord Stevens announced that there were a total of eight clubs and 39 deals under investigation. […]

It started with a terrible song and a dancing wolf, and harvested a blessing from the pope, new found hero status for David O’Leary, and an Englishman being near Sainted by the people of Ireland. Yep, it’s time to cast our minds back to Eire’s first ever World Cup finals in 1990. [Mof Gimmers]

Oh look! Another scandal involving football managers! This time it involves betting. The FA is all set to investigate allegations that several Premiership managers have laid bets on top-flight matches. The claims were made by a former employee of bookmakers Victor Chandler. "We will see if there has been any breach of our regulations and […]

It is difficult to appreciate Wayne Rooney was just 16 when he scored this goal to end Arsenal’s 30 game unbeaten run. He is still only a youngster and yet this magical moment came all of four years ago. [Rob Parker]

West Ham‘s Teddy Sheringham has been told to start acting his age by the father of Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas. Francesc Fabregas Snr – who at the 39 is one year younger than the Sheringham – was speaking after the veteran striker clashed with his son during the fiery meeting between the two sides on […]

This photograph of Gazza was taken shortly before his arrest on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm. I think it is fair to say he was looking worse for wear at the time. Eyewitnesses claim that the 39-year-old racially abused a black photographer and punched another photographer outside the Boujis nightclub, Kensington. He was later […]

Arsene Wenger and Alan Pardew have both been handed improper conduct charges by the FA following their scuffle at Upton Park on Saturday. A statement on the FA website said: " The charges relate to their alleged aggressive and confrontational behaviour towards the end of the match at Upton Park on Sunday 5 November. They […]

Everybody is talking about Southend after their shock 1-0 win over Manchester United last night, so here they are attempting the Soccer AM crossbar challenge. Not a bad effort at all from the Shrimpers. First up is man of the moment Freddy Eastwood… [Rob Parker] David Beckham apparently suffered from ‘psychological difficulties’ after being dropped by Steve McClaren… so reckons Real Madrid manager Fabio Capello. The former ManYoo player resigned as England captain after the World Cup in Germany before being axed from the squad after McClaren succeeded Sven-Goran Eriksson as England manager…


Hansen Verdict

November 8th, 2006

Why don’t more Sunday League teams do spoofs?  This is a little belter with a ‘Hansen verdict’ on some scruffy kids… unless… he actually did analyse them? [Mof Gimmers]

For years, the League Cup has seen various sponsors. It was once the Milk Cup. It was once the Rumbleows Cup. Largely however, it’s referred to as the ‘Micky Mouse Cup’. Usually, Premiership sides put out weakened teams to ensure an injury free squad for ‘more important’ matches like league games, or in some cases, European fixtures. Well, last night, the nation’s love affair…

Injury-plagued Newcastle midfielder Kieron Dyer has begged to play in the Carling Cup tie with Watford tonight in a pair of goggles. The 27-year-old is out of action with an eye injury after a long layoff with hamstring trouble. Dyer asked to play in a pair of Edgar Davids-style goggles, but medical staff have told […]

Dynamo Kiev rumoured to have held talks with Sven [Times] Southend’s Freddy Eastwood (pictured) the latest Football League player to be linked with a move to Aston Villa [Clubcall] Manchester City to move for in-form Excelsior Rotterdam player Andwele Slory [FansFC] And City are still trying to convince Sylvain Distin to snub moves to Newcastle […]

Despite the fact that his side are still attempting to recoup the eight points they were docked for match fixing, Milan boss Carlo Ancelotti has taken the opportunity to complain that refereeing decisions are suddenly going against his side! He said: "There have been too many refereeing mistakes against us in the last 10 days. […]

Having watched this video a few times, I still have no idea what this goalkeeper is attempting to do. Some possibilities: 1 Chase around after the ball like a dog.2 Confirm with the betting syndicate behind his goal that it is now he’s supposed to concede.3 Break the world record for the largest circumference of […]

If you love nothing better than pretending to be Alan Hansen from the comfort of your own living room, this t-shirt might be up your street. Tell it like it is in a t-shirt that tells it like it is with this Armchair Football Pundit design from DJ Tees. It will set you back £17.90 […]