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Who ate all the pies

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Man Utd

Manchester United: All the latest Manchester United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

April 1996 Matt Le Tissier shoots at goal as Ryan Giggs and David Beckham look on during the FA Premiership match between Southampton and Manchester United held on April 13, 1996 at The Dell. Southampton won the match 3-1, a famous victory for the Saints. Photo Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

jonny_evans.jpgFirst, what we know about this incident, and I’ll leave the ‘facts’ up to the BBC, because I think they can afford any legal bills more than Pies:

Photographic evidence that Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo is taking cheating to a whole new level. The Portuguese has taken to diving in an attempt to con the referee into giving him free-kicks even when the opposition have possession of the ball!
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Like the Arsenal vs Chelsea clash, this was not a classic encounter. It was also a surprisingly low-key affair with relatively few talking points. Here are three things I learned from the match:
No.1 Playing in black worked wonders for Liverpool at Marseille, and it also worked for Man Utd at Liverpool on Sunday. So if Man Utd played Marseille at home and Marseille wore black, the French club would win… or something like that. Is there something about playing in black that makes you play better? I’d argue yes. I cite Reservoir Dogs:

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As this video shows, Crissy Ronaldo blatantly cheated to win a penalty against Derby County on Saturday – let’s ignore the fact he got up and took the penalty, when a selfish player would have allowed Carlos Tevez the chance to get a well-deserved hat-trick; the fact is, he conned the ref. All well and good in such a one-sided game, you might say, but that’s not the point. Imagine the furore if it had happened against Arsenal or Chelsea.

March 1995 A knackered-looking Steve Bruce tries to keep up with Robbie Fowler during the Premiership match between Liverpool and Man Utd at Anfield in the 1994/95 season. Photo Shaun Botterill/ALLSPORT

Cristiano Ronaldo indulges in a spot of fancy Dan-ing on the set of a Pro Evo photoshoot only to be shown up by a teaboy with skills!

Wayne Rooney is good mates with Ricky Hatton, despite the fact that Hatton is a massive Man City fan and Roo plays for United – their friendship conquers such tribal divisions. Rooney, who has carried Hatton’s world title belt to the ring before, is absolutely desperate to attend his mate’s fight against Floyd Mayweather in […]

‘Both readers of this blog will have noted the lame gag we used after United drew Aston Villa in the third round of the FA Cup for the fourth time in seven seasons – namely that the FA must have their balls glued together. Well while that might not be the case – although we […]

Is Gary Neville’s career over?

November 30th, 2007

Football isn’t the same without Gary Neville. He’s one of the finest ever examples of a player who you love if he’s on your team, but absolutely hate if he’s not. Even Man Utd fans know deep down that he’s a bit of a humourless prat, but he’s their humourless prat. We do miss G […]

horror%20hair%20veloso.JPGSporting Lisbon midfielder Miguel Veloso was one player especially hoping to catch Sir Alex Ferguson’s eye when he played against Manchester United last night, and he certainly picked a haircut to do just that. The 21-year-old holding player is reportedly a target for Fergie who wants to add him to the Old Trafford Portuguese contingent before next season.

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Fergie has been busy throwing down a psychological gauntlet to his current crop of players this week by claiming they are the best squad he’s ever had in his time at the club.

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Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo has been told to stay off the pies by nutritionalists who fear his new found love of northern grub could affect his performances.

It’s been one of the longest running feuds in the Premier League but the latest spat between the two is over Sepp Blatter’s plans to limit the number of foreign players in English teams.

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Man United v Dynamo Kiev, Weds 7 November (ko 7.45pm BST)
Prediction Man United 3-0 Dynamo Kiev

I used to think Ashley was such a nice boy when he was making his way at Arsenal – the sort of polite young man you could take to meet your parents. Then, something happened to him. He went over to the Dark Side, for what reason I don’t know exactly. It all started with […]

If tomorrow’s Arsenal v Man Utd clash offers one tenth of the entertainment of this amazing FA Cup match, I’ll be a happy man. I still don’t think I’ve seen a more pulsating game in this country. Two teams – and bitter, bitter rivals, as they were, and still are – at the very top […]

52629977.jpgMan mountain and Easter Island lookalike, Jaap Stam, has called an end to his playing career because of injury and a lack of focus.

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But, while there were probably better strikes than Tevez’s first goal against Middlesborough, it was the build up that finished with a backhell pass from Rooney in the box that wins our vote.

77460907.jpgEveryone, except maybe the most tongue-tied Spurs fan, has been waxing lyrical about Arsenal all season – apparently Wenger’s boys have taken the beautiful game and given it an even more stylish makeover.

There were not quite as many goals as we saw at the Emirates last night, but this match was not so one-sided and therefore more entertaining. In truth this was a comfortable victory for the English champions, but Kiev never gave up. Kiev are not the force they were in the days of Rebrov & […]

Tempers were already frayed after the long-faced Dutchman contrived to get Patrick Viera sent off and then stepped up to take an injury time penalty with the game at 0-0.

Here’s football’s vainest man, rolling around seductively on a mattress, for a TV ad for a Portuguese bank. Man, if he was chocolate – even crappy chocolate, like the sort you get in Kinder eggs – he would definitely eat himself. Via Kickette

77370204.jpgHe may be the most gifted player of his generation but why is Wayne Rooney always involved for the wrong reasons when England go out of a major tournament, or possibly qualifying match?