Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

  • Arsene Wenger: ‘80% of international football is boring’ September 4th, 2006 Arsenal

    ‘Eighty per cent of qualifying matches [for Euro 2008] this weekend were without interest – and that’s being quite optimistic. We are going to destroy the interest of the spectator long-term,’ Arsene Wenger told The Sun. The Arsenal gaffer continued: ‘In each Euro qualifying group, there are seven or eight teams resulting from the break-up […]

  • Ben Thatcher’s elbow strikes again September 4th, 2006 Blackburn Rovers

    Ah. Ben Thatcher. A misunderstood genius or absolute cock? It’s the latter isn’t it? Well, We all know about Thatcher’s assault on Mendes and his elbow on a certain son of a Man Citeh legend has reared its head again. Oh, not to mention the Chinese player who suffered a punctured lung after meeting the […]

  • Uefa orders referees to book players who show imaginary cards September 2nd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Any player who waves an imaginary card in an attempt to get an opponent booked will be booked themselves, UEFA have ruled. Referees have also been ordered to clamp down on dissent, and to book at least one player if they are surrounded by a group. The new rules come into immediate effect for this […]

  • Arsenal get Gallas + £5m, Chelsea get A. Cole. Who got the best deal? September 1st, 2006 Arsenal

    Thank Christ that’s over. The facts: 1) Cashley Cole is now a Chelsea player. Hmm, I may have to lose Wayne Bridge from my fantasy team. And I’d only just signed him. Bah. 2) William Gallas is now an Arsenal player. Arsenal are also £5m richer. Would you rather be Arsenal or Chelsea on this […]

  • UPDATED Tevez and Mascherano sign for West Ham. Bloody hell! August 31st, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    UPDATE Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano have indeed signed for West Ham, and not just on a poxy one-year loan deal – these are permanent signings, folks. Who’d have thunk it? Of course, there’s still much suspicion that Roman Massivelyrichovich – who owns a controlling stake in Corinthians, the Argentine pair’s previous club – is […]

  • Reading’s Leroy Lita arrested after suspected assault August 30th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Reading star Leroy Lita was arrested today on suspicion of GBH, after he allegedly headbutted a man during a night out in Bristol. Lita is being questioned by police over the alleged attack, which is said to have taken place in the Haymarket area of Bristol city centre in the early hours of Sunday morning. […]

  • Man City introduce ‘gay scheme’ August 29th, 2006 Man City

    Manchester City are seemingly gunning for the ‘pink pound’ with a new initiative to encourage homosexuals to watch the footy in North Manchester. The club has paid a four-figure sum to join the Diversity Champions scheme, run by gay rights group Stonewall. It is the first professional club to join the scheme, which focuses on […]

  • News Balls: Man Utd make £10m bid for Trezeguet? August 29th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Man U make £10m bid for David Trezeguet? [Sporting Life]Owen Hargreaves: I’m staying at Bayern, boo-hoo [BBC]Spurs set to re-sign Mido. Er, why? [Football365]Charlton close to signing Costa Rican winger Christian Bolanos [Guardian]Arsenal’s shock £17m bid for Carlos Tevez [The Sun] You have already read 4 premium articles for free todayAccess immediately the premium content […]

  • Weird science: Premier League footballers using babies as ‘repair kits’ August 28th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Premier League footballers are storing stem cells from their newborn babies to use in case of their own career-threatening sports injuries. They are freezing cells taken from the umbilical cord blood of their babies as a possible future cure for cartilage and ligament problems, The Sunday Times reported. Five professional footballers have frozen their children’s […]

  • Sunday news balls August 27th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    A few titibits to accompany your coffee and croissants: Arsenal & Man Utd keen on Nigel Reo-Coker [Observer]Mark Van Bommel off to Bayern Munich – does this mean Owen Hargreaves is going to Old Trafford? [Football365]Roy Keane formally introduced to Sunderland’s players? [BBC]Swedish police to investigate Henrik Larsson for alleged punch [The Offside]Sports Illustrated’s ‘World […]

  • Ben Thatcher dropped by Man City & charged by FA August 25th, 2006 Man City

    Ben Thatcher has been suspended by Man City and charged by the FA following his disgraceful challenge on Portsmouth’s Pedro Mendes. Thatcher must answer a charge of serious foul play by 12 September. A statement on City’s website said: ‘Ben Thatcher has been suspended from first-team action… This is pending the results of the club’s […]

  • Uefa Cup draw: Spurs and Hearts both face trips to Prague August 25th, 2006 Blackburn Rovers

    The Uefa Cup – does anyone care these days? Yes, if you’re team’s in with a chance of winning it. So for fans of Spurs, Newcastle, Blackburn, West Ham, Hearts, Rangers and Derry, here’s how the first-round draw looks (ties played on 14/28 Sept): Levadia Tallinn (Estonia) v Newcastle UtdMolde FK (Norway) v RangersDerry City […]

  • Juventus – shut up already! Shhh, we mean it! August 24th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Fifa has said Italy may be thrown out of the qualifying campaign for Euro 2008 if Juventus continue to fight relegation to Serie B for match-fixing in the courts. Juve were relegated to Serie B and docked 17 points for trying to exert influence over referees; now they’re trying to take their appeal to a […]

  • Chelsa sign Boulahrouz the Cannibal August 21st, 2006 Chelsea

    Dutch hardman Khalid Boulahrouz has completed his move to Chelsea. He goes by the nickname ‘Cannibal’, which is one of the best nicknames we’ve had in the Premier League for ages. That’s exactly what football needs: more intimidating, WWF-style nicknames. Any more nickname suggestions? Oh, here’s a brief clip of Khalid the Cannibal clattering Ronaldo […]

  • Ashley Cole omitted from Arsenal’s squad August 18th, 2006 Arsenal

    Ashley Cole is NOT in Arsenal’s squad for their Premiership opener against Aston Villa, despite claiming he is available to play. Ooh, the plot thickens. Can we assume that this means a deal has been struck with Chelsea? If so, why hasn’t it been announced yet? Arseblog, who usually know what the craic is, seems […]

  • Kevin Keegan given ‘the world’s fastest haircut’ August 9th, 2006 Horror Hair

    Trevor Mitchell has just broken his own Guinness record for ‘world’s fastest haircut’, snipping (ho ho) his previous best by 12 seconds to a barely believable 59 seconds. If you’re wondering what this has to do with football, Mitchell’s victim model was none other than Kevin Keegan. The pair have known each other since Mitchell […]

  • Cristiano Ronaldo: Winky Returns August 9th, 2006 Man Utd

    Cristiano Ronaldo has had his first run-out since the World Cup. Boo, hiss, he’s behind you etc. Winky played for 72 minutes of Man U’s 4-1 friendly win against Oxford, and scored a couple of tasty goals with curling shots. Apart from a few boos (Man U fans cheered him, natch) from the panto-loving Oxford […]

  • Thierry Henry demands new signings at Arsenal August 9th, 2006 Arsenal

    Does he indeed? The cheeky sod. It’s a sad sign of the shift in power in football when a top player feels free to go to the national press – The Sun, in this case – and demand his manager makes some new signings. I respect Thierry Henry, but this outburst serves only to undermine […]

  • Dean Kiely: David James is a ‘Hollywood-type showbiz keeper with a massive ego’ August 8th, 2006 Man City

    Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp wants to bring veteran keeper David James to Fratton Park. Pompey’s current first-choice keeper Dean Kiely isn’t happy about this. In fact, he’s very pissed off. Kiely told the Portsmouth News: ‘I think it would be a little bit of a travesty, certainly on the back of what I did last […]

  • Beckham: Fergie called me a ‘f**king liar’ August 7th, 2006 Man Utd

    David Beckham has revealed Sir Alex Ferguson has spoken just five words to him since leaving Man Utd in 2003 and that the Scot called him a ‘fucking liar’ as their crumbling relationship culminated in a transfer to Real Madrid. The five words? ‘How are things over there [Madrid]?’ Fergie said this to Becks as […]

  • Chelsea’s vomit-inducing bid to crack America August 4th, 2006 Chelsea

    According to Sports Illustrated‘s website, in the wake of the World Cup ‘many Americans are searching for a world superclub to support’. SI writer Grant Wahl suggests that their choice ‘may as well be talent-laden Chelsea’. God help us. Wahl himself chose to support Chelsea in 1998: one of the reasons he gives for this […]

  • Martin O’Neill is too good for Aston Villa August 4th, 2006 Aston Villa

    If you’ve not heard the news, Martin O’Neill is 99% certain to be Aston Villa‘s new manager. Frankly, what have they done to deserve him? They’re getting an ‘Aston Martin’ (headline writers rejoice!) when I picture the hapless Midlands club more as a burnt-out Austin Allegro. Many Villa fans cling to the notion of their […]

  • Boy’s team gave Germans Nazi salute August 3rd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    A German mayor has accused a boy’s soccer team of giving Nazi salutes to German opponents during a friendly tournament in Sweden. The mayor of Steglitz-Zehlendorf, near Berlin, has penned a letter of complaint to the tournament organisers in Blekinge. Youngsters from Norwegian and Swedish football teams are alleged to have greeted the arrival of […]

  • Gallas disrespected the Chelsea ‘family’ – Mourinho picking out a horse’s head right now… August 3rd, 2006 Chelsea

    Jose Mourinho has accused William Gallas of disrespecting both him and Chelsea by staying away from their U.S training camp: ‘It’s not only me that is upset – we’re all upset,’ Don Vito Mourinho said. ‘Everybody is upset because we had a strong family and a strong group and this has shown a lack of […]

  • Van Nistelrooy out, Carrick in. Good business for Man Utd? July 28th, 2006 Man Utd

    OUT Man Utd’s attempts to politely ditch Ruud Van Nistelrooy before the season begins have finally paid off. Van Nistelrooy will be unveiled by Real Madrid today after United agreed an £11.5million deal – several million less than the £15m they wanted. Thank God that’s over, it was boring me to tears. IN The man […]