Pies’ Christmas Gift Ideas – No. 4: Aston Villa Toilet Paper
By Chris Wright
Presenting: The ‘perfect fun gift for a Birmingham City supporting family member or friend who enjoys football banter with a Aston Villa fan’.
Now correct us if we’re wrong here, but isn’t ‘banter’ supposed to be, by it’s very definition, a two-way thing?
It seems that the fatal (or should that be ‘fecal’?) flaw in having a rival club’s emblem adorning your toilet paper is that, for it to have any effect, you either have to, a) bide your time until a Villa fan visits your home and enquires about your choice of bog roll or, b) run out into the streets of Witton showing everyone what you just wiped your backside on.
That said, it does come in a lovely gift box…
Crap. Quite literally.
(Thanks to Pies fan Solihull United for the tip-off!)
More gift ideas on Pies…
No. 1 – Small Figurine Of Sergio Ramos/Cesc Fabregas Taking A Dump
No. 2 – The Hannover 96 Toaster
No. 3 – Snazzy Signed Football Merchandise From ICONS



















Named And Shamed: 37 English Clubs Offering Unpaid Jobs – Sporting Intelligence
2013 Champions League Final Viewing Companion – Dirty Tackle
Very Best Of ESPN FC's Toe Poke Blog 2012/13
The 'Transfer Talks' Flowchart – Football Cliches
Remembering Ivan Turina – A Football Report
Moyes Has Done Sod All To Deserve United Job – Johnny Nic For F365
Anfield: The Victims, The Anger And The Shameful Truth – Guardian
The A-Z Of Football Boot Brands – The Boot Room
Man Utd Coach Delivers Opinion On Rooney's Form – Off The Post
19 Rules Of Playing Football When You're A Kid – BuzzFeed