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Who ate all the pies

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Beckham and Foccer?

January 24th, 2007

With Goldenballs Beckham off to LA, it seems that the US aren’t taking the whole thing as seriously as us Englishmen. Some Scottish bloke has a show over there and compares Beckham to a rather frightening looking chap who plays ‘football’ (that’s the American version where you use your hands a lot obviously). Maybe someone […]

Ron Atkinson is back in football after a spell out after he made some very unpleasant comments about Marcel Desailly. No, he hasn’t been appointed as the manager of the KKK’s Five-a-side team. He ‘s now the director of football at non-League Kettering Town. The orange faced manager/pundit is returning to the Conference North club, […]

Wigan boss Paul Jewell is going after Lee Chun-Soo. The South Korean starlet announced himself on the World Stage at the last World Cup with a stunning freekick against Togo. The 25-year-old former Asian Young Footballer of the Year has emerged as a target as Jewell looks to strengthen his squad. Lee currently plays for […]

There are two things that are pretty much unaminous when talking about Ruud van Nistelrooy. One, that he is a fantastic goalscorer. Two, he’s annoying and stroppy. Well, he’s furthered his mardy credentials further by mewing out of the Holland side. Ruud Rum has told Dutch national coach Marco van Basten that he is no […]

Ouch! These players must be wishing they had kept their eye on the ball rather than keeping their balls on the ball!

Lucas Neill has decided on the latter. Despite interest from Barcelona after his impressive World Cup and a contract on the table from Liverpool, Neill has made the distinctly sideways move from Blackburn Rovers to West Ham. The reason? If we are to believe the rumours the Hammers will be paying the Australian international £60,000 […]

Manchester United star Wayne Rooney has revealed he loves to listen to the musical Oliver! – and he knows the words to every song. The England striker revealed on his brand spanking new website that he loves to listen to Lionel Bart’s musical. Artists including 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Stereophonics, Arctic Monkeys and Damien Rice are […]

Jeff Stelling has an unenviable job. He’s paid to talk no stop for hours about football matches. Sounds fun on the surface, but would you get excited about someone getting his 6th goal of the season for Rochdale? Of course, in all that gabbering, Jeff gets the odd thing wrong (Like his famed "They’ll be […]

So, Keith Hackett wants the BBC to stop criticizing his referees eh? Well, like I said last week, if that’s going to happen, we need the match officials to sharpen up a bit. This weekend, much like any other footballing weekend, has seen a couple of incidents that have really stuck in my throat. The […]

Fans who have experienced the thrill of an away match will know how addictive it is. The trip down, the pre-match pints in a strange pub, being in a strange ground. It’s like a holiday with a football match stuck in the middle of it! However, loads give it a wide berth because they can’t […]

Good weekendCharlton A priceless first away win of the season for Alan Pardew’s side at Portsmouth.Benitez and Wenger The (arguably) surprise winners of the top four head-to-heads help to make matters much closer at the top of the table.Stewart Downing The Middlesbrough winger looked back to his best as he created three goals and scored […]

Reading striker Shane Long seemed to enjoy opening the scoring against Sheffield United – just ask mascot Kingsley the Lion!

Welcome to Pies’ new weekly feature Sticker Sunday. Readers who have been with us since our Bratwurst days might remember the successful Panini Mondays. Sticker Sundays will continue in a similar vein. Every week we will open three packs of Merlin’s FA Premier League stickers and let you know how we are getting on as […]

Keith Hackett will meet BBC radio and television journalists next week in an attempt to counter what is seen as an increase in official-bashing in Aunties output. Hackett, who is the professional referees’ chief, regularly talks to the LMA (League Managers Association) and PFA representatives before each season, and the decision to address broadcasters is […]

All of the Pies Fantasy Football teams have been knocked out of the FA Cup after humiliating defeats to lower league opposition, but it is a relief really. Now we can concentrate on our league form. All that knockout football would have been an unnecessary distraction. Honest. Sob, sob! Click the link below to see […]

Poor old Hossam Ghaly. You play well against Portsmouth, only to be rewarded with having three of your teeth booted out. Ouch. More Spurs news this way

This has to be the oddest football story I’ve heard in ages, but England defender Glen Johnson, who plays for Portsmouth on loan from Chelsea, and Millwall striker Ben May were caught at a B&Q in Kent on Wednesday after the pair were spotted by a security guard putting a toilet seat into a box […]

Musician David Gray is to take to the commentary box for Sunday’s match between Arsenal and Manchester United. The 38-year-old will be a summariser on Radio Five Live Sports Extra’s 1920s-style coverage of the match.

Surely one of the most ill-tempered matches of all time. Sit back and watch the sparks (and Johnny Heitinga) fly once again. [Rob Parker]

This man is on Celebrity Big Brother. I don’t blame you if you don’t recognise his face. I also don’t blame you if you are wondering why his face is on a football site. Well, this idiot is called Jack and he’s going out with Jade Goody. He’s a massive West Ham fan and he […]

Garrincha, in my opinion, is too often overlooked when great players names are mentioned. It’s all Pele, Cruyff, Platini and Maradona. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with looking back at those players, but surely we all know how great they were? Garrincha (which means ‘Little Bird’) was an explosive talent both on the pitch and with […]

When I think of Fulham, it’s usually a dismal traveling support and uninspired football that springs to mind. However, that may not be the case this season as Fulham are, quite obviously, the most entertaining team on the planet. Why?  Let’s look at the stats from the Fulham’s last half dozen games. 25 goals in […]

Following yesterday’s look at kung-fu football film Shaolin Soccer, it is now time to see how the professionals do it. Here is a compilation of some of football’s best kung-fu volleys. Lead on, Gus Poyet! Robin van Persie deserves a special mention for this effort [Rob Parker]

Back in the days when Peter Crouch was still in short normal-sized trousers, Kevin Francis was English football’s token giant. The 6ft 7in striker made his name at Stockport County, having moved to Edgeley Park from Derby in 1991. He scored an impressive 117 goals in 202 games for County before being drafted into Barry […]

AC Milan hoping Ronaldo rolls back into town (probably literally) [BBC Sport] Someone’s told Martin Jol the January sales are on at Manchester City as he prepares a cheeky £10 million bid for Micah Richards [FansFC] Southampton wonderkid Gareth Bale (pictured) is almost certainly on his way to Man Yoo [Guardian] Giving him just enough […]