25 Footballers With Astoundingly Crap Wikipedia Profile Photos

Chris Wright

27th, February 2013

18 Comments

By Chris Wright

Exactly what it says on the tin: a 25-strong compendium of some of the very worst Wikipedia profile photos assigned to members of the footballing community available on the internet today.

Hold tight, find something to bite down on and awaaaaaay we go…

1. Bob Wilson

Taken while Bob was filling up at an Asda petrol station no less…

2. Salomon Kalou

Just having a quick rummage…

3. Dean Holdsworth

Mmmm. Sexy self-shot…

4. Rene Higuita

Sweet padded Reusch gillet you got there Rene…

5. Pablo Aimar

Presumably chosen as, at a diddy 5’7” on his tip-toes, this is the only header he’s ever won?

6. Ally McCoist

Alistair Murdoch “Wet Look” McCoist…

7. Ray Houghton

They’ve really captured Ray’s best side with this one…

8. Goran Pandev

Would it be remiss of us to pass on a ‘cockpit’ quip here?

9. Edin Dzeko

If you had a penny for every pixel in Dzeko’s profile shot you still wouldn’t have a penny…

10. Jay Bothroyd

Like a grainy still from a Crimewatch reenactment…

11. Paul Ince

We get the ominous feeling that the Guvnor’s photo was cropped like this for a reason…

12. Hermann Hreidarsson

Obviously taken by the same guy that did Dzeko’s…

13. Clayton Blackmore

You can just tell his love for you will still be strong, even after the boys of summer have gone…

14. Denis Irwin

Round the back of the bins. How fitting…

15. Kenny Dalglish

King Kenny in his element…

16. Thomas Hassler

Fleeing the scene…

17. Ray Parlour

Look everybody, it’s retired former women’s tennis champion Ray Parlour…

18. Neil Ruddock (since removed)

Nom nom nom slaver slaver slaver…

19. Eyal Berkovic

Eyal’s got his glad rags on…

20. Bixente Lizarazu

The former France left-back, seen here at actual size…

21. Raul

HI GUYS!!!

22. Des Walker

Table for one please…

23. Yossi Benayoun

Oh hey there Yossi, what ya doing?

24. Gheorghe Hagi

Tennis? Really?

25. Duncan Ferguson

Seems there was a reason Big Dunc didn’t smile a lot…

Bonus bits and bobs…

Sammy Igoe’s profile shot (courtesy of @mikejjennings), which includes the fantastic caveat “Igoe not pictured”…

For some reason Terry Venables’ Wiki is adorned by a photo of his Spitting Images puppet (via Anonymous)…

Any more for any more? If you’ve stumbled across a woeful footballing Wiki pic on your travels then feel free to share…

Mucho thanks to The Dubious Goals Committee for rounding-up some of the pics and all the card-carrying members of the Pies faithful that helped out with the sourcing on Twitter.

You guys are truly the bomb diggity.

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