Transfers & Rumours
Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.
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Go Ahead And Add Angel Di Maria To The Long List Of Players Nearly Signed By Arsene Wenger
January 23rd, 2015
Arsenal
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‘Frankie’s New York Adventure’ – Frank Lampard Times Release Of Latest Children’s Book Spectacularly Poorly
January 22nd, 2015
Funnies
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Official: Jermain Defoe Joins Sunderland In Ludicrously Massive Deal, Jozy Altidore Slinks Out T’Other Way (Photos)
January 16th, 2015
MLS
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Wilfried Bony Poses With His New Man City Shirt For The First Time (Photo)
January 14th, 2015
Man City
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It’s Official: LA Galaxy Confirm Steven Gerrard Will Join Them In July
January 7th, 2015
Liverpool
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Fernando Torres Revives His 2002 Hairstyle For Official Atletico Madrid Unveiling (Photos & Video)
January 4th, 2015
La Liga
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‘Disaster, Absolute Disaster’ – Frank Lampard Extends Man City Loan Deal, Rubs New York City FC Fans Up The Wrong Way
January 1st, 2015
Man City
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Former Ajax And Holland Midfielder Demy De Zeeuw Advertises For A New Club On LinkedIn
December 30th, 2014
Media
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‘Back Home At Last’ – Fernando Torres Confirms He Is An Atletico Madrid Player Once More
December 29th, 2014
Chelsea
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Classic Moments: Southampton Legend Ali ‘The Liar’ Dia Makes His Debut, 1996 (Video)
November 25th, 2014
Featured
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Vincent Kompany Politely Shuns Piers Morgan’s £70m Offer To Buy Him For Arsenal
November 5th, 2014
Arsenal
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Adriano (Yes, That Adriano) Attempting Yet Another Career Relaunch – ‘99% Certain’ To Sign For Le Havre In French Second Division
November 3rd, 2014
Newsnow
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Steven Gerrard Sort Of Perhaps Possibly Maybe Admits That He Might Leave Liverpool In The Summer
October 31st, 2014
Liverpool
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Lukas Podolski Demonstrates How To Debunk A Silly Transfer Rumour In One Easy Step
October 20th, 2014
Arsenal
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Harry Redknapp Pats Himself On The Back For Nearly Signing Luis Suarez (And Patrick Vieira) For Tottenham
October 9th, 2014
Managers
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Roy Keane Reveals The Hilariously Predictable Reason He Didn’t Sign Robbie Savage For Sunderland
October 8th, 2014
Blackburn Rovers
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Man Utd Fans Plan To Entice Cristiano Ronaldo Back To Old Trafford With Yet Another Sodding Plane Banner (Photo)
September 24th, 2014
FAIL
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Roma Sign Themselves A Good Ol’ Fashioned 9-Year-Old Belgian Youtube Prodigy By The Name Of Pietro Tomaselli (Video)
September 23rd, 2014
Newsnow
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Southampton Send Artur Boruc Out On Loan After ‘Sick’ Titanic Joke Goes Down Like The Titanic On Twitter
September 19th, 2014
Championship
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Ghanaian Fans Entice New Signing To Their Club By Splashing Out To Buy Him Two Plots Of Land And A New Mazda
September 18th, 2014
Newsnow
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Sulky Arse: Nicolas Anelka Joins Mumbai City, Issues Truly Awe-Inspiring Battle Cry
September 15th, 2014
Newsnow
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‘To Win Titles And Girls!’ – Ronaldinho Reveals The Reasons He Joined Mexican Side Queretaro
September 13th, 2014
Newsnow
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Getafe Block Pedro Leon Leaving After Claiming No Offers Came In For Him, Player Posts €1m Bid From Hannover 96 On Twitter (Photo)
September 12th, 2014
Bundesliga
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Clever Man Utd Fans Create Poster Lauding Ed Woodward’s Ascent From Transfer-Fumbling Zero To Big Spending Hero
September 6th, 2014
Man Utd
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Basingstoke Town Launch Ambitious Bid To Lure Ronaldinho To The Vanarama Conference South
September 4th, 2014
Newsnow