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Who ate all the pies

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Juve’s brief return to the top of Serie A is over after their defeat to Udinese, despite having recently appointed God on earth (or something like that), Alex Del Piero, in their ranks. The result had some of the Italian press sniffing a rat, or at least another match-fixing scandal.

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A surprisingly comfortable win for Arsenal against one of Europe’s most dangerous sides. The real Sevilla never really showed up, and they had no answer for the guile of Cesc Fabregas and the power of Emmanuel Adebayor. Fabregas was lucky to open the scoring with a deflected shot, but overall the Spanish team didn’t deserve anything from the game.

1 The Shaddap Your Face song Just a great impression from Gift Grub. Always makes me smile.

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Granted he may have been at that age when his looks would start to go a bit when he took over as Chelsea manager, but Jose Mourino’s one-man crusades against referees, opposition managers and, well, pretty much anyone daft enough to get in his way have certainly accelerated the ageing process.

‘What a shocking end of an era. Who would have thought that the words “mutual consent” would ever cause heartbreak? And the timing couldn’t have been worse… Abramovich wanted fantasy football, but Jose was never going to fit into that mould. Trophies weren’t enough for the big boss.’ Chelsea Pies ‘You win the league twice […]

Why doesn’t the media ever criticise Steven Gerrard? Liverpool Pies Top 10 managers linked with the Tottenham job Spurs Pies Didier Drogba and Michael Essien’s music debut should come with a health warning Chelsea Pies The great Champions League beer drought at the Emirates Stadium Arsenal Pies Sporting Lisbon v Man Utd: all the pub […]

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As a Bolton fan, my worst fears about Sammy Lee are coming true. Pre-season saw me, as usual, worried about relegation (mixed with wild optimism). It would seem that I’m not alone in my pain as Bolton Wanderers languish at the foot of the Premier League without a decent performance to their name.

Miscellaneous

Kerlon’s seal dribble

September 19th, 2007

When Atletico Mineiro took on Cruzeiro (with Cruzeiro winning 4-3) in the Brazilian league (or the Campeonato Brasileiro if you prefer) the finest… and ugliest… part of the match was Kerlon’s seal dribble. How do you stop a seal dribble? With a shoulder barge…
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Easy on the camera Tomas – that’s an expensive piece of kit. Lovely chap, Mr Repka. Via The Offside

fergusonVs.jpgAh. Bless Sir Alex Ferguson. He’s ranting about referees again. He really doesn’t like ’em does he? Maybe it was a ref’ who was chopping at his ankles the other day? Anyway, Sir Alex has expressed displeasure about the appointment of the German referee Herbert Fandel for the return of Cristiano Ronaldo and Nani to Sporting Lisbon tonight…

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Last night saw Chelsea’s first Champions League game of the season at Stamford Bridge (capacity: 42,055). Worryingly for Roman Abramovich, Jose Mourinho and all concerned, just 24, 973 fans attended the 1-1 draw with Rosenborg, a frankly pathetic turn-out for a club that claims to be one of the biggest in Europe.

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Arsenal vs Sevilla, Wed 19 Sept (ko 7.45pm BST)
These two clubs have never met in Europe, but they both play attractive, progressive football, so this could be a cracker for the neutral to watch. Sevilla are still recovering from the shocking death of Antonio Puerta, but they have notched two wins from two in the Primera Liga, so it seems Puerta’s death has, if anything, galvanised the club.

1 Marseille’s European home kit (see photo, above) is horrific. On the positive side, Djibril Cisse, who scored in the French side’s win over Besiktas, is looking good… until he next snaps one of his rubber legs, that is. Photo Getty Images

Is that the sound of wheels coming off at Stamford Bridge? Not exactly, but I really expected Chelsea to win this game with relative ease. Ironically, but somehow predictably, it was misfit Andriy Shevchenko who saved face, with an equaliser early in the second half. If we learned one thing from last night’s game, it’s that Chelsea are half the team without Dider Drogba and Frank Lampard.

Not a vintage Liverpool display by any means, but a point away at Porto is a perfectly decent start to their CL campaign. After going behind early when Jose Reina gave away a penalty, Rafa’s boys did well to come back, via a Dirk Kuyt header from close range. For the hosts, Ricardo Quaresma looked […]

Chelsea vs Rosenborg, Tues 18 Sept (ko 7.45pm BST) With no Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard in the team, you have to wonder where the goals will come from for Chelski. Andriy Shevchenko has scored 46 times in the Champions League, but only three of those goals have been in a blue Chelsea shirt. Jose […]

Porto vs Liverpool, Tues 18 Sept (ko 7.45pm BST) Rafa Benitez, the Incredible Rotating Manager, rested star men Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres for Liverpool’s league clash with Portsmouth at the weekend, with this tricky fixture in mind – it’s probably Liverpool’s toughest group match in the Champions League. I expect Benitez will replace ‘B’ […]

When we told you that Didier Drogba was to sing a song on the big stage, it got you Pies readers thinking. Pies regular, Chringle thought that he might ‘Live and Let Dive’, ‘Fall At Your Feet’, ‘Going Down In A Blaze Of Glory’ or ‘Get Up, Stand Up’ (much funnier than anything we could […]

Every Tuesday during this season, Pies will feature its Player Power Rankings, a top 10 list of the hottest footballers in the Premier League, based on form, influence and, you know, how much we like ’em. So without further ado, here goes with the inaugural Player Power Rankings:
cesc-fabregas.jpg1 Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal)
Fabregas is the main reason why Arsenal currently sit on top of the Premier League, and few would dispute that he has been the player of the season so far. He’s added goals and increased stamina to his frighteningly mature repertoire of incisive passing and tactical awareness. If he continues to improve at this rate, he’ll be the best midfielder in the world in no time at all. Some Gooners would argue that he’s there already – they wouldn’t now swap him for Thierry Henry + £20m. And I say this as a Spurs fan. Nice one Cesc – you are top of our first-ever Player Rankings.

Cracking own goal by the Argies to get England going, followed up by some decidedly dodgy keeping. Well done ladeez, you be representing England up in the place.

Thanks to Stacy S for sending in this top quality Shit Lookalike. One’s a bald-headed goon who is part of a dysfunctional family… and the other – you’ve guessed it – is Uncle Fester (groan).

jolbook.pngThis 24-page children’s book has to be the ideal gift for any self-respecting Tottenham fan: ‘Become the star of this fantastic story, play for Spurs and score the winning goal in the cup final.’

Pies presents a Snapshot special to celebrate England’s 6-1 thrashing of Argentina in the Women’s World Cup. Our plucky girls have yet to taste defeat in the tournament – today’s win against Argentina followed draws with Japan and favourites Germany – but they face a very tough quarter-final showdown against the winners of Group B, […]

Here’s the first of our daily round-ups of some of the best posts on our excellent array of club sites dedicated to the big five (don’t laugh, but the big five does include Spurs), as well as Kickster, our new blog devoted to women’s football: Gunners rolling in cash (not unlike Demi Moore in Indecent […]

Spirit of the Blitz stuff from the Hot Spur. There are more Zoe vids on the Spurs Pies blog.