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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Owen Hargreaves has accused Real Madrid of responding in a "spiteful" manner to David Beckham’s impending exit. The Bayern Munich midfielder, and England team-mate of Beckham at last summer’s World Cup, believes Beckham "will have the last laugh" over his controversial switch to Major League Soccer outfit LA Galaxy. His summer exit from the Bernabeu […]

When people look back on great players, one name is often omitted. That name is Mark Hughes. ‘Sparky’ had spells at Barca (where they called him Leslie), Bayern as well as spells at Everton, Chelsea, Southampton and Blackburn. However, it’s his time at ManYoo where he’ll be remembered best for his explosive finishes… and curly […]

Not content with his attempts to wrangle the Premier League trophy back from Chelsea, Cristiano Ronaldo has now taken it upon himself to save football from the demons of the underworld! Cristiano Ronaldo Underworld Football is a bizarre mobile phone game which I’d like to imagine was designed by some drunken computer geeks at a […]

This footage from Barcelona‘s defeat away at city rivals Espanyol on Saturday shows a frustrated Frank Rijkaard smashing the dugout as his side go 2-1 down. They eventually lost the match 3-1. [Rob Parker]

Petr Cech has revealed that he will have to play in a rugby-style headguard for the next three years to protect his fractured skull. The Chelsea keeper returns to full training today and will be sporting his custom-made head gear, which includes a protective metal plate. Cech said: "It doesn’t limit me, I’ve been training […]

Crisis club Chelsea – although second in the Premiership is the kind of crisis most clubs would kill for – are fair game at the moment. And Arsenal‘s Alexander Hleb has taken the opportunity to have a potshot. The Belarussian has claimed Andriy Shevchenko is too old to adapt to the English game. Hleb, aged […]

When Sylvester Stallone put in an appearance at Goodison Park before Everton‘s game against Reading yesterday carrying a few extra pounds than when his first Rocky film came out in 1976, there was a certain resemblance to a real-life sporting legend with his own weight problems. [Rob Parker]

This spectacular own goal was scored by China‘s Yan Wung in a pre-World Cup friendly against France. Own goals are often comical, but there can’t have been too many volleyed from the edge of the area so this is a bit special! Surely up there with the Chris Brass’ of this world! [Rob Parker]

I personally wouldn’t have had a problem with him taking helm of club & country, at the same time. But it looks like the SFA have scored a spectacular own-goal on demanding he sides with one – or the other. I always assumed you find a replacement before ‘shooting yourself in the foot’. Where will […]

Barrow defender James Cotterill was sentenced to four months in prison for smashing a rival player’s jaw during an FA Cup match. It is thought to be the first time in recent history a football player has been jailed in England for an offence on the pitch. Cotterill pleaded guilty to punching Bristol Rovers striker […]

With the news that Djimi Traore has joined Portsmouth from Charlton for £1m, let’s look at the great man in action. Slightly unfair to compare him to Zizou… but funny all the same. [Mof Gimmers]

Chelsea special one Jose Mourinho has accused the Stamford Bridge board of refusing to back him in the January transfer window. It would seem Jose doesn’t think he’s had enough money already! Reports have already suggested Mourinho could leave in the summer after a fall-out with owner Roman Abramovich and Mourinho said: "I’ve identified the […]

League Two side Wycombe Wanderers held Chelsea to a 1-1 draw in the first leg of their Carling Cup semi-final. A Jermaine Easter equaliser on 77 minutes was enough to keep the Chairboys in the tie ahead of the second-leg at Stamford Bridge on 23 January. Wayne Bridge had earlier put Chelsea in front with […]

Manchester City manager Stuart Pearce has insisted that Micah Richards, Sylvain Distin and Joey Barton will not be leaving the club. Rumours have been rife that the coveted trio are on their way out of Eastlands. Pearce told the Manchester Evening News: "We want to keep the top players. We have not had enquiries and […]

I don’t think we’ve featured this classic footballing moment before, but Bruce Grobbelaar and his wobbly legs is always worth seeing again. You surely need balls of steel to do something like this in a European Cup final… still, it paid off for Grobs as Liverpool beat Roma to lift the trophy.

I feel sorry for Birmingham City’s fans. I really do. The real ones are being kept out of the ground by over inflated ticket prices and they constantly live in the shadow of their arch rivals Aston Villa. Well, to make matters far worse, their own beloved club have shat on them as well with […]

Rafael Benitez has issued an apology to Liverpool fans following their 6-3 trouncing by Arsenal at Anfield last night: "It is a bad night for us all and all we can say is sorry to the supporters." He avoided blaming Jerzy Dudek for his first-half blunders, saying: "Now is not the time to point the […]

Following yesterday’s tribute to goalscoring Brazilian keeper Rogerio Ceni, it is time to remind ourselves of the goals of Peter Schmeichel. The red-nosed Dane is arguably the finest rush goalie to have graced the English game. He might not be as prolific as Rogerio, but he has still scored a couple of crackers. More football […]

Five Ipswich Town players have been disciplined for taking a two-day break in Amsterdam last week ahead of their FA Cup tie against Chester City. First team regulars Alan Lee and Gary Roberts, along with young fringe players Darryl Knights, Scott Barron and Chris Casement, are in hot water over the unauthorised jaunt. Ipswich boss […]

As Graeme Souness bids to buy Wolverhampton Wanderers, Pies celebrates some of English football’s more unusual and colourful owners.

A host of English and Scottish clubs are currently battling it out to capture 16-year-old Hamilton Academical wonderkid Jamie McCarthy. The midfielder/Neil Lennon Mini-Me scored his first senior goal against Livingston at the weekend.

The poor sound quality on this video from Baddiel and Skinner‘s Fantasy Football is worth putting up with to see some excellent funny football moments, including a goalkeeper’s goal to put even Rogerio Ceni to shame. [Rob Parker]

Coventry striker and kebab lover, Kevin Kyle, is facing two charges of breach of the peace following incidents in his hometown of Stranraer last year. A footballer? Being a rowdy bugger? Get outta town! The Scotland international, who joined the Championship outfit from Sunderland, is accused of shouting and swearing in the Harbour Street and […]

With Obafemi Martins being touted to Chelsea (and why not?), it’s worth noting that, in essence, Obi Martins has always been ace.  Want proof? Watch his first goal for Nigeria against Ireland when he was just a slip of a lad at 19 years old. Great pace and sweet finish with the outside of the […]

When I heard that Graham Souness was to take control of Wolves, I naturally thought it would be something like a fight to the death with an entire pack. Well, it isn’t. Old pig heart, Graeme Souness, has claimed that he’s made a £20m bid to take control of Wolves, despite the club denying the […]