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Who ate all the pies

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Man Utd

Manchester United: All the latest Manchester United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

One of the most stunning nights of European football at Old Trafford. One thing’s for sure: there will be no repeat of this scoreline tonight, when the two teams meet in the CL again. More Man Yoo talk at Man United Pies

Birmingham 0-1 Manchester United
Crissy Ronaldo (© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.
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76967757.jpgIt doesn’t make much sense to me that Man Utd would complain about Avram Grant being granted dispensation to manage Chelsea without a Uefa pro licence, as reported by BBC Sport. If I was involved with Man Utd, I’d want Avram Grant to remain as Chelsea manager for as long as possible – rather that than they bring in a world-class manager like Guus Hiddink, surely? It all seems a bit silly, given that Grant has already managed the Israeli national team.

I see your Gabriel Agbonlahor and raise you one Wes Brown…

Arsenal 5-0 Derby
Emmanuel Adebayor scored a hat-trick and Cesc Fabregas stole the show as the Gunners hit top gear.
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ronaldo%20pro%20evo.JPGCristiano Ronaldo is the face Pro Evo 2008 (due out next month), but we are more interested in his hair than his face. To be fair, that is exactly where your eyes will be drawn when you look at the picture on the game’s box. His perfectly sculpted quiff defies gravity. Whether he fancies David Beckham’s old Brylcreem contract we don’t know, but some serious quantities of hair gel have gone into extending his forehead to that length.

fergusonVs.jpgAh. Bless Sir Alex Ferguson. He’s ranting about referees again. He really doesn’t like ‘em does he? Maybe it was a ref’ who was chopping at his ankles the other day? Anyway, Sir Alex has expressed displeasure about the appointment of the German referee Herbert Fandel for the return of Cristiano Ronaldo and Nani to Sporting Lisbon tonight…

Here’s the first of our daily round-ups of some of the best posts on our excellent array of club sites dedicated to the big five (don’t laugh, but the big five does include Spurs), as well as Kickster, our new blog devoted to women’s football: Gunners rolling in cash (not unlike Demi Moore in Indecent […]

76470813.jpgFor the past few weeks we’ve been musing over Manchester United’s shortage of strikers, wondering if they would spend again and who would be the ideal signing.

Most football fans were more than happy to leap aboard the ‘Roy Keane is God’ bandwagon after he guided Sunderland from the depths of the Championship to the Premier League in one rocket-fuelled rise. But recent defeats to Wigan and Liverpool in the league, and then Luton in the Carling Cup, will test Keane’s resolve […]

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Former Manchester United renegade Gabriel Heinze is the subject of this week’s Photoshop assault in the Guardian Gallery. Real Madrid’s new £6.8 million signing gets a ribbing over his pre-season antics. Pies’ particular favourite is this effort featuring Heinze Argentine Mean Beanz – currently on special offer at £6.8 million.

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Ole Solskjaer is hanging up his deadly boots, Wayne Rooney is out injured (although he’s reportedly recovering faster than expected), Alan Smith and Guiseppe Rossi have moved on, Louis Saha’s body can’t be trusted, Carlos Tevez is settling in…

So there are six (count ‘em!) clubs in the group stages of this season’s Champions League: the big four in England, plus Celtic and Rangers. The English clubs can’t meet each other, because they are all amongst the top eight seeds, but there’s a very strong chance that we’ll see another so-called ‘Battle of Britain’, […]

Ole brings the ball under control during a Champions League match against Fenerbahce in 1996. Photo Clive Brunskill/Allsport

Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City
Cesc Fabregas finally found a breakthrough, despite an excellent performance from Manchester City goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel. The young Dane made a string of saves, including Robin van Persie’s 65th minute penalty.
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This video shows something that is a bit of a rarity at the moment: Kasper Schmeichel conceding a goal. But here he is Peter’s lad aged six conceding a sloppy goal in the Old Trafford tunnel. Steve Bruce’s son Alex, currently playing at Ipswich, is the man who beats him at his near post.

Free Gabriel Heinze t-shirt

August 21st, 2007

Gabriel Heinze’s attempts to move from Manchester United to Liverpool are expected to be settled by a Premier League arbitration panel later today. This should provide a speedy resolution to the situation, just ask Heinze’s new team-mate and compatriot Carlos Tevez!

76174518.jpgWith only two points to show from their first three games, it’s United’s worst start to the league for 15 years and Fergie has already admitted that the Champions face an uphill struggle to reclaim their title.

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With a combined cost of around £250m, even Roman’s roubles would be stretched to afford this team consisting of the most expensive players (in their position) in the Premier League.

2403664.jpgIs it just me, or does Cristiano Ronaldo have a new free kick routine?

Portsmouth 1-1 Manchester United
Cristiano Ronaldo grimaces after being shown a red card for violent conduct.
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1275780.jpgWatching the Football Years last night (on some freeview channel), I reveled in the season or 89/90. That year, Liverpool won the league, Man United won the FA Cup and most importantly, the biggest charlatan in football made his appearance…

Shamon motherf*cker! Remember when Michael Jackson was still black and had most of his own facial features?

This spoof of Wayne Rooney’s Put It Where You Want It campaign for his new Nike boots shows Reading centre-back Michael Duberry putting it exactly where he wants it – right on top of Wazza’s paper-thin boots. Crunch goes the metatarsal.