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Who ate all the pies

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Cheeky chappy Craig Bellamy just can’t hold his tongue. Here he is signing autographs for West Ham fans when one asks for his thoughts on Kieron Dyer (who at this stage is on the verge of a move to Upton Park). Craig the populist takes over Craig the professional, and can’t resist splurting out: “He’s like Reo-Coker, except he can play.”

As we mentioned on Friday, Pies is serving up a lot more continental dishes this season for you to enjoy alongside the bread and butter of your Premier League news, banter, videos and pictures. So following the inaugural French Football Friday, welcome to La Liga Lunes. You’ve guessed it, our weekly round-up of Spanish football.

76058826.jpgEvery man and his dog had, pre-season, predicted big things for Spurs this season. All eyes looked toward them as a challenger for the sacred top 4 finish. Every Londoncentric person that is. You see, for me, Spurs look almost identical to last season, and while there is no doubt that they’ve added some quality to their squad this summer, they are, in essence, the same team. Over on SpursPies, before the game, all were predicting 3-1 and 2-0 victories. A comfortable margin to win a game by. As we all know, The Mackems spoiled the party (for Spurs fans at least)…

tardelli.jpgLike Tardelli’s eye-bulging, neck vein throbbing celebration in the ’82 World Cup, Pies once again celebrates a weekend of glory. Not only was it the first game of the season (which saw some disappointment for Pies writers), but it…

What the flip? Just when you think you have seen it all, you find a video of Blackburn Rovers duo David Bentley and David Dunn enjoying a camp-as-you-like nightclub dance-off. The footage comes from Squires Nightclub in Preston – classy looking establishment – and shows the two Davids getting down and dirty as Benni McCarthy watches on.

neilmcdonald.jpgUnbelievable. Only one game into the new season, and Carlisle have already decided to part company with their manager Neil McDonald. McDonald…

There is no euphamisms at work in this headline, thankfully. This video shows Zizou having a kickabout with his children in the garden. If you though Walcott was the only up and coming Theo in the world of football, think again. Theo Zidane is also a bit tasty as are his brothers Enzo (who we already knew about) and Luca. Here they are showing that they are all chips of the old block, and also highlighting why daddy was never renowned for his world class defending!

No, we are not advocating FIFA introducing another needless competition with a name like the European Inter-League Champions Toto Mickey Mouse Under 21 Cup, but following the under 21 European Championshups this summer Pies has but together a dream team outfit featuring the pick of the Premier League’s youngsters.

With Wayne Rooney almost certainly out of England’s forthcoming Euro 2008 qualifiers with yet another case of knackered metatarsal, Pies has to pose the inevitable question: who is Steve McClaren going to play up front? Michael Owen has barely kicked a pre-season ball so even he might be out of contention. Click your two choices from the list below (or add another suggestion as a comment). We will take the top two as the Pies chosen strikeforce.

Following yesterday’s imaginatively titled Part One, today Pies profiles the home kits of the 10 Premiership teams who would have their names called at last on the school register.
Man%20City%20home%20kit.JPGManchester City
There is a hint of baseball to Citeh’s new shirt, with its rather fetching white pinstripes. Reebok are out and French brand Le Coq Sportif (currently enjoying a Lazarus-style revival) are in. Last season’s white sleeves are also ditched, and on reflection it is probably a good call. Click here to buy it from Kitbag.

If you’ve not yet had a munch on our new blog Spurs Pies, then what are you waiting for. It’s just like this one, but it’s all about Tottenham Hotspur, what more can you ask for.
Well maybe ones for Arsenal, Chelsea, Man United and Liverpool – so we’ve got them too.
Anyway, check the links below for the best of Spurs…

Maybe not at first glance but next time take a look at ITV sports presenter, Jim Rosenthal, and you’ll see he bears an odd resemblance to Sesame Street’s number loving vampire – Ah, Ah, Ah

Tim Lovejoy and Danny DeVito’s stunt doubles team up with YouTube superstar and football know-it-all Susi Weaser to deliver the first ever Pies Premiership Preview. Here Pies ed Ollie (the TJ lookey-likey – not really, but hey…) attempts to guess what this week’s scores will be while being constantly interrupted by the other two. Please […]

manu-badge.jpgNow, to our glory hunting Manchester United fans (I’m kidding! I’m kidding! Back off!) to find out about their dreams of silverware and stuff. I interviewed the main lad at new Shiny blog, ManUnitedPies, and found that he was very busy, and therefore, a bit short on words… but you would be if you’d been gloating all summer at Chelsea fans…

liverpoolbadgeanfield.jpgYet more fans spouting off about their new signings and their loathing for rival teams? Great! This is what we want. Now, we visit Anfield where they’re all a bit excited about a certain Spanish striker… and likening Rafa to Nick Leeson… oh, and our scouse blogger comes from new Pies affiliate, LiverpoolPies!
Hello? Who are you?

As the season draws ever nearer (tomorrow! TOMORROW!), I’ll be throwing a few of these up before anyone can get depressed/begin dreams of winning the league after 90 minutes of football. So, the latest to offer their tuppence is a proud Mackem who wants nothing but bad for the Geordies and is keen to see […]

Spurs%20Badge.jpgWe’ve heard from quite a few bloggers about the imminent Premier League season, and now, we get to see what a Spurs fan thinks and how they will fare. Will they push for 4th? Well, it would annoy the Gooners eh? What’s more, this Spurs fan is the main boy at Shiny’s new Tottenham blog, SpursPies!

BCFC.jpgPlayer of the season: Gary McSheffrey proved he had what it takes in the Championship and will be looking to make the step up to the big league – although without a goal since February he needs a good start

VolzM.JPGVolzy, Volzy, Volzy. What are you going to get up to next? The crazy Fulham utility man had to be rescued by a handyman after locking himself in his toilet. The German was preparing to leave his house for the pre-season friendly with Brighton when the incident happened. Volzy nipped to the loo before leaving, but found the door had jammed when he tried to get out.

76043481.jpgThe wait is over. David Beckham made his long anticipated MLS debut last night when he came on as a 72nd minute substitute for or the Los Angeles Galaxy.

The big kick-off is nigh and we don’t have a thing to wear. Well, we do now. This is part one of a bumper Kit Parade Special from Pies.
Arsenalhomekit.JPGThis looks a little familiar… wait a cotton picking minute! Yes, Arsenal have retained last season’s home kit for a further season. It makes my job a bit harder because you have all seen it before, but I’d be delighted if I was a Gooner. Comiserations to the parents of young Arsenal fans who will have to think a bit harder about birthday presents this year! Click here to buy it from Kitbag.

John Fashanu is officially the black Noel Edmonds! Fash is currently presenting the Nigerian version of gameshow Deal or No Deal. The ex-Wimbledon striker has been fronting the show on the M-Net Africa network since July. Fash does have presenting experience from his days as host of Gladiators, but Pies prefers to remember the day he became a contestant on the show instead.

Remember we warned you that the latest Nike Put It Where You Want It viral would feature Wayne Rooney smacking the ball at scantily clad Welsh daredevils Dirty Sanchez? Well here is the finished article. The group enjoy a few eye-watering games. Note the ominous to be continued caption at the end of the video.

Consider the plight of Belenenses goalkeeper Marco. You are minutes away from helping your side to a 0-0 draw against Real Madrid, arguably the biggest result of your life, and this happens…

Zidane_headbutt.jpgIt was the moment that ruined France’s hopes of reclaiming the World Cup and ended a legend’s career on a sour note – while the Italian antagonist, Marco Materazzi, instantly became football’s public enemy No. 1.