Top 12 Inane Michael Owen Commentary Quotes

Chris Wright

24th, March 2014


By Chris Wright


The collective sigh of a nation was palpable when BT Sports announced that Michael Owen was joining their team in co-commentator capacity at the beginning of the season, as subscribers suddenly realised that they were in for at least a season’s worth of beige footballing clichés and banal, perfunctory observations from a man who more or less talks in binary code.

Lo and behold, L’il Mike didn’t let anybody down, causing many a BT Sport viewer to suffer catatonic nervous meltdowns with his colourless delivery and 2D insight.

We though we’d assemble a few of Owen’s finest utterings in one place so, generations from now, the human race is aware of what we as a populace had to endure…

1. “What a feeling it is to be a manager and bring someone on.”

2. “It’s a good run but it’s a poor run, if you know what I mean?”

3. “It’s a nightmare for strikers when defences push up. You’ve got to go with them or you’re offside.”

4. “Wenger will be quite happy that Arsenal haven’t conceded”. Yep, probably.

5. With Liverpool launching a counter-attack against Arsenal: “They’re outswarming them!”.

6. “Pellegrini will speak to them and City will come out with a fresh set of impetus.”

7. “That’s simple as…simple”.

8. “To stay in the game, you have to stay in the game”.

9. You have to believe your own eyes, don’t you?” 

10. After Chelsea scored their sixth goal against Arsenal: “This is turning into a rout.”

11. “That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post.”

12. “You need people who score goals. That’s how you win games”.

As a great man once said…

Suggested further reading…

Why Does No-One Like Michael Owen?
Top 20 Brilliantly Cringeworthy Brendan Rodgers Quotes

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  1. TravisKOP says:

    how does he continue to get work?

  2. Neil says:

    Funny, but you could do this with almost any commentator — just by selecting bits of their commentary and pulling it out of context. I’ve never understood the general dislike people seem to have of Owen. He was a good footballer in his youth, but Liverpool played him into the ground and after a series of injuries, he never really recovered the pace that made him one of the best.

  3. Rob says:

    The full quote for #1 is actually “What a feeling it is to be a manager and bring someone on and for them to score”. Even if it’s trying to be funny, dishonest quoting is garbage.

  4. wawan says:

    i like Football because M. Owen…
    whatever he do, he always the best for me!!!

  5. Rory says:

    i really dont think Michael has what it takes to be a football commentator let alone a pundit on BBC MOTD. His comments are obvious and unecessary, that do not give any greater insight to those of us who enjoy watching the game and wish to have the views of one who understands what is happening. If there was a league for commentating he wouldnt be allowed to play……….

  6. Kev says:

    Football commentators generally talk shit. They try to make every event sound like its one for the record books. “It’s the first time Arsenal have conceded to Chelsea, at home, in the first half, on an overcast Saturday afternoon, in March, while Wenger is wearing red pants and Bryan Adams isn’t number 1 in the charts”. I’ll never forget where I was when that happened.

  7. Col says:

    Contrastly, I genuinely believe Mike is one of the best co-commentators around (and the best on BT without adoubt). I’m pleasantly surprised at how impressed I am with him, as I was one of those doubters originally.

  8. Robert says:

    I no longer bother or I turn the sound down not to listen to his nasal drone, but worse most of us know the laws or at least enough to understand a goal is scorered when it goes between the post into the net.

    But Owen need the cash to feed his horses I suspect.

  9. Love says:

    Bloody Owen…fuck off and go and have sex with your horses please since that’s all you fucking dribble on about….

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