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Who ate all the pies

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

Five Ipswich Town players have been disciplined for taking a two-day break in Amsterdam last week ahead of their FA Cup tie against Chester City. First team regulars Alan Lee and Gary Roberts, along with young fringe players Darryl Knights, Scott Barron and Chris Casement, are in hot water over the unauthorised jaunt. Ipswich boss […]

Coventry striker up in court

January 9th, 2007

Coventry striker and kebab lover, Kevin Kyle, is facing two charges of breach of the peace following incidents in his hometown of Stranraer last year. A footballer? Being a rowdy bugger? Get outta town! The Scotland international, who joined the Championship outfit from Sunderland, is accused of shouting and swearing in the Harbour Street and […]

When I heard that Graham Souness was to take control of Wolves, I naturally thought it would be something like a fight to the death with an entire pack. Well, it isn’t. Old pig heart, Graeme Souness, has claimed that he’s made a £20m bid to take control of Wolves, despite the club denying the […]

Up the people says Steve Bruce

January 8th, 2007

Thanks to some terrible photoshopping from me, Steve Bruce has become the country’s leading socialist after claims that the magic of the FA Cup is on the wane after inflated ticket prices kept real fans away from the grounds this weekend. Bruce said; "Third round day was always a big date in my diary but […]

Rangers manager Paul Le Guen has left the club by mutual consent after a difficult couple of weeks at Ibrox. The Frenchman had recently stripped Barry Ferguson of the captaincy after claiming the player was undermining him in the dressing room. Le Guen then gave the armband to Gavin Rae who admitted that he was […]

As you can see from this picture here, Wigan Athletic have been suffering when it comes to getting bodies through the turnstyles. Recently, Paul Jewell has been frustrated at the low attendances which saw them cut the price of tickets for the Chelsea game to £15, sparking a virtual sell-out. However, the gate dropped dramatically […]

Beckham off to San Siro?

January 3rd, 2007

http://www.davidbeckham.com.ar/david-beckham-5.jpg If you believe the gossip, David Beckham currently has two offers if he want to leave Real Madrid this month. There is talk of him going to join the misfits at the Reebok Stadium to play for Bolton Wanderers. As unlikely as that seems, the rumours persist. However, there are now rumours that he could be on his way to…

http://www.4thegame.com/media/00/02/85/benayoun_yossi_whfc_profile_2005.jpg Yossi Benayoun has hit out at West Ham’s performances, highlighting the 6-0 annihilation at Reading. Benayoun, who originally turned down a move to Bolton Wanderers, now 4th in the table said “I am ashamed. I am shocked at the way we played. We played like a bunch of drunks…

I normally have a little whince when there is a horror injury in football, but I’m strong of stomach and watch on largely unflustered. However, that changed yesterday when I screamed like a girl when Antti Niemi fell on his neck and went all wrong-ways. Well, after being aghast at the whole thing, I was thrilled to hear that he’s been released from hospital after doctors cleared him of any spinal injuries…

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/writers/jonah_freedman/10/06/world.rankings/p1_terry_1005.jpg Chelsea hope to have John Terry back in action within a matter of weeks, after he undergoing surgery on his back injury. The England skipper has not featured in the Blues’ last three Premiership matches, in which they have conceded six goals and fallen four points behind leaders Manchester United…

A takeover deal to secure the future of Cardiff City FC has been signed just minutes before deadline. There were fears that the club could have been put into administration if a deal was not done by noon on today (Friday) but director Steve Borley confirmed the agreement was struck at 11.45 this morning to […]

Paul Jewell has leapt salmon-like to the defence of Chelsea gaffer Jose Mourinho after he received a fair bit of criticism for ‘card-waving’ at Newcastle. The Portuguese has been criticised for attempting (allegedly) to influence officials, but Jewell, whose Wigan side face the Blues at the JJB Stadium tomorrow, is adamant there are bigger fish […]

http://www.4thegame.com/media/00/03/31/Ibrahima_Sonko_Reading_Profile_2005.jpg Reading’s Ibrahima Sonko says he is “scared” ahead of the clash at Chelsea after receiving numerous death threats after his collision with Oilers’ keeper Carlo Cudicini. The Italian was hurt in a collision with Sonko in October, the same game that also saw Petr Cech suffer head injuries and John Terry take up a position between the sticks…

Charlton chairman Richard Murray has given his backing to woeful manager Les Reed and said that the Addicks’ board will provide funds for new signings in January….

http://www.football.co.uk/shared/images/teams/bury.jpg Bury have been chucked out of the FA Cup for fielding an ineligible player in their 3-1 second-round replay win over Chester City on 12 December. Chester, who are surely buzzing their tits off, have now been reinstated and will play Ipswich in the third round as well as receiving all the cash that comes with being in the second round…

Aston Villa, Newcastle and Middlesbrough battle it out for newly-appointed England spokesman Joey Barton [Mail]Blackburn want to sign former player David Dunn from Birmingham [Mirror] And, in a happy turn of events, Birmingham want to sell him [Planet Blues] Villa boss Martin O’Neill wants to sign Leicester City defender Richard Stearman, not to be confused […]

http://www.lancs.ac.uk/ug/jamesm2/image1.jpg Attention fans who are thinking of going to the Liverpool/Arsenal Carling Cup match tonight. The quarter-final tie is in doubt due to Anfield being shrouded in dense, thick, pea-soupy fog and a pitch inspection due at 18.15 pm…

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/images/wembley_10.jpg The German Football Association (DFB) have said that their national team will be England’s first opponents in the new Wembley Stadium on 22 August, in 2007. Who else thinks that seems a bit optimistic? Anyway, Germany coach Joachim Low revealed last week that the game was due to go ahead even though the Football Association had not made any announcement of the fixture. Whoops!

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41312000/jpg/_41312422_wembleybo.jpg With Price Harry and Wills announcing a concert for their mum, Princess Diana (deceased) at Wembley stadium, you can’t help but imagine Sir Elton John taking to the stage surrounded by men in hard hats still putting the roof on or something. Well, funny I should mention that, because the hold up has resulted in a bit of legal action.
The Australian developer of Wembley Stadium, Multiplex, is getting…

Tottenham have been drawn against Feyenoord in the last 32 of the Uefa Cup – a repeat of the 1974 final that the Dutch side won 4-2 on aggregate, but may not be able attend the away match. The Uefa Cup game could be held behind closed doors because of possible disciplinary action against the […]

Here are some extra special News Balls dedicated to Les Reed and Alan Curbishley: the men everyone is talking about, apparently! Les warns Alan Curbishley off Darren Bent Why Steven Gerrard hates Les Curbs wants to sign Nigel Reo-Coker And Curbs faces challenge to win over Paul Konchesky [Rob Parker]

http://www.mccallsmokejumpers.org/history/eagle%20parachute%201944.jpg The Premier League bigwigs have ruled out the chance to use foreign referees to officiate in high profile top-flight matches. Didn’t know this could happen? Well, recently German referee Michael Weiner took charge of a Bulgarian league game between Litex Lovech and Levski Sofia.

FA want video to punish divers

December 13th, 2006

The FA is set to lobby Fifa for the introduction of video replays to identify and punish players guilty of diving. Football’s world governing body is set to meet in March and the FA hopes to raise the issue then. “We’ve already asked Fifa to allow retrospective…

Curbs new Hammers boss

December 13th, 2006

http://soccernet-att.espn.go.com/design05/images/domr/AlanCurbishley205_pc_g.jpg Well, with alarming predictability, Alan Curbishley has been unveiled as the new manager of West Ham United. Chairman Egg’ Magnusson moved sharply to appoint the former Charlton gaffer after sacking Alan Pardew on Monday. “I’m deeply delighted,” said Curbishley. “It’s a privilege to be here and I’m looking forward to lifting us out of the position we’re in.” Curbishley will take charge of his new squad for the first time against Manchester United on Sunday. Welcome to the deep end Alan…