Serie A

• Ian Wright says Patrick Vieira is coming back to Arsenal. Is Ian Wright right? July 30th, 2009 Arsenal

  Plenty of transfer toss to consider today, but by far the most interesting rumour comes straight from the big mouth of Ian Wright. The Arsenal goalscoring legend claims that Paddy Vieira may be set for a second stint under Arsene Wenger. Speaking on his TalkSport radio show, Wrighty said: “I’m hearing Vieira, pay-as-you-play back at […]

• Video: Diego scores first goal for Juventus on debut July 29th, 2009 Serie A

  Diego showed wonderful poise in the penalty area to score on his Juventus debut, in the Italian team’s Peace Cup match against Seongnam of Korea. This is the sort of ability he showed regularly in the Bundesliga for Werder Bremen: Expert finish, eh. Juve won the match 3-0 and now face Real Madrid in what […]

• Photo Gallery: Zlatan Ibrahimovic signs for Barcelona July 28th, 2009 Barcelona

  I still think Inter got a terrific deal in getting Samuel Eto’o plus a stack of cash for Zlatan, but have to admit Ibra looks great in Barca’s kit. A front line of Henry, Zlatan and Messi is scary as hell, and the sort of forward trio you’d only dream about playing in a videogame.

• Samuel Eto’o to Inter, Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Barcelona. Who’d get the better deal? July 18th, 2009 Barcelona

  Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o and Inter’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic are set to trade places, presumably because there is no dressing room in the world that could contain their twin egos.

• Top 10 nasty new football kits July 17th, 2009 Bundesliga

  Simple, classy? Er, no… Click on the image to launch the gallery:

• Transfer Toss: Tabloid claims Man Utd want Zlatan Ibramhimovic July 9th, 2009 Man Utd

  From today’s Mirror: “Sir Alex Ferguson is weighing up a move for Inter Milan striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Manchester United boss Fergie, who yesterday completed the £3.5million signing of Bordeaux winger Gabriel Obertan, has missed out on several of his top targets to replace Cristiano Ronaldo. Lyon striker Karim Benzema opted to join Real Madrid, while […]

• Arsenal set to miss out on Felipe Melo: is Arsene Wenger too cautious in the transfer market? July 9th, 2009 Arsenal

  Felipe Melo, who looked very good at the heart of Brazil’s midfield in the recent Confed Cup, is off to Juventus, not north London. He has agreed a deal in principle to move to Juve for around £17.5m (Fiorentina, Melo’s current club, also get winger Marco Marchionni as part of the deal, though Marchionni appears […]

• Juventus launch new home and away Nike kits for 09/10. Both have black and white stripes… July 9th, 2009 Kits & fashion

  Juventus’s new home kit features black and white stripes, as usual. Juventus’s new away kit features, er, black and white stripes, albeit on a grey background. I thought the whole point about an away kit is that it’s supposed to be distinctly different from the home version? I know that Juventus’s home kit has white […]

• Transfer Toss: AC Milan in for Peter Crouch? Madness gone mad July 3rd, 2009 Portsmouth

  You know how hard it is to PhotoShop Crouchy’s head onto stuff? Harder than you’d think – he has a strange-shaped head (and a strange-shaped body, for that matter) This can’t be right. Owen to Man Yoo and now a rumour saying Crouchinho is a target for Milan. Has planet football gone bat-shit crazy overnight? […]

• The Best Player in the World World Cup: Group H (Ibrahimovic v Ferdinand, Henry v Maicon) June 25th, 2009 Barcelona

  The final group kicks off today… Zlatan Ibrahimovic v Rio Ferdinand (Group G) Extremely cocky attacker v extremely metrosexual defender. Who you got? Vote below:

• Is Brazil’s Felipe Melo the midfield answer for Arsenal? June 23rd, 2009 Arsenal

  Arsenal could really use Felipe Melo. The 25-year-old Brazilian had a great season with Fiorentina in 08/09, and he’s playing well for his country right now at the Confederations Cup (he scored against the USA). Melo is the perfect type of player to protect Cesc Fabregas at the heart of Arsenal’s midfield. He reminds me […]

• Shit Lookalikes: Fabio Grosso and Alex Shelley June 19th, 2009 Lookalikes

  A thousand thanks to Mark Ashworth for emailing in this superbly shit lookalike. (For those of you over the age of 14, Alex Shelley is a professional wrestler.) Think you can do better? Email Pies with your suggestion. More lookalikes here

• Giuseppe Rossi has a Facebook hate group June 18th, 2009 International football

  Yesterday, Pies was the first to tell you about the Giuseppe Rossi Judas T-shirt, which is selling like hot cakes and also generating a hell of a lot of debate, especially in the States and, to a lesser extent, Italy. After scoring twice in the Confederation Cup against the country of his birth (he was […]

• GIF of the day: Kaka in happier times with Milan team-mates June 10th, 2009 GIFs

  The incredibly good-looking Kaka used to have such fun with his buddies at the San Siro. Good work, but not as good as the brilliant Arsenal version.

• David Beckham told me to join Real Madrid, says Kaka June 9th, 2009 La Liga

  Kaka only joined Madrid because Becks told him how nice it was in Spain. Lovely tapas, pretty ladies etc. Or, Kaka only joined Madrid to help fund Silvio Berlusconi’s dubious lavish lifestyle. That’s big of him.

• Rumour mill: John Arne Riise to replace Sylvinho at Barcelona? June 4th, 2009 La Liga

  Ooh, that hits the spot Sylvinho’s contract with Barcelona ran out at the end of last month, and the club decided not to re-sign him – so the veteran full-back, 35, is now a free agent. Which means Barca need a new left-sided defender as back up for first-choice LB, Eric Abidal. Sport.es claims that […]

• Kaka signs for Real Madrid for €65m! Definitely maybe June 2nd, 2009 La Liga

  Spanish media claims it’s a done deal I belong to Jesus and Madrid According to Marca and other sources in Spain, Kaka will be presented at the Bernabeu next week, having completed a €65m deal to Real Madrid. Although Kaka said he didn’t want to leave Milan, I never doubted that this deal would happen. […]

• AC Milan’s new signing needs to go to the gym May 29th, 2009 Kits & fashion

  Either that, or Ronaldinho’s really let himself go Don’t worry, Milan fans: your club’s transfer policy has not taken a turn for the worse. The tubby chap in the jeans represents Milan’s “12th Man”, as part of the adidas campaign to launch Milan’s new home kit – which, I think, looks a bit strange with […]

• First Man Utd fan stabbed in Rome. Well that didn’t take long May 27th, 2009 Champions League

  Et tu, Fergie? Italian capital living up to “stab city” reputation A Man Utd fan has been stabbed in Rome ahead of tonight’s Champions League final. Greg Wheldon, 34, suffered a knife wound to his left leg after being ambushed as he walked to his hotel near the Vatican early this morning. According to reports, […]

• Paolo Maldini jeered on farewell by AC Milan fans May 26th, 2009 Serie A

  Milan living legend bows out to the sound of jeers and whistles. He didn’t deserve this Paolo Maldini is the greatest defender of his generation, perhaps of all time. His career at Milan (he was a loyal, one-club man) spanned 24 years; Ryan Giggs would have to play at Man Utd for another six seasons […]

• Wonder goal of the week: Cristiano Zanetti scores with ridonkulous volley (Juventus v Atalanta) May 21st, 2009 Serie A

  Shame no one was there to see it Fantastic strike by Zanetti (who is no relation to Javier of Internazionale), but no Juventus fans saw it live - their league game at home against Atalanta on Sunday was played in front of closed doors, in the wake of alleged racial abuse of Inter’s Mario Balotelli. The […]

• Video: Zlatan Ibrahimovic wants to be substituted against Siena, Mourinho says no May 20th, 2009 Serie A

  Another sulk by football’s biggest primadonna On Saturday night, Inter’s players spent the night (and some of Sunday morning) out on the town, getting pissed. They had reason to celebrate: Milan had lost to Udinese earlier in the evening, a result that gifted the Serie A tile to Inter. During Inter’s celebratory game against Siena […]

• Football video: Jose Mourinho scores wonder goal in training May 5th, 2009 Serie A

  Crunching tackle… check.
  Mazy dribble… check.

• Horror Hair: Alexandre Pato is a skinhead May 1st, 2009 Horror Hair

  This made the news in Italy Milan’s Brazilian prodigy now has a Stephen Ireland-esque bonehead, thanks to the hairdressing skills of his girlfriend’s brother. According to the clip below, Pato says he’d wanted to shave his head for a while, even though his girlfriend, the exotically named Sthephany (correct spelling), didn’t like the idea. What, […]

• Photos: Man Utd 0-0 Juventus, pre-season friendly August 7th, 2008 Man Utd

  United draw blank against Claudio Ranieri’s team Cristiano Ronaldo’s ankle, Wayne Rooney’s virus, plus injuries to Gary Neville, Owen Hargreaves, Michael Carrick and Ji-Sung Park have left Fergie with selection issues ahead of Sunday’s Community Shield clash with Portsmouth at Wembley. The United manager’s alarming lack of attacking options – buy a striker, man! – […]