‘I Need Sensible Hair Like Gary Neville’ – Man Utd Dreadnought Nemanja Matic Won’t Be Going Down The Paul Pogba Route Any Time Soon

Chris Wright

21st, April 2018


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With Paul Pogba continuing to attract constant ire for having the temerity to cut and style his hair in between matches, Nemanja Matic has moved to assure Manchester United fans that he they won’t catch him indulging in such wanton folly anytime soon.

In an exclusive interview with the Guardian ahead of Saturday’s FA Cup semi-final against Tottenham, the Serbian midfielder revealed himself to be roughly as dry and quiet as you might expect – explaining that he is a “simple” man who is at Old Trafford to do his job and nothing more.

Asked whether he might countenance dying his hair blue or red for the big game à la Pogba, Matic revealed that his stylistic inspiration lies elsewhere:

No, I’m just simple. I have kids – if I do that my son is going to do the same; I have to have serious hair like Gary Neville.

And let’s face it, who can blame the man for wanting to emulate Nev? All Matic needs now to complete the look is a centre-parting, a set of 90s-approved curtains and an industrial keg full of Vo5 wet-look hairgel.

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Serious hair, that.

Posted in Horror Hair, Man Utd

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  1. VieuxSang says:

    This article explains much to me. Matic left Chelsea because Conte does not have serious hair. He followed the hedgehog to Man U.

  2. Her Royal Imperial Goddess Count Ursula Armadillo Filbertsworth Jong-a-Pin Fourth Professor of the House of Chantalneuf, 18th in line to the throne of the Principality of New Providence, Craddock of the Realm says:

    He hath a wonderful barnet

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