By Chris Wright
Shocking scenes in La Liga yesterday evening when, during the final throes of Atletico Madrid’s 1-0 victory over city rivals Real, Gareth Bale somehow manages to impregnate Atleti ‘keeper Thibaut Courtois with an alien chestburster – or so you’d assume, judging by the Atleti keeper’s ludicrous reaction to receiving the faintest of nudges from the Welshman…
Seriously though, shocking conduct from Courtois. What a prannet.