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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

Emre in race row again

February 16th, 2007

The FA are to launch a second investigation into claims that Newcastle midfielder Emre used racist language. A newspaper report today alleged the  Turkey international, who has already been charged by the FA with using racially-aggravated language during the defeat at Everton on December 30, made a comment to Bolton striker El-Hadji Diouf during a […]

Platini wants two refs

February 15th, 2007

Michel ‘Mental’ Platini, once one of the greatest players in the universe has failed to impress me with his ideas to make football more beautiful as UEFA President. He’s already said that he’d like a limit of three Champions League places per country, and now the Frenchman has now put forward a proposal for games […]

England reduce friendlies

February 15th, 2007

In what seems like a move in damage limitation, England have scaled down their schedule of friendly matches from 20 to 18 over the four-year period from 2008. Steve ‘Malcolm’ McClaren had made it clear that he was in favour of scrapping some in favour of longer training camps. "I want the flexibility to be […]

Message to Big Sam: Oh do shut up

February 15th, 2007

In the wake of Bolton’s 3-1 defeat by Arsenal last night, Sam Allardyce couldn’t resist having a pop at referee Chris Foy: ‘There were three bookings in the game and somehow, Tal [Ben Haim] has picked up two of them,’ Sam said. ‘I appreciate he might have pulled Baptista back on the second occasion but […]

Remember LA Galaxy’s open trials to fund David Beckham’s wages with money paid by deluded twentysomethings attract new talent to the club? Well, as if the Beckham media circus wasn’t enough reality TV for the club they now seem to be setting up an X Factor/American Idol-style showdown. The 800 hopefuls have been whittled down […]

Catania suspended from stadium

February 14th, 2007

Catania have been ordered to play the remainder of their home games at neutral venues this season after their Massimino stadium was shut down. Italian Judge, Gianpaolo Tosel, gave the ban and stated that the Sicilian club’s responsiblity for the violence that led to the death of policeman Filippo Raciti at the club’s derby against […]

Before I start, I’ll apologize to Football365 for blatantly pinching an article from their site. Anyway, on with the news. Samuel Eto’o is a very unhappy man. The world saw Eto’o going mental with the Spanish press after a dispute with Barca manager, Frank Rijkaard. The Dutchman has accused Eto’o of refusing to come on […]

QPR’s assistant manager, Richard Hill, has been suspended "until further notice" following the brawl during a training match against China’s Olympic team. China player Zheng Tao suffered a broken jaw during the incident at QPR’s training ground on 7 February. The FA is also investigating and is "in ongoing communication with the police". Some QPR […]

Former Manchester United winger and all round twinkle toes Andrei Kanchelskis has decided to retire from football. Kanchelskis, now 38-years-old, said: "You need to leave at the right time. Now seems a suitable moment to begin a new chapter in my footballing life," added Kanchelskis, who will be deciding his plans in the coming weeks. […]

Now, this is sneaky. The government have spotted that our beloved English national side is so lacklustre that the only chance we’ll have of qualifying in the future is if we get through automatically as hosts. The English FA has yet to announce that it is going to bid for hosting the 2018 World Cup. […]

Almost inevitably, David Beckham scored on his return to the Real Madrid starting lineup following Fabio Capello’s U-turn over his prospects for the rest of the season. The Real coach went back on his vow to never play Beckham again before his move to LA Galaxy, and the change of heart paid off as the […]

Tottenham UEFA bye confirmed

February 9th, 2007

Spurs’ bye into the last 16 of the Uefa Cup has been confirmed after Feyenoord lost their appeal against being kicked out of the competition. The Dutch club were expelled and fined £41,000 by Uefa following crowd trouble against French side Nancy in the group stage. They appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport […]

Beckham gets Real recall

February 9th, 2007

David Beckham has been recalled to Real Madrid’s squad for the game against Real Sociedad in La Liga on Saturday, according to Spanish national radio. Fabio Capello had previously stated that Beckham would never play for the Galacticos again after agreeing a move to LA Galaxy next season. However, Capello has been forced into a […]

Former England striker Stan Collymore is one of the celebrity jurors in a mock trial to be shown on BBC Two from Sunday night. The Verdict is a four-part series which will see the jury in court and deliberating over the fictional trial of a footballer in a rape case. If that doesn’t already sound […]

Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo has received a £1,000 speeding fine and had six points put on his licence. The punishment came from Manchester Magistrates’ Court rather than Tottenham left-back Lee Young-Pyo, who could be forgiven for wishing Ronaldo had a speed limit on the pitch. Ronaldo, of Stockport (does that sound wrong to anyone […]

Italian football could restart on Sunday, according to Luca Pancalli, commissioner of the Italian Federation. Serie A and B clubs meet on Tuesday to discuss the government proposal of closing stadia deemed unsafe to fans. The move follows the cancellation of weekend football after a policemen was killed during clashes between fans. Pancalli said: "There […]

Steve ‘Malcolm’ McClaren plans to use the 4-3-3 formation that was used against Holland in the 1-1 draw in November. However, he might have a bit of a problem with Wayne Rooney looking crocked. His other options look a bit ropey too following the withdrawal of Everton’s Andrew ‘I didn’t dive honest’ Johnson. The England […]

England’s new kit is rubbish

February 5th, 2007

Ladies and Gents, let Pies be the first to pass judgement on the new England home shirt. It’s shit. This really is the worst England shirt that Pies have ever seen, and can only hope that this is some terrible mistake. Surely the blind morons designers at Umbro can come up with something a bit […]

The Italian Olympic Committee (CONI) is meeting the government on Monday to decide when Italian football resumes after hooligans killed an Italian policeman. All weekend matches, as well as an international against Romania, were cancelled. The meeting will take place after the funeral of Filippo Raciti, who died in the riots. The funeral of the […]

Tories in favour of terraces?

February 1st, 2007

For many, football has become a little stale since the introduction of seats. Obviously, since the introduction of all seaters stadium, football has been a lot safer, and more pleasant for families when attending matches. However, one of the major drawbacks in the lack of atmosphere. When the grounds had terraces, all the ‘singers’ would […]

Man City‘s gaffer, Stuart Pearce has admitted to having a "brief conversation" with the Football Association over the possibility of succeeding Peter Taylor as the manager of the England Under 21 side. On stepping down, Crystal Palace boss Taylor said: "Anybody coming in would have to commit a lot to the job." Psycho feels that […]

Fancy being an England mascot?

January 25th, 2007

How do you fancy leading out England as a mascot at Old Trafford before the team face Spain on Wednesday 7th February in front of thousands of fans? Sadly, this offer isn’t open to us blokes. However, if you have a nipper aged between seven and eleven years old who is up for it, the […]

Spurs get a bye in UEFA Cup

January 25th, 2007

Jammy Tottenham have been given a bye into the last 16 of the Uefa Cup. Of course, this is subject to a possible appeal from scheduled opponents Feyenoord. The Dutch club were thrown out of the competition following crowd trouble earlier in the season against French side Nancy. Of course, Feyenoord are certain to appeal […]

The race for the Premier League title is getting serious with the Mirror reporting that a spy plane recorded aerial footage of a secret Manchester United training session. The tabloid claims a secret client hired a converted Cessna aeroplane to film United players training at their Carrington base. Footage and stills of the private training […]