By Chris Wright
“Paris is shite, the French are all gits, I hate croque monsieurs and The Louvre smells like a ballbag”
As it’s been mooted all morning, PSG’s 4:00pm coffee meeting was indeed hastily arranged to announce the French club’s signing of free agent David Beckham on a five-month deal until the end of the season. Look at him up there, being all handsome and junk.
Excuse us for being cynical, but it’s hard to get overly excited about this one. We don’t imagine for one iota that PSG’s Qatar-based oil daddies have signed Brand Beckham© for solely footballing reasons.
It’s easy to see why he’s viewed as little more than a marketing ploy these days. You only have to look at the furore surrounding his latest move to see that his name still carries enormous weight.
Beckham, as a free agent, could’ve joined PSG at any point over the past few months. Today was chosen for maximum global impact. Nothing is done on the fly with this guy.
He can still go on the pitch up to a point (in a very reduced capacity) but, at 37, how much action can Becks realistically be hoping for? He’s not fully fit and there’s no real void in the PSG first-string for Beckham to fill. Maybe some cameos in the middle? Given he’s only on board for five months, we’re guessing his on-field contributions will be ‘sporadic’ at best.
We’re also keen how Zlatan will react to having to split his limelight 50/50. Stay tuned.
It’s the other side of the game where he comes into his own these days: promoting the “project”, shirts sales, sponsorship deals and all the other various commercial ventures that are necessary when the turnover is so high.
Basically, PSG have kicked their short-term FFP concerns square in the nuts in one fell swoop without paying a penny in transfer fees.
Beckham has confirmed that his wages will be donated to a children’s hospital in Paris, which is an honourable gesture, but let’s be right – he’s going to earn his money elsewhere. Something something charitable donation something something offsetting tax something something.
Oh screw us. We’re just rambling. How can sick kiddywinks receiving a tidy lump sum be a bad thing? We’re the worst.
Bravo Beckham! Bravo PSG!