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Chelsea

Chelsea: All the latest Chelsea flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

73869663.jpgWhy’s it always strikers who throw their toys out of the pram first when things go wrong at a club?
Should clubs be taking a tougher stance with despondent players, whether they are scoring or not?

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Chelsea’s have rediscovered their form since beating Valencia in their previous match in this competition and Stamford Bridge has long been considered a fortress under Mourinho.

Didier Drogba and former England rugby union captain Martin Johnson pose at Stamford Bridge in NFL uniforms to promote the match between the NY Giants and Miami Dolphins, which will be played at Wembley Stadium on October 28th. Hmm, there must be a good caption or two in there… Photo Christopher Lee/Getty Images

Today’s most interesting/ridiculous/made-up in the pub football stories: Spurs have lined up Blackburn boss Mark Hughes to replace Martin Jol, if the struggling North Londoners fail to win at home against Rovers on Sunday. Will it happen? Not a chance. There’s no way Rovers will let Sparky go to Spurs – and I’m confident Hughes […]

The first in a Top Trumps-style series of Head to Heads pitches Mad Jens against the Drog. The category in question? Arrogance, which would obviously be the strongest suit of both players. So, who do you think is the more arrogant player (vote below)? Lehmann clearly thinks the sun shines out of every orifice of […]

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With Chelsea struggling to keep their stars happy while they supposedly attempt to change their style of play with an unproven manager, there’s a chance that another club could make it into the Big Four.

I miss Jose, and this is just one reason why. Puyol is one of those players who needs a slap, and The Special One duly obliges, in the tunnel before one of those ‘don’t come much bigger than this’ (Clive Tyldesley©) Chelsea vs Barcelona Champions League nights. Thanks Jose, from all of us.

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“Have you heard the one about the Englishman, Portuguese and Russian?”

‘We’d like to thank Baz on our comment boards for spotting this one. Quite uncanny. Sonja, Alan’s eastern European girlfriend was a big fan of James Bond, sex and handbags, while alas we know sweet FA about what Martina Cech [Petr Cech's missus] is into. We’re also guessing Sonja’s a Norwich City supporter, but we […]

Most ridiculous football rumour of the day, without doubt, is the Daily Express’s story that Avram Grant wants to buy Kaka from AC Milan, ‘even if it costs him £100 million’. The Express’s ‘source’ (some bloke down a pub in Fulham, perhaps?) said: ‘Kaka is certainly a long-term target, and if there is any chance […]

As spotted today on sister site Chelsea Pies. Reason No.6 is our favourite… 1 Inter desperately need him Apparently Milan’s second best team want to buy Non-fat Frank to replace Non-fat Patrick Vieira who seems to be heading Manchester City’s way. 2 He still hasn’t been offered a proper new contract by Chelsea Come on […]

Cristiano Ronaldo has offered an olive branch to Jose Mourinho after the pair became embroiled in a row at the end of last season, which ended with the ex-Chelsea boss claiming Ronaldo ‘lacked class’. But, in a surprising U-turn, Ronaldo has shown he bears no ill feeling towards Jose: ‘English football will miss Jose Mourinho. […]

Aston Villa 1-0 West Ham
Craig Gardner won the match for Villa, but Dean Ashton is now a doubt for England after picking up a knee injury.
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Crazy Sepp Blatter wants a quota on foreign players in European teams; each club would only be allowed to have five foreign players in its starting XI. Blatter sees this as the solution to encouraging home-grown talent, but, honestly, we’re too far down the line to go back to such a quota system, and anyway […]

This slightly weird video from Football365 shows Agent Peter Kenyon revealing his masterplan to topple Chelski from the inside after being sent to infiltrate them by General Sir Alex Ferguson!

This was a pretty remarkable win for Avramovitch’s Chelski at one of Europe’s toughest places to get a result – if Jose Mourinho had been in charge, we’d all be celebrating his managerial genius. As much as I find much to dislike about John Terry, you can’t argue with the purity of his fighting spirit, […]

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There is just something about the droopy cheeks and the crazy eyewear that tickled me when I saw the two photos near each other on the Beeb’s website. Arsenal fans, who would you rather have take control of the club?!!

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Well, there you have it. John Terry in training for Chelsea’s crucial Champions League match against Valencia tonight complete with a face mask to protect his broken cheekbone. It’s not quite as colourful as we had envisaged. Let the lookalike suggestions commence!

A disagreement turns into a full-blown scuffle during this season’s Community Shield between Man United and Chelsea. This is what happens when Man Yoo fans from Croydon and Manchester clash, I guess.

John Terry will play for Chelsea in their Champions League match against Valencia tomorrow, despite suffering a depressed cheekbone fracture, courtesy of Clint Dempsey’s elbow, on Saturday. The Sun imagine JT’s mask will look like this, putting me in mind of that great episode of Only Fools and Horses, when Del and Rodney dress up […]

mrtoshack.jpgJohn Toshack is a man who knows a thing or two about being in at the deep end in the world of football. He’s played in the Liverpool side that became one of the most successful teams in history, as well as leading Real Madrid to La Liga. He also knows a thing or two about playing games with the press saying directly translating stock footballing phrases into Spanish that only make sense in the original English… “La Liga es el pan y la mantequilla y la nata es la Copa del Rey or ‘The League is the bread and butter and the Cup is the cream’…

Birmingham 0-1 Manchester United
Crissy Ronaldo (© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.
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Dr Lopes is not happy when he’s being interviewed for Portguguese TV and the interview is interrupted by footage of Jose Mourinho returning to his homeland. Lopes, who was Prime Minister of Portugal from 2004-2005, bemoans the fact that such news would be deemed more important than him, and ends the interview. Good old Jose, […]

Chelsea are the Abramovich Family

September 28th, 2007

Jose Mourinho has been given the Guardian Gallery treatment this week. And with Special One hype at its peak there is a bumper load of entries, including the one below which paints Chelsea as the Addams Family. Click here to see them all.