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Who ate all the pies

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Sunderland

Sunderland: All the latest Sunderland flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

HEROES
Benjani Mwaruwari Scoring the winning goal in the Manchester derby is not a bad debut in anyone’s books, even if you are only there for the money!

79494592.jpgFootball is a team game, but it’s amazing how much of an effect one individual can have on his ten team-mates. Witness Jimmy Bullard’s match-winning performance for Fulham against Aston Villa at Craven Cottage yesterday afternoon. His return from a long-term injury has lifted everyone at the club; it’s no coincidence that Fulham struggled in Bullard’s absence.

anelka250707_468x752.jpgThe January transfer window is open for business, and so football’s rumour mill has gone into overdrive. Will Berbatov stay at Spurs? Has Joey Barton taken a shower yet? So many questions, so few answers. Here are the top 5 transfer window rumours of the day, neatly summarised in one cut-out-and-keep package:
1 Avram Grant wants to splash out £35m to sign both Nicolas Anelka and ‘want-away’ Dimitar Berbatov. Via Daily Star

Two sets of ginger locks blowing in the breeze. Two pairs of ginger eyebrows and puffy eyes beneath them. One is Irish, the other is German. One plays in the red-and-white of Sunderland, the other played surrounded by the red-and-white of strawberries and cream!
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Football’s least favourite bad boy, Joey Barton, is back in hot water after attempting to castrate Dickson Etuhu during the North East derby between Sunderland and Newcastle at the weekend.

Now it’s time to take the gloves off by asking you to decide who’s the hardest between two heavyweight managers that you wouldn’t want to meet down a dark training ground – it’s one North East derby that would guarntee claret being spilt.

In which Gus Poyet, Tottenham’s new sidekick, inflicts some awesome ‘karate goalness’ on Sunderland. And what a sublime chip from Gianfranco Zola to set Poyet up. Now, if Gus can only teach Jermaine Jenas to do that at Spurs, he will be on to something.

Nolberto Solano celebrates as his shot rebounds in off of distraught goalkeeper Craig Gordon for an own goal during the Premier League match between West Ham and Sunderland at Upton Park on October 21, 2007. Photo Phil Cole/Getty Images

Aston Villa 1-0 West Ham
Craig Gardner won the match for Villa, but Dean Ashton is now a doubt for England after picking up a knee injury.
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Birmingham 0-1 Manchester United
Crissy Ronaldo (© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.
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Arsenal 5-0 Derby
Emmanuel Adebayor scored a hat-trick and Cesc Fabregas stole the show as the Gunners hit top gear.
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It was with much sadness that the yellow breaking news Sky Sports scrolly thing delivered us the news that Ian Porterfield had died last night. The double-hard Scotsman was probably best known for his time as a player at Sunderland, but he was also an international and Premier League manager.
Here, then as a mini tribute to the chap, are his top 10 sporting achievements as we see it. If you have any memories of Porterfield’s reign at your particular club / country please let us know…

Most football fans were more than happy to leap aboard the ‘Roy Keane is God’ bandwagon after he guided Sunderland from the depths of the Championship to the Premier League in one rocket-fuelled rise. But recent defeats to Wigan and Liverpool in the league, and then Luton in the Carling Cup, will test Keane’s resolve […]

Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City
Cesc Fabregas finally found a breakthrough, despite an excellent performance from Manchester City goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel. The young Dane made a string of saves, including Robin van Persie’s 65th minute penalty.
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72940195.jpgApparently, Andy Cole is on the verge of signing for Sunderland after Harry Redknapp agreed to release the 35 year-old from the last two years (!?) of his Portsmouth contract.

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With a combined cost of around £250m, even Roman’s roubles would be stretched to afford this team consisting of the most expensive players (in their position) in the Premier League.

Portsmouth 1-1 Manchester United
Cristiano Ronaldo grimaces after being shown a red card for violent conduct.
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Fresh from his outspoken comments on WAGs, here is a Roy Keane t-shirt showing the Sunderland boss as Brad Pitt in the film Snatch. He becomes Pikey Mickey, the caravan-dwelling, dog-loving bareknuckle boxer, for this t-shirt from TShirts365.

_42023998_keane300.jpgOur question asking whether footballers are under the thumb seems to have been answered by that eternal fountain of testosterone himself, Roy Keane.

Following yesterday’s imaginatively titled Part One, today Pies profiles the home kits of the 10 Premiership teams who would have their names called at last on the school register.
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There is a hint of baseball to Citeh’s new shirt, with its rather fetching white pinstripes. Reebok are out and French brand Le Coq Sportif (currently enjoying a Lazarus-style revival) are in. Last season’s white sleeves are also ditched, and on reflection it is probably a good call. Click here to buy it from Kitbag.

As the season draws ever nearer (tomorrow! TOMORROW!), I’ll be throwing a few of these up before anyone can get depressed/begin dreams of winning the league after 90 minutes of football. So, the latest to offer their tuppence is a proud Mackem who wants nothing but bad for the Geordies and is keen to see […]

gordon.jpgRoy Keane has broken the British transfer record for a goalkeeper by signing Craig Gordon from Hearts for an astonishing £9 million.

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In one of the most surprising transfers yet this season, overweight Spurs striker Mido has joined underachieving (in the Prem at least) Sunderland for a fee of £6m.

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A big shout-out to Pies reader Mark Sharon for spotting that Kieran Richardson looks rather similar to Micah (played by Noah Gray-Cabey, a ten-year-old classically trained pianist), a character in new hit TV show ‘Heroes’. I haven’t yet seen Heroes, but friends tell me it’s rather good – unlike Kieran, who is rather shit.