Romelu Lukaku Pushes For Big-Money Move To England ‘By Next Monday’ – Before His College Exams

Chris Wright

1st, June 2011


By Chris Wright

If you happen to peruse the gossip columns or play Football Manager from time to time, you’re bound to be aware of young Romelu Lukaku – the depressingly prodigious, ridiculously prolific Anderlecht striker who seems to have been prone for a big-money move to one of Europe’s elite for years, despite only being 18 years of age at present.

£20-million-rated Lukaku has been routinely linked with Chelsea, Arsenal, Man City, AC Milan and Real Madrid (amongst others) over the last few months, but the poor wee mite wants his immediate future sorted out before this coming Monday as – if you’re still holding out for that talent scout to turn up to your drizzly 5-a-side games on a Tuesday night in the arse-end of nowhere, aged 26, then this will drive a dagger right through your heart – he has school exams to revise for:

“I would like my future settled by next Monday as my college exams start the next day and I don’t want any other concerns.

“I’ll be going to be one of the top two or three clubs in England – or else I’ll stay at Anderlecht. I want to leave, because I want to score goals in a stadium where there are 50,000 people, and play in the Champions League.”

So that’s Manchester United, Chelsea, Manchester City and Arsenal at a push (nudge, nudge) – though the Gunners somehow finished fourth in a two-horse race and Stamford Bridge only holds 42,000.

United have already confirmed that Michael Owen is prepped and ready for one more season on the bench at Old Trafford next term so…by process of Poirot-like elimination, all signs point to City landing themselves another new striker by next week.

Unless he stays in Belgium, of course.

Posted in Arsenal, Chelsea, Man City, Real Madrid, Transfers & Rumours

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  1. dc says:

    He just turned 18, not 19, what is with every publication getting every young player’s age/name wrong? The telegraph did it with Alex (Axel) Witsel and Phil Jones (2 years age difference there) and I saw Eden Hazard misrepresented too. Maybe it’s only young Belgians and Phil Jones…

  2. Chris says:

    @dc: Duly amended. I have nothing to blame but my appalling grasp of mathematics.

  3. 'Sota Dan says:

    New Three-In Three-Out coming soon? *Sigh* It takes a long-time to get to 8th place.

  4. Chris says:

    @Sota Dan: Kind of slipped my mind amidst all the CL Final hubbub. Should get round to it in the next few days.

  5. dc says:

    no worries, Chris, it’s an honest and harmless mistake, i was just pondering to myself more than anything why it seems to be happening so often, especially to Belgians… all it really takes is a quick look at wikipedia, they do the math for y’all…

  6. Alex says:

    Let’s really hope that he wasn’t literal in his speaking, or doesn’t know how many people Stamford Bridge holds. Man City seem to be going on a massive buy out again, and if they snatch up Romelu, things will be terrible.

    Come to Chelsea- he IS the new drog…

  7. Dosotros says:

    Breaking News: Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has hired a West London construction firm for an emergency 8,000 seat addition to Stamford Bridge.

  8. solihullunited says:

    18 eh? arsene’s got that on lock down

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