Retro Football: “If My Granny Had Balls She’d Be My Grandad” – Liam Brady Sums Up Brighton’s Dismal Performance vs Canvey Island, 1995 (Video)
By Chris Wright
Back in November of 1995, with 3,500 fans crammed into a tiny ground two metres below sea-level in the Thames estuary, non-league Canvey Island (a team of ‘postmen, brickies and bouncers’ playing in the first round of the FA Cup for the first time in their history) held Division Three side Brighton & Hove Albion at Park Lane thanks to an 84th-minute equaliser from Alan Brett – with Brighton ‘keeper Nicky Rust pulling of a desperate, clawing save in the dying moments to keep the Essex part-timers from nicking a dramatic victory.
Safe to say, Brighton manager Liam Brady was a bit peeved after the final whistle – summing up his side’s dismal performance with a legendary snippet of post-match analysis…
Couldn’t have put it better myself. You can see how Brady eventually made his way into punditry with telling insight like that.
Any road up, Brighton stuffed Canvey Island 4-1 in the replay at the Goldstone Ground two weeks later, but that’s really by-the-by.

















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good man chippy, i almost feel bad for eammon dunphy now
0.20 is that lad wearing mascara?
Haha I love the turn and look at the end.