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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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WAGs & Babes

WAGs & Babes: An in-depth scientific examination of the lovely ladies that pepper the modern game.

Le Tiss and his dignity – rarely seen together

Who the hell is this Pixie Lott anyway?

I kissed a badge and I liked it

Bastian Schweinsteiger In the real world, the uber-hot Sarah Brandtner wouldn’t even look once at the German winger. But in a world where footballers attract the sort of women who would normally be way out of their league, the pig farmer shoots and scores.

One is a scary control freak, the other is a video game character Nice shoulder pads/hat combo, Mrs Becks. Not intimidating in any way. More Shit Lookalikes

Friday’s fun-sized selection Stevie G’s missus named new Queen of the WAGs by Tatler magazine [Kickette] Chelsea table £19.7m bid for Real Madrid’s Brazilian striker Robinho. Good luck with that [BBC] Aston Villa invest in a new pair of full-backs: Nicky Shorey (left) and Luke Young (right) [Independent] Rafa Benitez: this is my best Liverpool […]

Tuesday’s soccer-shaped smorgasbord Real Madrid midfielder Wesley Sneijder’s knee injury will rule him out for three months, a relief to the player who had feared a longer absence. Tests showed Sneijder did not tear ligaments when he was challenged by Arsenal’s Abou Diaby in a friendly. [Canadian Press] Alex Ferguson is a secret film buff […]

Posh v fictional luckdragon Uncanny, huh. Spotted at Totallylookslike.com

Today’s news, rumours & morsels Top five hottest women in the USA national team [Save the intern] Ex-con Joey Barton loses lucrative Nike boot deal [The Sun] David Bentley set for White Hart Lane medical after Spurs increase bid to £15m. [Telegraph] Aston Villa’s attempts to compete with the salary Gareth Barry would receive if […]

Tuesday’s tastiest soccer snacks Fergie may make shock £15m swoop for Thierry Henry, says the Daily Star William Gallas admits last season’s tantrum at Birmingham was a “mistake”. [Independent] Sven-Goran Eriksson should slap on some sunblock… [Monterrey Offside] Has Owen Hargreaves broken up with his WAG? [Kickette] Arsenal bang ten goals past Burgenland in friendly. […]

Thursday’s loveliest links WIll Ferrell hearts Chelsea The American funny man was spotted on Jon Stewart’s Daily Show (there to promote new movie Step Brothers) wearing a Chelsea shirt. Go figure. [Unprofessional Foul] Safe soccer Some Cape Town footballers are putting condoms on their feet, so that their socks can stay up longer during matches. […]

In which Frank reveals he broke a treadmill because he was too fat fast Stalker alert, stalker alert. [Via The Spoiler & 101 Great Goals]

The things players get up to in their down time… (click on image below to view gallery)

Irish chart botherers to serenade Roo’s missus Westlife will perform at the wedding of Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin. Westlife are apparently Coleen’s favourite band. How vomit-inducing sweet. The couple are getting married on 14 June in Italy and are rumoured to be spending £3m on the bash, thanks mostly to OK! magazine. God knows […]