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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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There’s currently lots of talk in the papers on online that Atletico Madrid have agreed to sell star striker Fernando Torres to Man Utd next summer, for £26m. It’s been reported that Sir Alex Ferguson has agreed to make a down-payment of £5million in a bid to beat Chelsea to the signing of the young […]

He’s English for God’s sake, of course he’s not going to score. Very funny clip and couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke (bit of sarcasm, there).

‘I’m fine and I’m happy…’ Dario Silva (pictured) speaks to the media for the first time since his horrific car crash. [Guardian]William Gallas thinks Scotland will be ‘quaking in their boots’ ahead of this weekend’s France v Scotland Euro 2008 qualifier. Cocky shit. Go Scotland! [F365]Sports Illustrated: Andriy Shevchenko is a very expensive decoy for […]

All rise for Leonardo Shaun Goater, Bermuda’s most famous footballer and a cult hero to fans of Rotherham United, Bristol City, Man City, Reading and Southend United. He was the ultimate journeyman striker, blessed with pace and an eye for goal – ‘Feed the Goat and he will score!’. He certainly wasn’t the most stylish […]

BRANDISH, Shiny Media’s new site dedicated to The Coolest Stuff in the World for blokes is now live and kicking, so check it out and spread the word to your mates. It’ll feature must-have gadgets, fashion that won’t make you look like a metrosexual arsehead, illegally fast cars, fine Cuban cigars, Japanese robots, that sort […]

Germany goalkeeper Jens Lehmann is to auction the piece of paper with notes on Argentina players’ penalty habits which he kept down his sock during the World Cup quarter-final shootout. Lehmann was seen reading the note between penalties. The Arsenal keeper claims he struggled to read his pencil scrawl on the sweaty piece of paper […]

I have often thought Thierry Henry would make a great artist. All he needs is a little moustache and a beret. Oh, and some paint obviously. Anyway, he has created a modern art masterpiece to raise money for Bob Wilson‘s Willow Foundation. Tel kicked footballs at cans of paint to make his work of art. […]

Agent Charles Collymore has been charged by the FA for touting one of his players around without the knowledge of his club. Collymore is alleged to have pimped Luton Town‘s Enoch Showunmi (pictured) to Millwall without the knowledge of the Kenilworth Road club. Showunmi is now at Bristol City. Collymore is the agent Luton boss […]

… or maybe not. Despite a big hug from cuddly peacemaker Martin Jol at the end of the Tottenham v Portsmouth match, Spurs fans are still bearing the grudge with Sol Campbell (and still linking him with Michael Barrymore). [Via Caught Offside] [Rob Parker]

Newcastle goalkeeper Shay Given has told how he passed out in the showers at Upton Park after sustaining a bowel injury in a collision with Marlon Harewood. Given, aged 30, said: "I was stretchered off and thought it was easing. I had a shower, got hit by a pain and then passed out for nine […]

Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon is desperate for David Beckham to extend his stay at the Bernabeu. Becks is currently discussing a new deal but he will be allowed to negotiate with other clubs from 1 January if terms are not agreed – prompting rumours that he may move to the MLS in America. Calderon, […]

If you want to know why Norman Hunter was so pissed off with Franny Lee (see previous post), then perhaps this tremendous dive to win a penalty, earlier in the same match, had something to do with it. Yep, in the Seventies men were men, but they knew how to dive too.

Just imagine what Norman or Franny would do to the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo. When Lee and Hunter played, footballers were men with bad hair. Now they’re petulant boys with bad hair. What a cracking dust-up this is, and all the way into the tunnel too. Apparently Lee continued to rage at Hunter, banging on […]

Until last night, when he scored two goals against Fulham, including a last-gasp cracker, Watford’s Ashley Young was the Premiership’s best-kept secret. Hornets fans know how good he is, of course. So what do we know about him? Well, he’s 21 years old, he started life as a winger but has undergone a Thierry Henry-esque […]

The draw for the group stages of this season’s Uefa Cup has just been made, and the remaining British clubs all face tricky assignments. Newcastle Utd have been drawn in the toughest group, Group H, along with Palermo (who demolished West Ham), Celta Vigo (solid Spanish team), Fenerbahce (always a tough place to visit) and […]

If you were Kieran Richardson, would you rather remain at a club that you are not good enough to play for and continue to enjoy your fleeting (if unimpressive) performances for England? Or would you prefer to move to a smaller club where you are more likely to get a regular place in the team […]

Following Wayne Rooney‘s admission that his boyhood football hero was former Everton winger Anders Limpar, we salute some of the Premier League’s old Scandinavian stars who might have slipped your memory.

Everton’s Andy Johnson has pulled out of the England squad for the upcoming Euro 2008 qualifying matches against Macedonia and Croatia. The 25-year-old picked up a hamstring injury in the last minute of Saturday’s 1-1 draw against Man City. A great shame for England, ’cause he’s in fine form right now. Charlton’s Darren Bent will […]

Wow, I’ve seen embarrassing misses from two and three yards out, but missing an open goal from one yard out takes real skill… [Via The Offside]

I think that spending £30 million on a player fast approaching 30 (he’s 30 now) is obscene – even a player as talented as Shevchenko. Roman Abramovich had his heart and wallet set on Sheva, but you can bet Jose Mourinho wasn’t as keen on signing the Ukraine legend. And for good reasons. Sheva’s best […]

Three game ban for you, if I had my way. You made Cristiano Ronaldo look like a saint. [Rip Off] I’m all for Spurs being awarded penalties but this one was cheap and, to be honest, a bit embarrassing on our end. If there had been even the slightest amount of contact, like a pinky […]

That Joey. In the words of Captain Mannering, he’s football’s ultimate stupid boy. Still, I hope the FA don’t punish him for this, because as you can see in this video clip, it’s hardly up there with Cantona’s flying karate kick.

Tottenham boss Martin Jol’s latest purchase seems to be a timeshare in Arsene enger’s rose-tinted specs. The rotund Dutchman claims that midfielder Didier Zokora was off-balance when he ‘accidentally’ won the match-winning penalty for Spurs against Portsmouth yesterday. "He said he was off-balance and assured me he didn’t dive.I know this player and I have […]

Best goal of the season so far. It’s not as good as Marco van Basten’s wonder volley in the 1988 Euro Championships (some pundits claimed it was), but it’s still a heck of a goal from Arsenal’s flying Dutchman.

Good weekendSam Allardyce If anyone needed a good weekend, it was Big Sam. Three points against Liverpool won’t go amiss.Sheffield United The Blades’ first win of the campaign lifted them off the bottom of the table.Tottenham Hotspur Recorded a much-needed win against Portsmouth. Bad weekendWest Ham Defeat against Reading leaves the struggling Hammers teetering above […]