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Who ate all the pies

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Chelsea

Chelsea: All the latest Chelsea flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Chelsea%20new%20away.jpgApparently Chelsea’s new fluorescent away kit is supposed to give them some sort of edge on the pitch, although Pies would have to question the logic of having Jose Mourinho’s tactics printed on the kit for opposition managers and players to see.

Dan%20Petrescu%20t-shirt.jpgOne thing Pies loves about RetroFootballTshirts’ range is that you will often come across a shirt in honour of a player who doesn’t tend to cross your mind very often. And you can’t beat a bit of nostalgia! One such player is Dan Petrescu.

73200940.jpgThe business end of the Premiership has been dominated in recent years by the Big Four, namely Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool. Few teams have even come close to challenging that dominance, but Chelski boss Jose Mourinho believes that Spurs are now strong enough to challenge that group this coming season, and thus create a ‘Big Five’.

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Becks dispatches one of his trademark long passes on his debut for LA Galaxy. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

john-terry1.jpgThere’s tough and then there’s John Terry. Despite breaking his toe during Chelsea’s pre-season jolly against the Suwon Bluewings, he played on and still expects to be fit for this weekend’s game against Beckham’s LA Galaxy.

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Arjen Robben has reportedly agreed personal terms over a move to Real Madrid, according to the BBC. Chelsea have not yet agreed a fee with the Spanish giants, but the Dutch winger is set to fly to Madrid on Friday.

75545188.jpgCheck out these two adorable metrosexuals, just posin’ down for the paparazzi before a Chelsea party in Los Angeles. You wouldn’t have caught Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris in flip-flops (Mr JT) or a thong sandal (Lamps).

75419578.jpgSome good news and some bad news for Chelsea fans. First, the bad news: Chelsea skipper John Terry reportedly broke a toe in the 1-0 win over Suwon Bluewings in LA on Wednesday. JT played on until half-time when he was taken off in a pre-planned substitution. It has been claimed he was given a painkilling injection and could return to face LA Galaxy on Saturday, but it remains to be seen whether or not the injury will prevent Terry from starting the Premiership season.

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The “Chelsea FC Girls” welcome fans to the World Series of Football match between Chelsea and Suwon Bluewings outside the LA Galaxy’s Home Depot Center on July 17, 2007. Chelsea defeated the Korean side 1-0, thanks to a Didier Drogba goal, which you can watch after the click… [Photo: Christian Petersen/Getty Images]

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Next up off the Pies Shit Lookalike conveyer belt is England and Chelsea guvnor John Terry and actor Matthew Macfadyen, who is best known for starring in BBC spy drama Spooks.

WCHAM21806102048.jpgWhen he’s not averting civil war in Africa, the Drog is telling any journalist who’ll listen that he may or may not stay at Chelsea next season. He is quoted in today’s Sun as saying ‘Any strong economic pull can make me change my mind.’ In other words. if he got offered a shit load more cash, he’d put a money-shaped gun to Chelsea’s head and hope they match that offer. If not, he’ll leave.

Spurs down with SWP?

July 17th, 2007

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Is there no end to Spurs spending? Rumours are that the club are in ‘advanced negotiations’ to bring pocket-rocket, Shaun Wright-Williams, to White Hart Lane this week.

75439805.jpgFrom sublime hype to ridiculous and predictable reality. Yes, Becks LA Galaxy debut, set to be against Chelsea this Saturday, is in doubt due to a swollen ankle. Amazing what £250m will buy you these days.

Top Ten Transfers…so far

July 16th, 2007

1torres.jpgThere are bound to be a few more twists to this year’s transfer season, especially if someone remembers where they put Carlos Tevez’s ownership papers, but new TV money and the arrival of more glory hunting billionaires means there’s been plenty of action.
Here’s what we think are the ten best deals done so far:

Chelsea struggled to overcome Club America of Mexico, having conceded a goal after just three minutes. New signing Florient Malouda did score on his debut to equalise, then super skipper John Terry headed the winner with six minutes left to play. Watch all three goals below, plus a rather crap goal celebration after JT’s goal.

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John Terry and Frank Lampard snuggle up during an appearance at the Adidas Sports Performance Store on July 15, 2007 in Santa Monica, California. Just look how much the pair love each other. It’s scary. [Photo: Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images]

Ferg%20Mourinho.JPGIt’s July 11. We are juggernauting towards the new season like Ronaldo towards a buffet. And Jose Mourinho has decided it is time to get the Mind Games 2007-08 under way. The Special One has not fulfilled his quote quota over the last couple of months, but has sprung back into life with his latest offering.

Worst foreign imports XI

July 10th, 2007

Taibi.jpgLast week we took a look back at the greatest ever foreign players to grace the Premiership, but you can be sure that for every Bergkamp there’s a Boogers who’s just as remembered…but for all the wrong reasons.

And about time too… so Chelsea have finally completed the signing of Florent Malouda from Lyon, on a four-year contract. The 27-year-old French international has moved to Stamford Bridge for an undisclosed fee. Malouda will join Chelsea in the US for their pre-season tour, which includes a match against LA Galaxy.

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Some say nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. But now that another icon, Monsieur Henry, has left our league we took a moment to reflect on the finest overseas imports that have ever played in the Premiership.

Pre-seasonlampard.jpgLooks like Frank, aka Eric Cartman, has been demolishing his fair share of pies and cream cakes during his summer holidays. Jose Mourinho won’t be happy to see that his star midfielder has developed such an impressive set of man breasts, or moobs as we like to call ‘em. And he could do with a spot of lipo on that wobbly gut. Too much Christmas pudding Frank?

Oh, Frank’s not so bad – he comes across as a decent chap in this documentary, which is a couple of seasons old now. That said, he does seem to have major trouble opening doors and cans, not to mention working a fax machine – and this from the only player at Chelsea to have any GCSEs. Favourite quote: ‘I’m Skinny Frank, this is Fat Frank…’

Click below to watch the rest of the documentary…

Tevez.jpgCarlos Tevez has apparently turned down Inter Milan after the Serie A champions attempted to play hardball by imposing a deadline for him to make a decision – suggesting he could yet stay in the Premiership.

This clip actually made us laugh, although we have little clue as to what the feck is going on…