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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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1 What a depressing performance from England. They barely created a chance and were overrun by Croatia. 2 I predicted before the Macedonia game that when England played 3-5-2 they would look uncomfortable in the new system, and so it proved. 3 I made it to point three without mentioning Paul Robinson! I would have […]

A late brace from Theo Walcott booked England‘s place at the 2007 European Under 21 Championships as they beat Germany in the play-offs. Both goals were Thierry Henry-esque, and the second was an absolute beauty. Walcott is still only 17 remember! Click here to see the first goal and here to see the second goal. […]

At times you have been able to place as much trust in the Pies betting guide for England matches as you can put in Stewart Downing when he collects the ball on the England left. That’s all about to change though. Honest! England to win by one goal (3-1)Peter Crouch to outscore Wayne Rooney (11-4)A […]

Madcap Ian Holloway made his football comeback last night seven years after retiring. In typically bizarre circumstances, the 43-year-old made his big return for Plymouth in a South Western League match against Liskeard Athletic during a thunderstorm. The Argyle boss re-registered himself as a player because clashes with reserve, under 18s and under 16s fixtures […]

Despite clearly discussing which way they are going, this pair of Uefa goons still manage to get in a muddle.

Arsenal fans were preparing to celebrate winning the Premier League with a 2-0 lead at home to Everton when something a bit out of the ordinary happened. Steve Bould chipped the ball through for Tony Adams who blasted home. [Rob Parker]

With Scott Parker tipped to add some sweat and work ethic to the England side to play Croatia tomorrow, I began wondering what the national team would look like if Steve McClaren followed dropping David Beckham by removing a few more big-name players. Click below to see Pies’ Mid-table England XI – excluding any players […]

Permatanned Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan has today been bragging about his cunning plan to secure the ownership of Selhurst Park. The dastardly Jordan hid behind a Singapore financier so that he did not have to cross swords again with former chairman Ron Noades while securing the freehold in a £12 million deal. He said: […]

The transfer window is still closed as far as I am aware, but nobody has told the Mirror! Everyone – including Drogba and Ronaldo – to move on the cheap as transfer system collapse [Guardian]Barca are still interested in Blackburn’s Lucas Neill (pictured) [Mirror] Zoltan Gera set to move to Portsmouth from West Brom for […]

Word on the street is that Newcastle captain Scott Parker will line up for England against Croatia as part of a five-man midfield as England opt to play it safe in Zagreb. Parker will reportedly play in front of a back three of Rio Ferdinand, Ledley King and skipper John Terry. Gary Neville and Ashley […]

Very few players in the world have the class to score a goal like this. Just a lovely example of how the beautiful game should be played.

Good weekendWalter Smith Put the icing on his cake-like start as Scotland manager with victory over France.Macedonia You have to take your hat off to them. Macedonia played decent and attacking football to take advantage of below par England.Northern Ireland Lawrie Sanchez’s men put in a plucky performance to pick up a point in Denmark. […]

Marco Materazzi is writing a joke book entitled What I Actually Told Zidane. The book will contain 249 possible insults to provoke Zinedine Zidane – including what Materazzi claims is the real one – of varying degrees of humour. Suggested insults apparently include: "Zidane, what are you doing? You haven’t lost yet and already you’ve […]

Gazza has revealed he would like to give Wayne Rooney a cuddle to help him through his drop in form. In an interview with the Daily Mail, he said he could understand the problems Rooney is experiencing. He said: "It’s been a few years since I was part of the England squad, but I wish […]

There wasn’t too much for British national teams to cheer about this weekend, but this goal got an almighty cheer. Rejuvenated Scotland beat France 1-0 thanks to this Gary Caldwell goal, provided – for your viewing pleasure – with French commentary.  [Rob Parker]

1 That was a fairly short honeymoon period for the man with the ginger quiff. 2 Joe Cole: you are free to regain full fitness at any time and revert Stewart Downing to a comfortable seat on the bench. 3 Shaun Wright Phillips is wasted at Chelsea. He would be pushing for a starting place […]

G14 President David Dein backs £20 million payout for Michael Owen’s World Cup injury [Football 365] Republic of Ireland to discuss Sir Bobby Robson‘s future – sounds like a fancy way of saying retirement to me [BBC Sport] Fergie and Mourinho battle it out for Uruguay’s Nery Alberto Castillo (pictured above looking like he might […]

Richard Hammond is apparently on the road to recovery after his horrific accident and the BBC’s Top Gear programme has resumed filming a new series, so hopefully it is no longer in bad taste to show Hammond and James May playing car football. [Rob Parker]

The BBC caught up with Ian Holloway to ask him his opinion on a range of hot football topics. You can read the story here. We’ve cherry-picked a few of the choicest quotes for you to peruse over your lunchtime sandwich:On Joey Barton: ‘If anybody’s offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they’re just […]


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

October 6th, 2006

1 Blsany, Sparta Prague, Rennes, Chelsea (current). Whose career path?2 Who is this Premiership defender? 3 ‘Half my family is black and I feel close to their culture and their colour. I am proud of my black roots and of the black blood that runs in my veins…’ Who said this?4 Which current Premiership manager […]

Struggling Greek outfit Panathinaikos are trying to tempt Graeme Souness to become their new manager. The former Newcastle boss has already tried his hand abroad with Galatasaray in Turkey and Benfica in Portugal – where his main achievements included surrounding himself with mediocre British players. Souness has been out of work since being sacked by […]

There now follows another frustrating Premiership mini-break, during which time England will attempt to strengthen their qualifying position for Euro 2008. The next round of Prem matches begins on Sat. 14th October. I’m sure most Premiership managers hate these mini-breaks, as do most fantasy managers. Anyway, enough griping, here’s the latest Pies fantasy league table:

Nicolas Anelka has missed out on the opportunity to have Kevin Nolan help him bed-in after receiving a late call-up to the France squad. Anelka has been named as a replacement for the injured Sidney Govou, ruining Nolan’s plans for a bonding sessions in Spain. In his BBC column, Nolan said that the Bolton players […]

You will be shocked to read that Joey Barton has been charged with bringing the game into disrepute after mooning Everton fans on Saturday. Barton has until 6pm tomorrow to answer the charge (although quite how he would be able to deny it I’m not sure – the video evidence is pretty conclusive!). The 24-year-old […]