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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

Manchester United defenders Wes Brown and Mikael Silvestre are considering their futures at Old Trafford, according to The Sun. The form of January signings Nemanja Vidic (who has been, let’s be honest here, immense) and Patrice Evra plus Gabriel Heinze’s return after injury, have left Brown and Silvestre on the fringes of Sir Alex Ferguson’s […]

Reebok? MY pitch says Jose.

November 28th, 2006

Chelsea gaffer, Jose Mourinho is hoping the sacrifice of staying in the north this week will result in another campaign-defining victory at Bolton. Mourinho’s side have virtually won the title twice at the Reebok and this time, the The Oilers will go into the game knowing three points on Wednesday evening could haul them level […]

West Ham’s Carlos Tevez has said he is sorry for his huge hissy fit that saw him stropping out of Upton Park after he was substituted at the weekend. The Argentine striker was keen to make amends for reacting angrily during the 1-0 win against Sheffield United. He said: "I know I did very wrong […]

Blatter rules out video replays

November 27th, 2006

http://www.dw-world.de/image/0,,1610642_4,00.jpg FIFA president Sepp Blatter (pictured left showing off his footballing skills) has all but ruled out the introduction of video replays saying he would never allow matches to be halted as long as he remained the most powerful figure in world football. Whether he actually said that he was the most powerful figure in world football is debatable. Anyway…

Graham Poll given a rest

November 24th, 2006

Graham ‘F**king’ Poll has been taken out of the Premiership spotlight to protect him from press scrutiny, according to reports. The official line is that Poll is on annual leave, but the Daily Mail (a reputable source of course) claims that Poll has been prevented from refereeing this weekend and during next week’s busy midweek […]

Cricketers still playing footy?

November 23rd, 2006

So, as you mental cricket fas are watching our lads get the living crap kicked out of them by Ricky Ponting in the Ashes, it would seem that our England boys could do with an eagle-eyed fielder to throw down his stumps. Sadly, Gary Pratt, the bloke who achieved cult hero status in 2005 by […]

Barrow defender James Cotterill has been charged with grevious bodily harm for allegedly fracturing the jaw of Bristol Rovers striker Sean Rigg during an FA Cup first round clash. Cotterill is accused of punching Rigg in an off-the-ball incident which was missed by the referee but caught by BBC Match of the Day cameras. A […]

There are currently a couple of tournaments underway masquerading as the World Cup for countries that don’t actually exist. The VIVA World Cup is supposedly the official, unofficial World Cup, but it is nigh on impossible to get any news on the tournament and only four teams are competing (hosts Monaco, South Cameroons, Sami and […]

http://www.morningstaronline.co.uk/var/news/storage/images/sport/boro_court_controversy_over_southgate_job/404153-1-eng-GB/boro_court_controversy_over_southgate_job_medium.jpg Middlesbrough boss Gareth Southgate has admitted that he will be a relieved man when his future is decided at a Premier League board meeting on Wednesday. This meeting will decide whether to extend the 36-year-old’s three-month dispensation to manage without the required qualifications. Southgate told…

Former Portsmouth striker Dario Silva has announced he hopes to compete as a rower at the 2012 Olympics despite having a leg amputation in September. The ex-Uruguay international lost part of his right leg in a car crash, but is hopeful of competing at the London games. He said: "I have a lot of free […]

League Two outfit Torquay United have launched a new initiative which could see players sacked if they repeatedly dive. Chairman Chris Roberts came up with the scheme after being "disgusted" by the amateur dramatics on display at the World Cup. Manager Ian Atkins is backing his chairman’s plan. A three strikes and you’re out system […]

After the Andy Ritchie tribute and at the risk of Pies overdosing on homage, it is now time to doff our Dirk Kuyt baseball caps to the great Paolo Maldini who has announced he will hang up his boots at the end of the season. A great professional, a loyal one-club man and surely one […]

West Ham have announced they have accepted Eggert Magnusson’s £85m takeover bid for the club. Magnusson’s consortium have secured agreements to buy 83% of shares and the Hammers’ board have recommended the offer to remaining shareholders. The Icelander will replace Terry Brown as the chairman at Upton Park, although Brown will stay on at Upton […]

http://www.scottishfootballleague.com/res/images/photos/SFL/CISinsuranceCup2005/gordon_strachan_cis.jpg Wee Gordon Strachan believes that the difference between the SPL and the English Premiership is minimal. Strachan sees his runaway league leaders take on Premiership leaders Man United tonight at Celtic Park and has heightened the pressure before the game by deriding the claims that the English league is the best in the world…

Hearts fans stage protest

November 20th, 2006

http://www.teamtalk.com//Images/86593.jpg Hearts fans are understandably angry at the situation surrounding their club. On Saturday, they staged a protest aimed at daft-as-a-brush owner, Vladimir Romanov after the 1-0 defeat to Rangers. The Jambos chairman remained at his Lithuanian base instead of making the trip to…

Wembley nearly sent the FA under

November 17th, 2006

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41312000/jpg/_41312422_wembleybo.jpg What a surprise. Wembley Stadium (remember that?) nearly brought English football to its knees when it was revealed that the problems surrounding the stadium brought its operating company to the brink of a collapse that would have dragged the FA down with it, according to the FA’s latest accounts…

http://www.4thegame.com/media/00/03/44/gerrard_steven_lfc_profile_2006.jpg Get ready to pick yourself up from the floor. The fat Spanish waiter that is Rafa Benitez is ready to play the world’s best central midfielder in… gulp… centre midfield…

Police are investigating death threats which have been made to the Reading players who were involved in the two incidents that saw Chelsea keepers Petr Cech and Carlo Cudicini badly injured. In the aftermath of the incidents, Ibrahima Sonko and Stephen Hunt have received numerous threatening letters at the club’s Arborfield training ground. Thames Valley […]

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42312000/jpg/_42312792_balls203.jpg Something very odd happened in Macclesfield the other night. During their FA Cup game against Walsall, it started to rain. Instead of the usual North West downpour of water, it rained footballs. Loads of them. Pranksters…

Lord Stevens is being urged to name innocent clubs today that are not involved in his bungs investigation. Several club chairmen will put their case at a meeting today, arguing that their clubs have been tainted by accusations after Lord Stevens announced that there were a total of eight clubs and 39 deals under investigation. […]

Oh look! Another scandal involving football managers! This time it involves betting. The FA is all set to investigate allegations that several Premiership managers have laid bets on top-flight matches. The claims were made by a former employee of bookmakers Victor Chandler. "We will see if there has been any breach of our regulations and […]

This photograph of Gazza was taken shortly before his arrest on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm. I think it is fair to say he was looking worse for wear at the time. Eyewitnesses claim that the 39-year-old racially abused a black photographer and punched another photographer outside the Boujis nightclub, Kensington. He was later […]

http://www.davidbeckham.com.ar/david-beckham-5.jpg David Beckham apparently suffered from ‘psychological difficulties’ after being dropped by Steve McClaren… so reckons Real Madrid manager Fabio Capello. The former ManYoo player resigned as England captain after the World Cup in Germany before being axed from the squad after McClaren succeeded Sven-Goran Eriksson as England manager…

Glenn ‘Boo Hoo Hoo’ Roeder is whining again. He’s hit out at a fixture list which has left his Magpies facing three matches in six days. Newcastle are set to meet Sheffield United on Saturday, two days after facing Palermo in the Uefa Cup, then travel to Watford on Tuesday for a Carling Cup tie. […]