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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Ahead of tonight’s England v Spain match we look back at the last time the two teams met. It was the heated ‘friendly’ at the Bernabeu in which Ashley Cole and Shaun Wright Phillips were subjected to racist abuse and Wayne Rooney had to be substituted to prevent him being sent-off. As if that doesn’t […]

Hopefully, a bright and red future ahead of us. I shall reserve my comment to later and not jump to conclusion. But it is exciting times indeed. [The Red Cauldron] Liverpool, with a proposed new stadium and increased transfer funds, will be looking to firmly place themselves in between Chelsea and Manchester United – and […]

If this quote was unattributed I would have put good money on it being the latest post-match comment / bizarre analogy to be uttered from the mouth of ‘Sir’ Ian Holloway. However, closer inspection reveals that it is Jose Mourinho who is losing sleep over his team’s injury crisis. "It’s like having a blanket that […]

From now on when you hear a commentator say ‘To be fair, the ball was played behind him,’ remember that shouldn’t be an excuse! Do any of our Pies field operatives know where and when this goal was scored? [Rob Parker]

One of the more unusual ties thrown up by this week’s round of international friendlies is Lithuania versus Mali. If you are a collector of obscure football shirts or simply a Hearts fan, you might like to purchase the Lithuanian kit! This is the side that held world champions Italy to a 1-1 draw last […]

Italian football could restart on Sunday, according to Luca Pancalli, commissioner of the Italian Federation. Serie A and B clubs meet on Tuesday to discuss the government proposal of closing stadia deemed unsafe to fans. The move follows the cancellation of weekend football after a policemen was killed during clashes between fans. Pancalli said: "There […]


Torres fancies Arsenal?

February 6th, 2007

It’s enough to make you sick. Spanish wonderboy, Fernando Torres is saying that, should he move to England, he fancies Arsenal. Imagine it. Torres, Fabregas, Van Persie… oh, and that Thierry Henry chap. They would officially be the most attractive footballing side on the planet.

Steve ‘Malcolm’ McClaren plans to use the 4-3-3 formation that was used against Holland in the 1-1 draw in November. However, he might have a bit of a problem with Wayne Rooney looking crocked. His other options look a bit ropey too following the withdrawal of Everton’s Andrew ‘I didn’t dive honest’ Johnson. The England […]

A pregnant woman in the United Arab Emirates left a maternity ward after discovering it had no television on which to watch the Gulf Cup final between UAE and Oman. The woman reportedly told staff: "I shall be back once my national team has won the coveted championship." She returned to the hospital clutching a […]

I can’t believe that this hasn’t been featured on Pies before as it is my favourite goal ever. Mexico ’86 was my first World Cup proper, and the first goal to make my eyes pop out was this wonderful strike by Mexico’s Manuel Negrete. A sublime volley that is rewarded with Negrete’s hair being pulled […]

Ladies and Gents, let Pies be the first to pass judgement on the new England home shirt. It’s shit. This really is the worst England shirt that Pies have ever seen, and can only hope that this is some terrible mistake. Surely the blind morons designers at Umbro can come up with something a bit […]

There was only so long we could continue our Ginger Afro series without resorting to the glaringly obvious. It is, of course, the man with arguably the greatest afro of all time never mind ginger afro: Carlos Valderrama. The Colombian’s beautiful ginger locks leave the likes of Wes Brown, Ian Wallace and Noel Brotherston trailing […]

He’s got the dribbles and the dives!


Boli and Waddle rap

February 5th, 2007

Basile Boli and Chris Waddle played together in the rampant Marseille side of the early ninties. They also recorded a rap record together. Watch, and cry your unbelieving eyeballs out. It’s actually worse than Diamond Lights. [Mof Gimmers]

The Italian Olympic Committee (CONI) is meeting the government on Monday to decide when Italian football resumes after hooligans killed an Italian policeman. All weekend matches, as well as an international against Romania, were cancelled. The meeting will take place after the funeral of Filippo Raciti, who died in the riots. The funeral of the […]

Rafa Benitez referred to Everton as a small club at the weekend and it ruffled some feathers.  The Spaniard said after Saturday’s 0-0 Merseyside derby: "When you play against the smaller teams at Anfield you know the game will be narrow." Everton chief executive Keith Wyness responded on the club website and said: "Benitez is […]

Back in September we told you that Michael Ballack was having a whinge (shocking, we know) about the cost of houses in Britain. The Chelsea midfielder refused to pay £4 million for a mansion in Surrey he had his on eye on. It seems the German has now decided that his £130,000 a week salary […]

Good weekendWigan Gave themselves some breathing space from the relegation zone with a priceless win at home to Portsmouth.Cristiano Ronaldo On top form yet again. The man who always lacked that final ball is now delivering almost every time.Reading Up to sixth after an away victory at Manchester City. Bad weekendWatford Lost at home to […]

Sir Alex Ferguson now has a valid reason not to flog John O’Shea to a lower league club: he can be Manchester United‘s reserve keeper! Man Yoo fans were treated to O’Shea’s finest display in a United shirt against Spurs yesterday, and it came while replacing Edwin van der Sar who had broken his nose.  […]

Kits & fashion

Sticker Sunday

February 4th, 2007

It’s Sunday, which means it must be time for the our alliterative attempt to complete Merlin’s FA Premier League Official Sticker Collection: it’s Sticker Sunday of course!

1 "I wouldn’t be like Lampard or Gerrard, who are superstars at their clubs and want the limelight when they play for England. If there were two balls on the pitch, then I think England would be successful but, the fact is, it’s been proven they don’t work together." Joey Barton2 "’We got beat in […]

Like poorly paid cokeheads with a Wednesday payday, most of the Pies Fantasy Football League managers’ scoring was done midweek for Week 22. FA Cup fourth round matches meant no Premiership football last weekend, but normal service was resumed on Tuesday and Wednesday.

One of Pies‘ all-time favourite moments! A worse for wear Peter Crouch sings along to Ini Kamoze’s Here Comes The Hotstepper before posing for a photo (seemingly unaware that he was being filmed all the while!). [Rob Parker]


Is Arsene Wenger a genius?

February 1st, 2007

When Arsene isn’t whining about fixture a pile-up, slapping Alan Pardew like a girl or failing to see a misdemeanour by one of his own players, he’s being a complete genius. As his second string Arsenal side brushed off the challenge of a strong Spurs side in the League Cup Semi Final last night I […]

With the League Cup Final places being decided last night, I thought I’d have a look for an old classic final. Pick of the bunch was a cracking final between Luton Town and Notts Forest in 1989. There’re a whole host of horror haircuts in this clip with Mick Harford, Steve Foster… Stuart Pearce is […]