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Who ate all the pies

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Sunderland

Sunderland: All the latest Sunderland flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

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Football’s least favourite bad boy, Joey Barton, is back in hot water after attempting to castrate Dickson Etuhu during the North East derby between Sunderland and Newcastle at the weekend.

Now it’s time to take the gloves off by asking you to decide who’s the hardest between two heavyweight managers that you wouldn’t want to meet down a dark training ground – it’s one North East derby that would guarntee claret being spilt.

In which Gus Poyet, Tottenham’s new sidekick, inflicts some awesome ‘karate goalness’ on Sunderland. And what a sublime chip from Gianfranco Zola to set Poyet up. Now, if Gus can only teach Jermaine Jenas to do that at Spurs, he will be on to something.

Nolberto Solano celebrates as his shot rebounds in off of distraught goalkeeper Craig Gordon for an own goal during the Premier League match between West Ham and Sunderland at Upton Park on October 21, 2007. Photo Phil Cole/Getty Images

Aston Villa 1-0 West Ham
Craig Gardner won the match for Villa, but Dean Ashton is now a doubt for England after picking up a knee injury.
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Birmingham 0-1 Manchester United
Crissy Ronaldo (© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.
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Arsenal 5-0 Derby
Emmanuel Adebayor scored a hat-trick and Cesc Fabregas stole the show as the Gunners hit top gear.
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It was with much sadness that the yellow breaking news Sky Sports scrolly thing delivered us the news that Ian Porterfield had died last night. The double-hard Scotsman was probably best known for his time as a player at Sunderland, but he was also an international and Premier League manager.
Here, then as a mini tribute to the chap, are his top 10 sporting achievements as we see it. If you have any memories of Porterfield’s reign at your particular club / country please let us know…

Most football fans were more than happy to leap aboard the ‘Roy Keane is God’ bandwagon after he guided Sunderland from the depths of the Championship to the Premier League in one rocket-fuelled rise. But recent defeats to Wigan and Liverpool in the league, and then Luton in the Carling Cup, will test Keane’s resolve […]

Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City
Cesc Fabregas finally found a breakthrough, despite an excellent performance from Manchester City goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel. The young Dane made a string of saves, including Robin van Persie’s 65th minute penalty.
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72940195.jpgApparently, Andy Cole is on the verge of signing for Sunderland after Harry Redknapp agreed to release the 35 year-old from the last two years (!?) of his Portsmouth contract.

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With a combined cost of around £250m, even Roman’s roubles would be stretched to afford this team consisting of the most expensive players (in their position) in the Premier League.

Portsmouth 1-1 Manchester United
Cristiano Ronaldo grimaces after being shown a red card for violent conduct.
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Fresh from his outspoken comments on WAGs, here is a Roy Keane t-shirt showing the Sunderland boss as Brad Pitt in the film Snatch. He becomes Pikey Mickey, the caravan-dwelling, dog-loving bareknuckle boxer, for this t-shirt from TShirts365.

_42023998_keane300.jpgOur question asking whether footballers are under the thumb seems to have been answered by that eternal fountain of testosterone himself, Roy Keane.

Following yesterday’s imaginatively titled Part One, today Pies profiles the home kits of the 10 Premiership teams who would have their names called at last on the school register.
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There is a hint of baseball to Citeh’s new shirt, with its rather fetching white pinstripes. Reebok are out and French brand Le Coq Sportif (currently enjoying a Lazarus-style revival) are in. Last season’s white sleeves are also ditched, and on reflection it is probably a good call. Click here to buy it from Kitbag.

As the season draws ever nearer (tomorrow! TOMORROW!), I’ll be throwing a few of these up before anyone can get depressed/begin dreams of winning the league after 90 minutes of football. So, the latest to offer their tuppence is a proud Mackem who wants nothing but bad for the Geordies and is keen to see […]

gordon.jpgRoy Keane has broken the British transfer record for a goalkeeper by signing Craig Gordon from Hearts for an astonishing £9 million.

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In one of the most surprising transfers yet this season, overweight Spurs striker Mido has joined underachieving (in the Prem at least) Sunderland for a fee of £6m.

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A big shout-out to Pies reader Mark Sharon for spotting that Kieran Richardson looks rather similar to Micah (played by Noah Gray-Cabey, a ten-year-old classically trained pianist), a character in new hit TV show ‘Heroes’. I haven’t yet seen Heroes, but friends tell me it’s rather good – unlike Kieran, who is rather shit.

Meet Cork City striker Roy O’Donovan who is likely to link-up with his namesake Keane in the near future. Sunderland and Fulham are both interested in the 21-year-old striker who they believe could be the next Kevin Doyle. The Reading striker forged the route from Cork City to scoring regularly in the Premier League. O’Donovan scored 21 goals in the Eircom League last season, and both Keane and Lawrie Sanchez seem happy that he can make the step up to the Premiership.

campbell.jpgWith Fergie refusing Liverpool’s £6.8m bid for Gabriel Heinze and claiming United would ‘never’ sell to their bitterest rivals, we take a look at a few transfers that have taken place between clubs with a history of hatred.

66090.jpgEven the most ardent of Richardson supporters could never argue that he was an integral part of Man Utd’s squad. Alex Ferguson seemed to rate him more highly than the rest of us – whenever I saw him play for United he ran around like a headless chicken, giving the ball away for fun and generally looking not fit to wear the famous red shirt. In fact, if asked ‘Which player would you get rid of this summer?’ I’d imagine that a majority of Utd fans would name Richardson as their first choice.

Chopra.JPGIf anyone knows Pies would really like to find out what the answer is. Michael Chopra is the latest player to move for a ridiculous fee. Cardiff have flogged the 23-year-old striker to Roy Keane’s Sunderland for £5 million, and who can blame them. That is an extra nought on the figure they paid Newcastle for him last summer. Yes, he had a decent season and scored 22 goals but does that really mean he is worth £5 million?