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Who ate all the pies

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Chelsea

Chelsea: All the latest Chelsea flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City
Cesc Fabregas finally found a breakthrough, despite an excellent performance from Manchester City goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel. The young Dane made a string of saves, including Robin van Persie’s 65th minute penalty.
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73757653.jpgHe’s gone from the country’s most expensive signing to a misfiring misfit who’s struggling to command a transfer fee, but Andriy Shevchenko still has his admirers.

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Thanks to Pies reader Leean Pindar, who spotted this glaring error in last weekend’s Sunday Times Style supplement.

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Chase me, chase me, chase me! … oh, they’ve buggered off. Sevilla, the little teases, have apparently failed in their bid to get Roman Abramovich to part with almost £25m for a right-back/Star Trek character. They should really have accepted Chelsea’s reported bid of £21.5m, which is still way over the odds for Alves, who is very good, but not that good.

76175753.jpg‘I think I have a naive team. They are naive because they are pure and they are clean.’ Jose Mourinho, exceeding himself in the ‘they said what!?’ stakes.
‘If Chelsea are naive and pure then I’m Little Red Riding Hood.’ Rafa Benitez disagrees with Jose Mourinho’s assessment of his own side.

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Does Roman call Jose ‘Hunny Bunny’, I wonder? Probably not, but the thought makes me chuckle. Thanks to Egyptian Gooner for the spot.

John Terry is Tommy Cooper

August 20th, 2007

John Terry discusses England’s defensive options ahead of the Germany game. Just like that!

[Via FanBanta]

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With a combined cost of around £250m, even Roman’s roubles would be stretched to afford this team consisting of the most expensive players (in their position) in the Premier League.

Portsmouth 1-1 Manchester United
Cristiano Ronaldo grimaces after being shown a red card for violent conduct.
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Lampard%20Chair.jpgAs previously reported on Pies, midfield barndoor misser and KD Lang lookalike, Frank Lampard, has his own TV channel dedicated to him. Orange announced the launch of Frank TV, a mobile channel dedicated to England and Chelsea star, and will be available exclusively to the 1.3 million Orange 3G customers on its mobile phone TV service. Orange mobile TV channels also include BBC, Channel 4, Sky and FHM…

The big kick-off is nigh and we don’t have a thing to wear. Well, we do now. This is part one of a bumper Kit Parade Special from Pies.
Arsenal
Arsenalhomekit.JPGThis looks a little familiar… wait a cotton picking minute! Yes, Arsenal have retained last season’s home kit for a further season. It makes my job a bit harder because you have all seen it before, but I’d be delighted if I was a Gooner. Comiserations to the parents of young Arsenal fans who will have to think a bit harder about birthday presents this year! Click here to buy it from Kitbag.

cmlotto.jpgHe may well be a born leader of men but that doesn’t mean Fergie wears the trousers at home. Apparently, the United manager has been grounded tonight and will miss United’s final pre-season friendlies while he helps his missus move house.

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Chelsea’s squad for last weekend’s Community Shield match was so bare that they played without a recognised striker for most of the match. And it looks like they’ll have to make up the numbers when their Premier League kicks off on Sunday.

1 Chelsea’s reserves have pretty much got their league sewn-up already.
2 Thomas Kuszczak and Ben Foster (when he is fit again) will have their work cut out ousting Edwin van der Sar.
3 Wayne Rooney is back! Was he ever away? Anyway, Fergie has predicted a big season from the England star and he made a promising start as he ran at defenders in a way he didn’t seem confident enough to do at times last season.

Edwin van der Sar was the star of the show as Manchester United lifted the first silverware of the season. The Dutch keeper saved three consecutive Chelsea penalties to win the Community Shield for his side in a shootout. The game had finished 1-1, with Ryan Giggs giving United the lead and Chelsea new boy Florent Malouda equalising with a neat finish. Van der Sar then saved from Claudio Pizarro, Frank Lampard and Shaun Wright Phillips in the shootout.

Chelsea%20new%20away.jpgApparently Chelsea’s new fluorescent away kit is supposed to give them some sort of edge on the pitch, although Pies would have to question the logic of having Jose Mourinho’s tactics printed on the kit for opposition managers and players to see.

Dan%20Petrescu%20t-shirt.jpgOne thing Pies loves about RetroFootballTshirts’ range is that you will often come across a shirt in honour of a player who doesn’t tend to cross your mind very often. And you can’t beat a bit of nostalgia! One such player is Dan Petrescu.

73200940.jpgThe business end of the Premiership has been dominated in recent years by the Big Four, namely Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool. Few teams have even come close to challenging that dominance, but Chelski boss Jose Mourinho believes that Spurs are now strong enough to challenge that group this coming season, and thus create a ‘Big Five’.

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Becks dispatches one of his trademark long passes on his debut for LA Galaxy. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

john-terry1.jpgThere’s tough and then there’s John Terry. Despite breaking his toe during Chelsea’s pre-season jolly against the Suwon Bluewings, he played on and still expects to be fit for this weekend’s game against Beckham’s LA Galaxy.

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Arjen Robben has reportedly agreed personal terms over a move to Real Madrid, according to the BBC. Chelsea have not yet agreed a fee with the Spanish giants, but the Dutch winger is set to fly to Madrid on Friday.

75545188.jpgCheck out these two adorable metrosexuals, just posin’ down for the paparazzi before a Chelsea party in Los Angeles. You wouldn’t have caught Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris in flip-flops (Mr JT) or a thong sandal (Lamps).

75419578.jpgSome good news and some bad news for Chelsea fans. First, the bad news: Chelsea skipper John Terry reportedly broke a toe in the 1-0 win over Suwon Bluewings in LA on Wednesday. JT played on until half-time when he was taken off in a pre-planned substitution. It has been claimed he was given a painkilling injection and could return to face LA Galaxy on Saturday, but it remains to be seen whether or not the injury will prevent Terry from starting the Premiership season.

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The “Chelsea FC Girls” welcome fans to the World Series of Football match between Chelsea and Suwon Bluewings outside the LA Galaxy’s Home Depot Center on July 17, 2007. Chelsea defeated the Korean side 1-0, thanks to a Didier Drogba goal, which you can watch after the click… [Photo: Christian Petersen/Getty Images]