Robin van Persie is NOT DEAD!

Ollie Irish

16th, November 2009


As our friends at Anorak pointed out, the tabloids went crazy over Robin van Persie’s ankle injury. At first, I thought he was dead, or worse, out for the season.

On Sunday the odious Mail delivered its lead sports story:



So horrible was the injury that the back page featured the player clutching his ankle. The ‘story’ was bigger even than England’s game against Brazil and England’s rugby union players’ dreary grind against Argentina at Twickers.

And on Monday, The Sun featured the news on its lead sports page:

“Wenger torn to pieces… Arsenal’s star striker could be out for the ENTIRE season.”

But then, as if by magic, Van Persie rose again…

In the Daily Express, the news was not so terribly, terribly awful:

“Robin Van Persie was ruled out for up to three months.”

That’s more like it, nervous Gooners thought, but still – three months is probably enough to f**k up our title chances.

Then in the Mail, which one day on from that talk of a “broken ankle” and “horror injury” hears Van Persie say:

“I will be out for four to six weeks.”

Tomorrow, expect Van Persie to be announced fit for Arsenal’s next game.


RvP: died for all our sins

Lesson learned: before believing the tabloids, take a deep breath and wait for the truth to emerge. It’s usually a lot less worse than the scaremongs make out.

Even as a Spurs fan, I wasn’t happy to hear about RvP’s injury – I want a good title race, and Arsenal need him to make it at least a three-horse race.

Posted in Arsenal, Funnies

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  1. bob says:

    Sick headline

  2. Sig says:

    your headline is more reckless than the actual challenge

    have a bit more class please in future

  3. Mark says:

    3-0 @ the Grove. BAM.

  4. pixie says:

    pretty much know what your post is going to be about but i don’t think the headline is appropriate at all. In fact like the guy above,it is indeed a sick headline..

  5. Ollie says:

    Er, something’s lost in translation here – the headline is a satiricial joke on the way the media overreacted to RvP’s injury.

    Didn’t think I’d need to spell it out for some idiots.

  6. Chringle says:

    It never ceases to amaze me.

  7. Philando Torres says:

    I’d wager that comments 1,2 and 4 are authoured by sensitive Gooners who are nourished by the tabloids on a daily basis.

  8. pixie says:

    yes, i think most idiots know it’s a satirical joke to the overreaction on how the media portrays rvp supposedly ‘horror injury’ and saying how arsenal will not win anything due to it. But you got to agree saying someone is dead(yes, yes.. it’s a joke) is still not appropriate.

    that’s just my opinion though, dont have to get all worked up about it

  9. kalezu says:

    What do you expect from Spuds fun…

  10. matt says:

    Ummmmmm it says “NOT dead”……what is wrong with people???

  11. The Queen Mother says:

    oh my God ! this headline is so schocking !

  12. Zigzag says:

    Yes, media hacks are arseholes but then so are you. And btw Cudiccinis accident was pronounced to be career ending for him and now he is definitely going to be fit and playing again for your silly Spuds team, how comes you haven’t mentioned that? Bit jealous perhaps?

  13. mjc says:

    I thought the headline (as well as the analysis) is spot on, and simply attacks the sick-mindedness of the average tabloid hack.
    I particularly enjoyed the caption… very droll….

  14. kc says:

    newspaper went mad about his injury…
    well… this isnt the first time he suffers from sort of long-term injuries..
    anyway… i hope rvp can come back asap because we need and love him!
    Best wishes to robin.

  15. MikeSA says:

    From a Spurs fan I thought that was a balanced, humorous and intelligent article.

    I know, like all other clubs, we have some slightly less-cerebrally blessed fans amongst the Gooners, but please refrain from embarrassing the rest of us by going off at a tangent over a very decent piece from a rival fan.

  16. Serhiy says:

    He is return to live

  17. Rachith says:

    Just seeing the headline made me smile and come out of an illusion of a fallow ashburton grove once again..thanks bruv..i can still see an average of 3 goals agains’t sunderland..

  18. kaya says:

    Hmmm. Couldn’t the same thing be said of Diarra being accused of insulting supposedly the entirety of Ireland? I know that was an accusation made by another player, but it got all played up, and now they’re spicing up Diarra’s “that’s BS” retort.
    Injuries incurred during friendlies always get people overly excited.

  19. kathmcp says:

    Good grief. The people complaining about the use of the words “not dead” in the headline clearly need to be medicated. It’s being just a wee bit precious, yes?

  20. […] Read more from the original source: Robin van Persie is NOT DEAD! » Who Ate all the Pies […]

  21. pixie says:

    to comment no.19. The author has changed it to-> NOT dead. Before it was ‘Robin van persie is dead’. Check before commenting, ‘precious’!

    And yes, this is a well balanced post from a spurs fan.

  22. Nick says:

    as an arsenal fan and a RVP fan, I thought the article was great. Good work Ollie. This article has nothing to really do with arsenal or RVP, the point of the article is to make fun of the idiot journos who try to sell sell sell rather then write about the truth.

  23. kathmcp says:

    OK Pixie. Clearly I was not aware of the change so how could I have checked before commenting – a fairly logical concept I would have thought. But anyway, thanks for letting me know. And now that I do, I have the following to say:

    Good grief. The people complaining about the use of the words “dead” in the headline clearly need to be medicated. It’s being just a wee bit precious, yes?

  24. indinaGef says:

    Awesome, I didn’t know about that until now. Thanks!!

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