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Who ate all the pies

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This spoof of Wayne Rooney’s Put It Where You Want It campaign for his new Nike boots shows Reading centre-back Michael Duberry putting it exactly where he wants it – right on top of Wazza’s paper-thin boots. Crunch goes the metatarsal.

Everton piled the pressure on Spurs boss Martin Jol with a 1-3 victory at White Hart Lane. Joleon Lescott headed Everton into an early lead after losing ‘marker’ Anthony Gardner. Gardner returned the favour by exposing Lescott’s slack marking to equalise. A second goal of the season for Leon Osman and a deflected free-kick from Alan Stubbs completed the victory.

_42023998_keane300.jpgOur question asking whether footballers are under the thumb seems to have been answered by that eternal fountain of testosterone himself, Roy Keane.

The England squad is in crisis at the moment. Why? We’ve got no strikers. Don’t think it’s that bad? Well, Steve McClaren does as he sets off for a trip to White Hart Lane this evening to watch the three leading contenders to replace Wayne Rooney in the forthcoming Euro 2008 qualifiers. Crouchistuta finds himself […]

Okay, you obviously don’t need any other football quiz once you’ve tackled The Fiendish Friday Quiz on Pies, but for those of you who can’t wait until then, you may be interested to know that you can tackle (studs up) a history of football quiz on the UKTV History website. Click here to have a […]

75961861.jpgThailand’s Supreme Court has issued a warrant for the arrest of ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, and Manchester City chairman, on corruption charges. Shinawatra failed to attend court in Bangkok as the court was to hear the first of a series of cases being brought against the former leader, who was ousted in a military coup last year…

Is it a My Little Pony? Is it Emmanuel Petit’s greasy brother? Is it Fabien Barthez in a wig? No, it’s Liverpool’s summer signing Andriy Voronin. The Ukrainian first came onto our Horror Hair radar when we picked up reports of a ponytail thrashing around pitches in Germany during the 2006 World Cup. And here he is in the Premier League and, indeed at Anfield, the rightful home of Horror Hair.
(Photo by MN Chan/Getty Images)

GudNeill.JPGWest Ham are starting to see why most clubs like to have some sort of wage structure in place. Barcelona forward Eidur Gudjohnsen is stalling over an £80,000 a week offer from the Hammers because he wants £100,000. It would be easy to blame the ex-Chelsea man and accuse him of greed, but if I was a player of Gudjohnsen’s class I would want to be a few leaps up the salary scale away from £60,000 a week Lucas Neill!

Bayern Munich are playing the part of Liverpool this season. With their pedigree and tradition last season’s fourth place finish in the Bundesliga just wasn’t good enough. And while the Reds of Anfield have settled for nearly two decades without a domestic title before this summer’s mammoth spending, Die Roten of Bavaria have instantly splashed the cash to get their title back. And the ploy seems to have paid off.

When we have a bit of handbags in the Premier League it always gets blown out of proportion, but if you want to see a proper scuffle you need to head to South America or Turkey. And it was from the latter that the following crazy video is taken. In some weird microcosm of a Middle East crisis, a brawl broke out at the game between Trabzonspor and Sivasspor after after a bad tackle by Egyptian Abdelaziz Aiman on Israeli Pini Balili. This encouraged the Turks to get involved, including those in the stands. Silvasspor’s Mehmet Yildiz was hit in the face by a fan leading the referee to abandon the game.

Cheeky chappy Craig Bellamy just can’t hold his tongue. Here he is signing autographs for West Ham fans when one asks for his thoughts on Kieron Dyer (who at this stage is on the verge of a move to Upton Park). Craig the populist takes over Craig the professional, and can’t resist splurting out: “He’s like Reo-Coker, except he can play.”

As we mentioned on Friday, Pies is serving up a lot more continental dishes this season for you to enjoy alongside the bread and butter of your Premier League news, banter, videos and pictures. So following the inaugural French Football Friday, welcome to La Liga Lunes. You’ve guessed it, our weekly round-up of Spanish football.

76058826.jpgEvery man and his dog had, pre-season, predicted big things for Spurs this season. All eyes looked toward them as a challenger for the sacred top 4 finish. Every Londoncentric person that is. You see, for me, Spurs look almost identical to last season, and while there is no doubt that they’ve added some quality to their squad this summer, they are, in essence, the same team. Over on SpursPies, before the game, all were predicting 3-1 and 2-0 victories. A comfortable margin to win a game by. As we all know, The Mackems spoiled the party (for Spurs fans at least)…

tardelli.jpgLike Tardelli’s eye-bulging, neck vein throbbing celebration in the ’82 World Cup, Pies once again celebrates a weekend of glory. Not only was it the first game of the season (which saw some disappointment for Pies writers), but it…

What the flip? Just when you think you have seen it all, you find a video of Blackburn Rovers duo David Bentley and David Dunn enjoying a camp-as-you-like nightclub dance-off. The footage comes from Squires Nightclub in Preston – classy looking establishment – and shows the two Davids getting down and dirty as Benni McCarthy watches on.

neilmcdonald.jpgUnbelievable. Only one game into the new season, and Carlisle have already decided to part company with their manager Neil McDonald. McDonald…

There is no euphamisms at work in this headline, thankfully. This video shows Zizou having a kickabout with his children in the garden. If you though Walcott was the only up and coming Theo in the world of football, think again. Theo Zidane is also a bit tasty as are his brothers Enzo (who we already knew about) and Luca. Here they are showing that they are all chips of the old block, and also highlighting why daddy was never renowned for his world class defending!

No, we are not advocating FIFA introducing another needless competition with a name like the European Inter-League Champions Toto Mickey Mouse Under 21 Cup, but following the under 21 European Championshups this summer Pies has but together a dream team outfit featuring the pick of the Premier League’s youngsters.

With Wayne Rooney almost certainly out of England’s forthcoming Euro 2008 qualifiers with yet another case of knackered metatarsal, Pies has to pose the inevitable question: who is Steve McClaren going to play up front? Michael Owen has barely kicked a pre-season ball so even he might be out of contention. Click your two choices from the list below (or add another suggestion as a comment). We will take the top two as the Pies chosen strikeforce.

Following yesterday’s imaginatively titled Part One, today Pies profiles the home kits of the 10 Premiership teams who would have their names called at last on the school register.
Man%20City%20home%20kit.JPGManchester City
There is a hint of baseball to Citeh’s new shirt, with its rather fetching white pinstripes. Reebok are out and French brand Le Coq Sportif (currently enjoying a Lazarus-style revival) are in. Last season’s white sleeves are also ditched, and on reflection it is probably a good call. Click here to buy it from Kitbag.

If you’ve not yet had a munch on our new blog Spurs Pies, then what are you waiting for. It’s just like this one, but it’s all about Tottenham Hotspur, what more can you ask for.
Well maybe ones for Arsenal, Chelsea, Man United and Liverpool – so we’ve got them too.
Anyway, check the links below for the best of Spurs…

Maybe not at first glance but next time take a look at ITV sports presenter, Jim Rosenthal, and you’ll see he bears an odd resemblance to Sesame Street’s number loving vampire – Ah, Ah, Ah

Tim Lovejoy and Danny DeVito’s stunt doubles team up with YouTube superstar and football know-it-all Susi Weaser to deliver the first ever Pies Premiership Preview. Here Pies ed Ollie (the TJ lookey-likey – not really, but hey…) attempts to guess what this week’s scores will be while being constantly interrupted by the other two. Please […]

manu-badge.jpgNow, to our glory hunting Manchester United fans (I’m kidding! I’m kidding! Back off!) to find out about their dreams of silverware and stuff. I interviewed the main lad at new Shiny blog, ManUnitedPies, and found that he was very busy, and therefore, a bit short on words… but you would be if you’d been gloating all summer at Chelsea fans…

liverpoolbadgeanfield.jpgYet more fans spouting off about their new signings and their loathing for rival teams? Great! This is what we want. Now, we visit Anfield where they’re all a bit excited about a certain Spanish striker… and likening Rafa to Nick Leeson… oh, and our scouse blogger comes from new Pies affiliate, LiverpoolPies!
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