Comprehensively dispelling the myth that he’s not just a self-involved, bejewelled poseur, Memphis Depay has released a god-awful rap to celebrate passing the five million follower mark on Instagram.
Filmed on a rooftop in Paris, the Lyon forward donned his prettiest velvet blouse, selected his sparkliest butterfly brooch, sparked up a novelty cigar and then let rip about football pitches being zoos and the like.
Consider this your extreme cringe warning…
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The expert rhyming of the word “idol” with the word “idol” is a personal highlight.
If John Barnes is the high watermark for rapping footballers, then this is sub-Royston Drenthe pap.
And the worst part about it all is that Memphis is absolutely, 100% serious.