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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

G14 President David Dein backs £20 million payout for Michael Owen’s World Cup injury [Football 365] Republic of Ireland to discuss Sir Bobby Robson‘s future – sounds like a fancy way of saying retirement to me [BBC Sport] Fergie and Mourinho battle it out for Uruguay’s Nery Alberto Castillo (pictured above looking like he might […]

Struggling Greek outfit Panathinaikos are trying to tempt Graeme Souness to become their new manager. The former Newcastle boss has already tried his hand abroad with Galatasaray in Turkey and Benfica in Portugal – where his main achievements included surrounding himself with mediocre British players. Souness has been out of work since being sacked by […]

You will be shocked to read that Joey Barton has been charged with bringing the game into disrepute after mooning Everton fans on Saturday. Barton has until 6pm tomorrow to answer the charge (although quite how he would be able to deny it I’m not sure – the video evidence is pretty conclusive!). The 24-year-old […]

Scary-eyed Croatia boss Slaven Bilic has slagged off England ahead of the two sides’ Euro 2008 qualifier next Wednesday. He said our World Cup performance this summer was ‘defensive and boring’. Cheeky bugger. Bilic told The Sun: ‘They were no good – they were nothing. They were so boring… I have never seen in my […]

Chancellor Gordon Brown has helped convince Trinidad and Tobago defender Marvin Andrews to rejoin former club Raith Rovers. The chancellor – a Raith supporter – met Andrews to discuss the move. Andrews was eager to point out that his decision was based on the persuasion of someone with a bit more power than Gordon Brown […]

Standing joke Stan Collymore has announced he is ready for a return to Premiership football. Whether the Premiership is quite ready for Stan Collymore remains to be seen. I can’t imagine too many managers or chairmen being eager to take a gamble on a 35-year-old who hasn’t played for five years. Stan has been on […]

Manchester City‘s stadium has been chosen to host the Uefa Cup final in 2008. The City of Manchester Stadium – City’s home since 2003 – was selected by Uefa’s executive committee today. The committee turned down Wembley‘s bids for the 2008 or 2009 Champions League final (which is fair enough as it probably won’t have […]

‘I’m fine and I’m happy…’ Dario Silva (pictured) speaks to the media for the first time since his horrific car crash. [Guardian]William Gallas thinks Scotland will be ‘quaking in their boots’ ahead of this weekend’s France v Scotland Euro 2008 qualifier. Cocky shit. Go Scotland! [F365]Sports Illustrated: Andriy Shevchenko is a very expensive decoy for […]

Germany goalkeeper Jens Lehmann is to auction the piece of paper with notes on Argentina players’ penalty habits which he kept down his sock during the World Cup quarter-final shootout. Lehmann was seen reading the note between penalties. The Arsenal keeper claims he struggled to read his pencil scrawl on the sweaty piece of paper […]

I have often thought Thierry Henry would make a great artist. All he needs is a little moustache and a beret. Oh, and some paint obviously. Anyway, he has created a modern art masterpiece to raise money for Bob Wilson‘s Willow Foundation. Tel kicked footballs at cans of paint to make his work of art. […]

Agent Charles Collymore has been charged by the FA for touting one of his players around without the knowledge of his club. Collymore is alleged to have pimped Luton Town‘s Enoch Showunmi (pictured) to Millwall without the knowledge of the Kenilworth Road club. Showunmi is now at Bristol City. Collymore is the agent Luton boss […]

Newcastle goalkeeper Shay Given has told how he passed out in the showers at Upton Park after sustaining a bowel injury in a collision with Marlon Harewood. Given, aged 30, said: "I was stretchered off and thought it was easing. I had a shower, got hit by a pain and then passed out for nine […]

Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon is desperate for David Beckham to extend his stay at the Bernabeu. Becks is currently discussing a new deal but he will be allowed to negotiate with other clubs from 1 January if terms are not agreed – prompting rumours that he may move to the MLS in America. Calderon, […]

The draw for the group stages of this season’s Uefa Cup has just been made, and the remaining British clubs all face tricky assignments. Newcastle Utd have been drawn in the toughest group, Group H, along with Palermo (who demolished West Ham), Celta Vigo (solid Spanish team), Fenerbahce (always a tough place to visit) and […]

Everton’s Andy Johnson has pulled out of the England squad for the upcoming Euro 2008 qualifying matches against Macedonia and Croatia. The 25-year-old picked up a hamstring injury in the last minute of Saturday’s 1-1 draw against Man City. A great shame for England, ’cause he’s in fine form right now. Charlton’s Darren Bent will […]

Tottenham boss Martin Jol’s latest purchase seems to be a timeshare in Arsene enger’s rose-tinted specs. The rotund Dutchman claims that midfielder Didier Zokora was off-balance when he ‘accidentally’ won the match-winning penalty for Spurs against Portsmouth yesterday. "He said he was off-balance and assured me he didn’t dive.I know this player and I have […]

Police are to investigate television pictures which showed Manchester City‘s Joey Barton exposing his backside to Everton fans after yesterday’s match. The BBC reports that Barton could face police and disciplinary action over the incident. Manchester City manager Stuart Pearce suggested (quite bizarrely) that the incident may have been due to jibes about his side’s […]

Wayne Rooney clocks up some overtime [Guardian] Spurs will bid £10 million for Joe Cole [Team Talk] Mido takes a swipe at Sol Campbell [Guardian] Sven set for Inter Milan [Mirror] Tim Lovejoy reckons Shevchenko will come good. Breathe easy, Chelsea fans [The Sun]

Every man and his dog knows Ben Thatcher stuck one on Pedro Mendes, but the police do not think they could get anything to stick on Thatcher. In a statement released today, Greater Manchester Police said that Thatcher would not face charges for his elbow on Mendes and that the matter would be dealt with […]

At least 20 West Ham fans were arrested and another six injured after ‘a huge battle’ with Palermo supporters in Sicily last night. The two clubs play each other tonight, in the second leg of their Uefa Cup tie. Palermo won the first leg 1-0 and are strong favourites to progress to the lucrative group […]

Arsene Wenger has been told he has a job for life at Arsenal by vice-chairman David Dein. Dein made the pledge as he congratulated Wenger on his ten years as Arsenal manager. The BBC has put together a very nice feature looking at Wenger’s decade with Arsenal, including this picture looking at Wenger then and […]

Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes is in hot water with gay rights group OutRage! after an alleged homophobic insult during the match against Benfica last night. Scholes appeared to call Petit a ‘f***ing poof’ after being booked for a tackle on the Portuguese international. Peter Tatchell, of OutRage!, said: "We urge Paul to apologise and […]

It’s the news we’ve all been waiting for! Barclays has renewed its sponsorship deal with the FA Premier League in a contract worth £65.8m. Phew, that’s a relief. The new deal will take the bank’s sponsorship of the Premiership up to 2010 (the future!), in a two-year extension to Barclays’ current contract. I don’t know […]

Former Premier League referee Jeff Winter has named Lee Bowyer, Danny Mills and Tomas Repka as the worst players he had to officiate in his time in the game. He said: "The players I used to hate facing were Danny Mills, Lee Bowyer and Tomas Repka, to name three. Most players I could have a […]