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Sam Allardyce Sworn In As New West Ham Boss

By Chris Wright

Word on the wire is that call-centre-chic enthusiast Sam Allardyce is all but set to be appointed as West Ham’s new manager at some point later today, with a £3 million, two-year contract being mooted by most of the major news outlets this morning – including the good old Beeb, and why would they lie to us?

For a man whom we all know would be ‘more suited to winning doubles every season with Inter, Real Madrid, Man Utd or Chelsea‘, I’m sure that returning an absolute circus of a Championship side to the top flight inside two years should be a walk in the park by comparison.

Best of luck Samuel.

UPDATE: It’s official, Big Sam has just been sworn in at Upton Park, telling the club’s website:

“It’s a fantastic club with a great tradition and loyal supporters, I am determined to get this club back up.

“I wouldn’t have taken this job if I didn’t think we could bounce straight back into the Premier League.

“More than that, I wouldn’t have contemplated the job if I didn’t think there was the opportunity to build something substantial at West Ham.

“I know there will be West Ham fans asking whether I’m going to abandon the style of play that’s been the club’s heritage over the years.

“All I’ll say is it will be a tale of home and away. At Upton Park we’ll try to play the kind of game the fans want.”

…Everywhere else we’ll be playing agricultural, pigs-and-muck hoof-ball. Enjoy!

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By Chris on June 1st, 2011 in West Ham Utd. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
comments

8 Responses to “Sam Allardyce Sworn In As New West Ham Boss”

  1. Rich says:

    God he’s better than this, did he not learn from newcastle about working under cunts??

  2. syndex says:

    If he’d have waited the madrid job could have been his

  3. chimpo says:

    but have chelsea not come a-calling?

  4. :) says:

    i really REALLY wanted Chris Hughton.

  5. newcassel says:

    He wants the money plain and simple
    He has no reputation left, he’s just got to coin every chance he gets
    He’s used to working for *****, no big deal as long as the money’s coming in

  6. Calski says:

    West ham – Prepare for your football to get a lot longer and a lot hoofier.

  7. jay says:

    Average height at West Ham will be 6’3″ by the end of the transfer window

  8. The Ostrich says:

    Me thinks Chris Coleman wouldve been a better choice, Raptor Jesus thinks otherwise.

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